(Closed) Anyone ever start over because the wedding was too expensive?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have not been in that sitauation. But I have to say. If you already can’t stomach the thought of spending that much just walk away. Just send all the vendors a thank you email and let them know you’ve decided to go with another vendor. They’re in the business, they understand that not every bride and groom they meet with will book them.

Post # 4
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think you’d be burning bridges by just being honest with your vendors, tell them that they are not within your budget.  You might even luck out and have vendors give you discounts/incentives to keep your business.

Post # 5
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You might not need to start over – that may be your nerves talking.  It’s too bad that your venue is communicating poorly. Can you get a quote from them that includes everything? Even including tip, taxes, etc? It’s okay to look at other venues – maybe you’ll find that your venue is really overpriced or a really good value, based on what’s included in the estimate.

Post # 6
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes. We planned on a wedding for 250 in Lexington, Ky. We moved in the middle of our engagement to Mississippi. Suddenly a huge wedding 450 miles away seemed silly and expensive. We would have to use our week off in KY. I wanted a honeymoon! We decided instead on 25 people for a Destination Wedding. Win win

Post # 7
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yep, we changed everything.  Our wedding was originally going to cost $12k…our budget was $6k.  We ended up doing a brunch instead of a dinner, at a different venue and got a lot of things on sale/ DIYed it up.

When you put it into terms of “thrill of the hunt,” it gets a lot easier; suddenly I was stalking prey, like a fearless lioness ready to feed her pride.  I get a little weird sometimes.  

Talk to your uncle, I’m sure it won’t burn bridges to walk away.  Just say that it’s not in the budget and you didn’t realize how expensive it would be.  Or say your budget has changed, if it makes you feel better.   Have you used theknot’s budget calculator?  Or I think weddingwire has one too maybe, but either way, it gives you a pretty realistic breakdown on theknot and you can delete things that don’t apply to you or add extra expenses.  That will give you an approximate idea of how much you should set aside for floral, stationary, etc.

Whatever your budget is, always figure that you will probably go at least 5% over it with little last-minute details.  Those things add up.  Sorry that this is so overwhelming 🙁  Try going over to the budget brides board to look for ideas on saving money, some of those ladies are very good at squeezing every penny out of a dollar.  You are going to have a beautiful wedding, and if the cost is physically affecting you, it’s okay to re-evaluate, go back to the original budget, and find a way to make it work.  You’re still going to have a beautiful wedding.

Post # 8
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@VMars:  You know, H and I have revamped our wedding idea probably 10 different times.  I researched locations in 3 different countries and 5 different states!  As in I went and did all the research for each location, even paid and put deposits down on one location, but thankfully got nearly all of that back.  SO yes, it happens!  Best to do as much research as possible up front, which you may have done.

Post # 10
1274 posts
Bumble bee

Yep. In the re-planning stages now. We had our hall booked (mostly all-inclusive) and due to a lot of factors had to postpone and cancel the hall. And lost a ton of money. BUT, sometimes these things happen for a reason and it makes you re-focus on the important things. As long as the two of you are married at the end of the day, that’s is the point! 😉 

We’re scaling back and trying to do something at about half the price or less then the original plan and it’s hard because my original visions keep popping in and getting in the way, haha. 

My advice? Sit down and get a rational and reasonable budget hammered out. Don’t inflate it either, thinking that you’ll possibly get a bonus here or top the amount your dad offered to pay unless you always top up a savings account at that time. From that ask around, family, friends, etc for help looking for certain things or if they know someone. Don’t be afraid to thank a vendor for their time and let them know that your budget has been changed and you don’t think you’ll be able to afford them. Also – sit down with your Fiance. You said he would be disappointed. Maybe he will be. But it’s better to figure it all out now, then a month before when you realize you’re about to be broke. Trust me. 🙂


Post # 11
1292 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@VMars:  I’m going to say cancel and start over. OR, at the very least, start looking at other options. I felt sick over how much was being spent…. the only difference is I was gifted an amount of money and could do with it what I wanted. I knew my dad wanted me to spend it on a wedding but he also would’ve been proud if I was “responsible” and didn’t.

Anyway, my wedding is wayyyy too expensive for what it is. I truly wish I had picked something WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY cheaper. I feel sick about it and it’s still 3 months away!

Post # 12
34 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

I actually planned 3 weddings just to get to our final LOL.  FI and I were joking I could be a wedding planner now.  We scratched the first 2 because at the end of the day we weren’t in love with everything about them (including the price).

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