(Closed) Anyone ever have to deal with drama on their wedding day?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Wow, I am so sorry that you had to deal with this on your wedding day.  I also had a lot of drama at my wedding.  In fact, at one point, I thought I would never be able to look back on my wedding without thinking about all of the unnecessary, negative things that other people did/said.  However, a little time and distance has really put things into perspective for me.  Three months after the fact, I can definitely say that my wedding was a wonderful day.  It doesn’t mean I excuse the bad behaviors or that I don’t remember the negativity.  All that has happened is that I can look past the negativity to concentrate on the positives: I married my best friend 3 months ago, and it was an incredible moment.  Now, instead of focusing my memories of the wedding on the bad behaviors of others, I am (usually) able to concentrate on my husband seeing me walk down the aisle, our first dance, etc…  It’s a conscious choice to not let those negative comments and behaviors ruin what was a wonderful day.

Also, I should add that one thing that helped me was to try to forgive (forgive, not necessarily reconcile with) the people I was mad at.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember that I love my family and friends for who they are, and that includes their flaws/bad behavior.  Though it will probably be hard, I think trying to forgive that person would take away some of the disappointment and hurt feelings you have when you look back on your wedding.  If the relationship is irreparable, that means just letting go of the whole thing.  But if you do want to try to save the relationship, you should sit down and hash out the whole situation with the other person.  It might come down to a “We agree to disagree” type of reconciliation, but at least some of the hurt will be lifted.  Carrying around all the pain, though, is bound to just make you more angry at that person and more upset about your wedding in general.

Something else that continues to help me is trying to remember that I’m the only one who can change how I feel about the wedding now.  Nobody else can make me feel better; I can’t re-do my wedding.  It’s up to me to come to some kind of peace about the whole thing; it’s up to me to move on.  I hope that, eventually, you can look back positively on your wedding, as well.  πŸ™‚

Post # 4
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am so sorry you had to go through this. I have no advice sorry, but I have big bee hugs! (((((HUGS))))))

Post # 5
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am so sorry you had to deal with this.  It sounds terrible.  Mrs. Spring is right though, it may be best to let this go.  You’ve told said person how you feel about her actions, and now I think it’s time to let time heal things.  Contact her when you feel like you can move forward.  If not, then the ball is in her court.  Again, I’m really sorry you had to deal with all of this on your wedding day. BIG HUGS!

Post # 6
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

i have a very opinionated family.. i’m TOTALLY expecting a ton of drama on my wedding day!! either that or my family will be completely lacksadical but if they’re engaged, there are going to be “differences of opinion”

sorry you had to go through that for your day though. it still sucks regardless.

Post # 7
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

Wow Miss Spring – I think you just helped me get over my wedding day drama!

I also went through a ton of drama on my wedding day. I was a giant ball of stress b/c of my mom, and it was just really tough to go through. Two years later, I ahve also started to focus on all the wonderful aspects of my wedding, and I think you will be able to as well. It’s sad that this person decided to make so many rude comments to everyone in your family, including your new in laws, but hopefully, time will heal the wounds and you will be able to look back at the day and see how much fun you had marrying your best friend!

Post # 8
Member
908 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is my biggest fear!!

Several of my family members aren’t talking to each other at the moment and my biggest wedding stress is worrying about them causing something at the wedding.

I hope that in time the bad memories will fade for you and that the good ones will overshadow them.  I think it’s a good thing that you were able to tell this person how you feel and I think it will help you in the long run!

HUGS!!!

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’ve been in two weddings that were filled with drama.  Mostly because of other bridesmaids.  I felt really bad for the brides because they really didn’t need all that drama.  I know for me I haven’t gotten past one of them and that was months ago and I wasn’t the bride! 

I’ve come to realize that there are lots of women out there who are just plain catty.  Not happy with anything going on in their own lives and just thrive off of the drama.  I have decided to eliminate those people from my life.  Because I don’t want to fall prey to that behavior nor do I want it on my day.

Try your best to move on.  Think only about the postive.  And when you talk to this person again if she brings up negative comments then change the subject quickly and/or end the conversation.

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Mine wasn’t filled with it, but my parents made me 30 min late to my own wedding so I didn’t get any outside pictures at our beautiful plantation house with my girls becaue dad apparently didn’t read the PRINT OUT i gave him that said when we were leaving….so when we were ready to leave he hadn’t even showered yet.

*steam*

Post # 11
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yeah.  i definitely had all the drama.  i wont bring up all the bad memories again, but i will tell you that my relationship with both of my sisters is over.  last week they got together (i am the only one living out of state) and told my father he had to choose between a relationship with them or me.  let me note here that my father has absolutely nothing to do with why we are not on speaking terms.

i think you really have to just let it go…but that does not mean forgive or forget.  that means you choose not to let yourself get all riled up reliving the not so great parts of the day.

sorry i dont have better advice.  i choose to eliminate the sources of unhappiness from my life.  you may not be able or even want to do the same.

Post # 13
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

aaahhh, this is why I love WeddingBee!  This post made me happy.  πŸ™‚

Post # 14
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@ejs4y8 AHHH! I would be so annoyed! I can totally see my dad doing something similar! Love him to death but thank goodness for my mom who keeps his entire existence on schedule πŸ˜‰

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