And you thought you were stressed over your dress...
more by scrapsoflife
You HAVE to read this story! SOOOO CUTE!
Parents who suck the joy out of enagement...
more in Emotional
Hair and Make-up trial not the reaction I was expecting!!
Comfortable Wedding Shoes
more in Boards
Printer recommendation for DIY cardstock projects?

anyone ever dealt with wedding envy?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  •  
    1.
    Member
    362 posts
    Helper bee
    scrapsoflife    December 19, 2008   San Diego

    Hubby and I got married last December during a small intimate ceremony at a beautiful winery with our closest friends (well, most of them) and family. It was a wonderful day. It really was.

    But right now I'm at my sister in law's house on her wedding day, sitting by watching her and her bridesmaids spend the morning together getting ready for the big event in a few hours. And I'm finding myself getting super jealous! I started feeling like this yesterday, too, during her rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I just keep thinking to myself "Why wasn't my wedding like this? Why wasn't my rehearsal dinner as fun and social? Why weren't my bridesmaids as fun and lively and excited as my SIL's are?" And this BOTHERS me! I know I would have done a few things differently if I had had more than 3 months to plan my wedding. But I feel like some things should have been better for my wedding and they weren't. I'm not at all regretting my wedding. I LOVED it. The size of it, the people who were there, just getting married! But I still find myself envious of my friends, feeling like they had a better wedding than I did.

    Am I alone in feeling like this? Have any of you other bees had some sort of wedding envy?

     
    2.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    Is it more like a regret than jealousy? For example, when I was out last night there was a bachelorette party and I caught the J-bug. But I think it was more "ooo i'm so jealous i don't get to do that again!" and I already had my turn. BUT, that doesn't mean I didn't want to relive the experiences again. It's such a fun and beautiful experience, and you really only get one shot (if you're lucky that is, haha). For me, I just want to relive =]. I'm in 2 weddings next month and I know I'll be watching the brides going "oh i wish that was me again!" b/c it was so magical. but yes, there's a teensy bit of jealousy involved I'd say. Just as, I'm sure, she was jealous during yours! Hope that helps. I think it's a bit norm especially when you're still a newlywed. i get photographer jealousy, though. "i wish I wish I wish". Sigh

     
    3.
    Member
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    DaisyBride    June 1, 2009  

    Is it possible that you are just seeing it from a different prespective as a laid back guest instead of a stressed out bride?  Maybe your rehearsal was that fun but you didn't notice because you were so stressed.  Try to think about the positive and unique aspects of your wedding and remember that at least you don't have a stack of thank you cards to be written when you get home from this wedding!!

    I'm getting married in 15 days and one of my biggest fears is that I'll somehow emotionally miss my own wedding, that I'll be too busy and stressed to have fun and that before I know it, everyone will be leaving and it will be over. 

     
    4.
    Member
    145 posts
    Blushing bee
    StephMay1609    May 16 2009   Toronto

    Daisy Bride, I had that exact same fear. Sadly, in some ways, it was what happened. My advice to you is take 20 minutes by yourself at some point (which I didn't do) during the day and just take in the moment.

    As for regrets, mine are family and venue related. The family thing is something I was really mad at the time about. I had two cousins as my BMs and they were not present for pretty much anything. They were very much just 'there'. They only helped with a couple of things and their mom was supposed to be my DOC and then she just didn't do anything. They were late on the day of (didn't want to get their hair/makeup done with me) by an hour and a half. The mom sat in the corner and pouted the whole time (still don't know what that was about). My inlaws were late to the ceremony and were rude during speeches. It really upset me! As for the venue, the coordinator was terrible, seating everyone before dinner was ready, and then asking me all kinds of questions. She was a pain.

    However, the pictures of the day are amazing. My photographers were amazing and they made everything much better! :)

    I hope you have a great day. Remember at the end of the day, you're married!

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    coralray24    09/26/2009   Tucson, AZ

    I am feeling it already and I haven't even got married yet.  I am in my friends wedding (and she is in mine).  She is getting married two weeks after me, and even though I love the things I have chosen, when I got her invitations in the mail or was at her bridal shower, there was a definate feeling of "ooh, I wish I had done that" or "why doesn't my mom do that..." etc.

    Its hard, because there are so many beautiful ways to do a wedding but in the end you only get to pick one way for each thing, so its natural to admire others as well.

     
    6.
    Member
    1,864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mary-alice-me    May 24, 2009   Kentucky

    I have, at least a little. 

    Sometimes when I see other, bigger, weddings and some of the "traditions" that we skipped, I kind of feel like I missed my chance to do that. I didn't wear a long dress, have a grand entrance, toss a bouquet, have bridesmaids, cut the cake, and probably a dozen other things that people do.

    Instead, I did what I wanted most. I knew what DH and I wanted from our wedding and it was a wonderful time. It was small, not really traditional, and we kept it simple.

    I think for me it's more that I have so many ideas of what a wonderful wedding could be. I'd love to have a fancy evening wedding in the wintertime. I'd love to have a big church wedding in my hometown and a reception in my grandma's backyard. I'd love to elope. But I did only have one chance to do things my way and I could only choose certain things.

    When I do feel a tinge of envy, I try to be happy that the bride had something completely different (how often we complain of copycats!) and that mine was also special for my guests. I'm not so jealous as I am just wishing I had the time and money to do it again and do it completely differently.

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ellisrobertson 24
    fishbone 20
    MsPanda 14
    ladyartichoke 14
    aduarte3201 14
    mypinkshoes 12
    pengoala 11
    sylvia.riggle 11
    Brielle 10
    ShellVee 10

    Emotional

    User Posts Today
    sylvia.riggle 5
    peachacid 4
    smcs28 3
    Zouave 3
    HollyCJ 3
    armychica06 2
    imageeksowhat 2
    BellaDee 2
    blueskies7 2
    tenacity 2
    More