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So I was just wondering if any of you ladies every get put into an uncomfortable situation over your ring??? Now my ring isn't huge, and in my opinion isn't super flashy. However my diamond is almost perfect with only one tiny inclusion so it's pretty sprakly all the time. (the how often do you get your ring cleaned post prompted me to do this one)
Well I have a friend who is also engaged, and it seems like the past 5 times I have hung out with her she has embarrassed me over my ring. Just a few weeks ago I met her Aunt who she is very close too for the first time, and her aunt, her and I were talking. Well my friend just blurted out OMG your ring is so sparkly and then held up her finger, to put her ring next to mine, (well her diamond looks like an off brown next to mine) then her aunt takes her hand and goes yea and omg look at how big your ring is next to mine. I'm not a modest person by any means, but to me doing things like that are borderline rude, and make me feel so uncomfortable. The friend mentioned above has even started saying stuff about comparing my diamond to hers infront of everyone that FI even said something last time we all hung out as a group. Now in noway am I complaining about ring as I love it, I more complaining about being embarrassed by how others act, and wondering what you other bees do in similar situations....
She's probably trying to make up for the fact that she's slightly jealous of your ring, so don't get embarrased! If I were you I would just try to casually change the subject if she does it again.
I have been slightly embarrassed before though...my ring isn't huge (just over 1 carat) but like yours it is SUPER SPARKLY especially in the sun. I've had random people at like bus stops make comments about it (who I don't even know) and it's embarrassing and makes me worry someone is going to try and rob me, haha.
My friend has a HUGE 3 carat rock and we give her a hard time about it. Its a completely joking manner though and she will usually spit back something about us being paupers with our "not even a carat" rings. Its all in fun though, but if this is something that bothers you just bring it up to your friend.
I totally understand where you are coming from, people do this to me all the time and it makes me feel so uncomfortable. My ring sounds exactly like yours - not huge, but bigger than average, perfect cut and color with small inclusion (which saves a TON of $ BTW, DH is so smart). I've had people grab my hand and put it next to their ring and say "Wow, look how much BIGGER yours is than mine!" and I have no idea what to say. Yes, it's bigger? Yeah, it looks less yellow and sparkles a lot more? I mean, you can't admit to anything because it would be rude. I always just try to turn the subject back around to focusing on MY ring by thanking them for the compliment and mentioning that I will be sure to tell DH.
Same here. I just smile and say "thank you!" My parents joke and call it "the rock."
I would think as long as you don't brag, be smug, or say something like, "I know" the novelty with folks who see us often will fade.
@moderndaisy:ahhh that's exactly how feel! Like really do you want me to agree with you about the differences in how our rings look. lol!
I get it from random people too, but I feel that is less rude because they don't do it when we are out somewhere with a bunch of our friends who have already seen both of our rings plenty of times before...
I love getting compliments on my ring. Mine isn't huge either, but it is sparkly. I wouldn't worry about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, change the subject. I'd probably even nicely tell the friend who compares your ring all the time to knock it off.
I love getting compliments on my ring. Mine isn't huge either, but it is sparkly. I wouldn't worry about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, change the subject. I'd probably even nicely tell the friend who compares your ring all the time to knock it off.
I've had this in a slightly different way - a lot of my friends made comments on how "huge" my center diamond is, how sparkly it is (colorless, hooray!) how big the whole ring itself is, etc, when it really is nothing bigger or better than anyone else's - the center diamond is even under 1 carat! (I have a pave diamond halo and 1/2 band on each side - it makes it look much bigger that it really is I think!). I absolutely love my ring - FH and I picked it out together - and know that a decent amount of money was spent on it. I get embarrassed sometimes when people refer to how much it cost (not that they actually know) or how big it is in comparison to them or money matters - we are not wealthy by any means but chose to spend a little extra on my e-ring for various reasons, and have had to cut back in a few areas of our lives to make sure it gets paid off. I hate when people assume things of me or call me out when they don't really know the whole story - I may be a little too sensitive at times, but that's how it feels to me.
I have a friend with a flawless 2 ct princess cut and people constantly grab her hand and gush. It really annoys her and I think if she had it to do over again, she would have gone smaller.
The only time I've been embarassed is when a patient's mom said, "Don't worry honey, some day he'll be able to afford a colorless diamond for you." Um, we picked a canary yellow on purpose!
Nope, not embarrassed by those comments. People will always point something out or notice something different - oh its so big - oh how cute - wow so sparkly - etc, on and on. I can't really try to play down my ring and try to be modest so I just agree with the compliment, smile and say yup, I love my ring!
@junebug12: I know how you feel. that's the same with mine it's an estate ring so I have a circle cut stone in a square setting, which did from the 20's - 30's to actually make the stone look a lot bigger.
Oh poor you... your diamond is big and perfect. Seriously?? You're getting upset because people are complimenting you on your ring too much? I guess I just don't understand.
my ring sounds very similar to yours and i've gotten some stupid comments too.
one night, i was at dinner with a bunch of friends right after i got engaged and my friends were checking out the ring. i was sitting next to a girl who had gotten married recently and her diamond is a little smaller than mine (mines just over 1ct and hers is like .7). another friend was like 'why is your diamond not sparkly like blondeee's?" i felt HORRIBLE for her idiotic comment. my friend just replied 'well her diamond must be really high quality or something'.
seriously, i think my face turned bright red even though i had nothing to do with the comment.
I've had people do that to me too. I always say something like, "Yeah, I love it" or "Yeah, Jim did a fantastic job" or even... "yep..."! haha
I'm so glad this thread is here. FI totally doesn't understand. I'm not a super flashy person, but constantly (or so it feels) have strangers grabbing my hand. My ring sound similar to Junebug12. Round stone, right at a carat with a pave halo setting all in white gold. It's really sparkly. I don't wear any other jewlery or a watch so it really stands out.
I once had my daughter's dental hygenist stop mid sentence to tell me I had my own little flash light. It's a weekly occurance that is flattering, but sometimes annoying. I make sure to tell FI about each on though. . . it sure pumps up his ego. He picked the ring totally on his own. . no opinions from me at all.
My ring isn't even that big and I get comments about the size all the time... I think the whole ring is 1 1/2 carat total weight... I usually feel flattered, I don't let it offend me or anything. I love having a beautiful ring =)
My ring is almost 70 years old, my grandmother gave it to FI and I and we had a new band put on it. I love it, the unique setting and it means the world to be... but I'm pretty sure that no one has EVER complimented me on it, which makes me kind of sad.
I'm embarassed because my ring isn't flashy OR expensive and looks more like a promise ring than anything. I WISH I was embarassed over how awesome my ring was!XD
its happened to me a few times... im not embarrassed just uncomfortable.... i live in the midwest... and here a 1 carat ring is pretty big. i have a 1 carat solitaire and i have had a few people ask me if its real... and a few say omg thats huge! .... to me its the prefect size.... and in new york or somewhere else itd be small. so it makes me a little uncomfortable when people make remarks like that.
I know how that feels too!! I have a decent size ring, above the average but because FI can afford it. I get "the rock" and people saying that I'm spoiled (by no mean I am, I have worked since 16 and put myself through school and I give my parents allowance so they don't have to work as hard). It makes me feel really self conscious to hear people say those things and I get embarassed to the point where I would just turn the diamond into my palm just to keep them from being overly excited over my ring. My ring is the only piece of jewelry I own btw.
I'm not embarrassed, b/c my ring is EXACTLY what I wanted, but right after I became engaged (and to this day), people are struck speechless by it -it's like the ring embarrasses them! One person asked if it was a promise ring -hahahahaha! PROMISE ring?? I'm 30 years old!! Isn't that what an engagement ring IS? "I promise I'll marry you in a year." I'm just not a solitaire person, and my sister's friend saw it and thought it was beautiful -we have the same aesthetic. I could care less what people think. I could have chosen a solitaire, but I'm the one who has to wear it. Plus it sparkles like mad -sorry for the bad pic!
I LOVe when people notice mine! I was actually at an event this weekend and somone told me afterward that they had noticed how sparkly it was from across the room. I was thrilled!
I've had the opposite.. I've actually had people tell me "when is he going to upgrade your ring?" or the worst, "It's sad he didn't think you were worth something bigger." After that comment I stayed away from ring discussions and topics but this one sparked me and i just wanted to say that women will be mean. They will. When you feel bad, or sad about they way you feel about a material posession try to remember how much you LOVE your man and how much you LOVE what you two have.
Next time when someone says ANYTHING about your ring simply say, "...I'm lucky to be loved so much by my man." No one can say anything against that. :)
Oh and here, mines a little over a half carot TW.
@ Lil SantosGirl
Your ring is beautiful! When I read your post and saw your ring I was horrified people have actually said those things to you, especially about your ring! I think it's a very very pretty setting!! Some people are just nasty and jealous!
I think my ring gets a bit rediculous at times. When I wear my uniform gloves it looks like a lump or tumor, while it makes it easy to pick out in photos, it doesn't look right, especially when I carry my left hand right by my face. It also draws some uncomfortable attention as most girls who get engaged my age are engaged to guys still in college so their rings are ~1/2 the size of mine.
Someone didn't listen when I asked for a smaller stone (he's sitting next to me gloating about that- especially that he was under budget, I was hoping that he wouldn't get as good of deals as he did.)
Despite the size, it is very pretty and sparkly, and is a great distraction in a boring class with a source of natural light.
My dad kind of embarrasses me about my ring. He makes me show it to people, he makes people look at it. I think he might just be really proud or something, but it is rather embarrassing, as I am a low-key person.
I never know what to say when people compliment my ring. "He did a great job" sounds so weird to me. "Thanks" alone sounds like I am being dismissive. I usually just get embarassed and say something like, "Thanks, he designed it himself." I've even apologized before since someone said it kept sparkling in her eye. Bleh.
Mine is a .35 carat single solitaire. I loved it because It was excellen quality for all the 4 C's. But one day I wen to my friends engagement party and she had a huge rock! Everyone did. I kinda freaked out inside a bit cause I didn't have any comparison for some time. I relaxed and thought about how much love went into getting that ring for me. Then a little later I had a relapse. My ring was glowing green in the UV light and everyone elses was clear. So at that point I spent hours researching why mine was green. I found out there are more than just the 4'cs to look at. I totally had no idea about it until then. Only $50 more bucks and we could have had the same excellent C's without the green UV tent.
Oh and not to mention the random fact that the next day one of my students had her science project UV light in her backpack and thought it would be fun to body check me at the star of class. (I teach communication so its all in fun when I'm with them) ^_^ She said my ring was so pretty in the light and wanted to show everyone else.
So I have a tiny glow worm. Its still love.
These are the things I worried about. I live in Manhattan and go to law school in Chelsea so there are a lot of girls rocking 2+ carat rings. However, where the wedding will be and where a lot of my friends are is rural PA where the average size for girls my age is a more reasonable .3-.8...if the guy has well off parents, maybe even a carat.
Hence I a abandoned diamonds and started looking at sapphires...I would rather not be compared to any other girl since clearly in one location or another I am going to get attention I do not want.
Having a moissanite solitaire has put me into some situations. Since moissanties have twice the fire of diamonds, people's jaws drop. I'm a 24 year old teacher (who's fi is 23,) so people assume it's a diamond that we dropped 5k for it, but they know we're just poor and starting out. Of course I told all my close friends and family it's a moissy, but people who say things like, "Whoa that's huge" or "Wow that's quite the ring," does make me wonder if they're judging me or assuming something about my values. I just laugh and say he had a little help from the grandparents (which he did.) Rural Iowa tends to have rings from .3-.75, so 1 carat sometimes causes staring. But I guess it's a nice problem to have.
I have had this happen a few times. The one time it really made me feel strange was when I was at work ( I work at a store) and I was helping a very old lady with some clothes and when she saw my ring she grabbed my hand and really loud said " wow hunny your other half sure got you a rock you better stay with that one" I didn't even know what to say lol.
They probably think they're complimenting you.
@ Lil Santos Girl. I can totally relate to you. I have even had a guy ask why my ring wasn't bigger? Can you believe that? The sad thing is my ring is not super small. It is a half carat princess cut center with another half carat in pave diamonds on the band.
When my finance' and I got engaged we were early in college and he couldn't afford a lot. Now we are very well off and i wish we would have waited, because I feel like my ring doesn't fit to our life style. People look at in and respond with "aww that's cute." It is actually embarrassing at times. I love him so much and I love the ring, but we are looking to upgrade the center diamond in the near future. Can i get some feed back on this?
It happens to me sometimes. I have a 2.5 ct ring and people, especially jealous family members, make comments about how my FI could afford it. One on my cousins even started a rumor that my FI was a drug dealer (stupid b!tch), but that's another story. I can't lie though, I love the attention when it's positive.
My sister calls my ring a monster. I love when my ring get attention. FI worked really hard to get it for me so he deserves recgonition for it.
I never realized the negative stigma even existed before being engaged- didn't know I'd be getting rude comments & was absolutely NOT prepared for it, as I was never a 'waiting' girl. I didn't focus on marriage/rings until he asked me to be his wife, honestly. Regardless, I've suffered my share of rude comments, whether they were implying it was too big or small- whatever (and I've had my share of both sides, so I have no idea who to 'relate' to, hhaaha).
So, I guess I never judged them (erings in general), don't care the carat weight/stone/ setting/ price, etc. I enjoy them ALL & how mine compares isn't an issue for me :)
If you spend any time on the ring boards, you'll know this is my fave spot on wb & I appreciate everything anyone has to contribute. I love jewelry forums (especially betterthandiamond for the freaking MOISSANITE baby), but no matter what I LOVE looking at ACTUAL erings rather than random extravagant purchases because I know they were given with a lifelong commitment promise. And that is just beautiful, to me. :)
@Hobokenbride2012: Haven't seen your lovely (I don't think)- please post!! It sounds amazing!
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