(Closed) Anyone had this problem?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 4
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Let me tell you- and from the other side (not yet married) that I am a career oriented gal, BUT I work with pediatrics… making the baby-making-nonsense NON-STOP. At work they always ask how old my kids are…. “um none yet” is my reply. Then I site that I’m getting married, and they’re like “So we’ll see a lil one on the way then?” and I’m like…. “noooo.” Uh, sigh. I want to wait at least 3 years logically. But I dunno if I can handle all my adorable babies/kids at work!

Post # 5
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

Maybe it would help to reiterate the reasons you know you’re not ready yet.  Like talk to someone about the challanges of finishing grad school and caring for a baby.  Or spend some time babysitting – where you feel a little relief when you hand them back and get to go home and relax and sleep ๐Ÿ™‚

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all about babies and have wanted to be a mom for FOREVER.  But their is the reality that it’s a lot of work, and non-stop, life-changing and expensive.  So there are valid reasons couples put this on hold ๐Ÿ™‚

I’m 31 – have been working for 9 years, owned a house for 4, married for 3, financially stable… etc etc.  In reality had we gotten pregnant right after the wedding everything would have been fine… we were ‘ready’ in many ways.  But we chose to wait because we wanted to adjust to being married, we wanted to travel a bit, and just because.  Let me tell you the last year was hard for me… By the time we hit our ‘TTC’ plan I was so ready to have the baby in hand ๐Ÿ™‚  (plus lots of friends were having babies!) But you know – I wouldn’t change anything about life so far – I’ve loved these 3 baby-free years with my hubby.

Post # 6
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

And I’m in Pediatrics too, but also waited until I was ready…  I wanted to make sure my maturity, earning potential and relationship were all in line with “baby-readiness”.

I had tons of external pressures on me, but I have to say in hindsight, I’m so glad I’ve waited.  No one has to live with your choices except you, so you have to make sure you are making the best one for your life!

Post # 7
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I would still discuss this with your hubby.  If it was me, I’d say something like, “don’t worry, logically I know that we aren’t read for a baby yet, BUT sometimes I still get the urge to have one.”  Then, see how he reacts.  If you are confident in waiting, it’s OK to communicate the desire.  Like, lots of us WANT to go buy a fancy car or take a fancy trip, but we know we aren’t really financially ready, and we hold off.  Desire to have a baby doesn’t equal intent to have one, so I’d just be honest with him.

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