Post # 1
Well here is the deal. BF is in the navy and we plan to wed soon. Civil service style. We would just wait to get married next year yet financially we would benefit so much more from the navy if we were married now. During the next year we plan to save for our nice ceremony.
Anyone have a civil ceremony first and then their ideal wedding later? Did you actually go through with the plans? I’m afraid that after we save we will just both decide to use the money on a down payment for a house or something big like that.
advice? stories? input? gimmie gimmie lol!
Post # 3
Ohhh, I really am afraid of this happening if me and my fiance decide to do a civil ceremony. Well not afraid, but still I think if we do go through with the civil ceremony we will have to try really hard to not act married otherwise I think putting off the wedding for something else gets easier and easier.
P.S. My fiance is in the Army, so that is why we are considering it too.
Post # 4
Look at it this way: if you marry now because you’re ready, will it matter what happens down the road?
We’re constantly reevaluating our priorities, so if right now you want something expensive in 2-3 years, but once you’ve got the cash in hand, you very well might change your mind. A house might be more rewarding and practical at that point. You might feel like you’re splurging too much on a bigger wedding. Does that make your marriage less real? No. If you decide to throw a big party later, does that mean your actual wedding is less meaningful? No. Is it a waste of money? You’ll have to see where you are at that time.
My advice, take it or leave it, is to have a ceremony now and be sure to include anyone who is important to you. Then save what you can. If it’s in 2 years or 5 years, think about whether you want to have a bigger party.
Post # 5
We’re getting married in January for health insurance/taxes/etc.. and have the full on ceremony scheduled for March, so in our case not having the ceremony means we’ll lose some deposits!
I think whether or not you go through with the second one will also depend on what you want out of your wedding day and what exactly you do at the civil ceremony. If you really want a fancy wedding day you’ll probably still want a ceremony, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a house or something more practical instead. And you can always do a vow renewal a few years down the road instead of a ceremony.
Post # 6
I have two friends who recently had civil ceremonies. One to benefit from the Air Force financially/benefits/blah blah blah, and the other because London wouldn’t let her into the country because she wasn’t married to her bf at the time (they were planning on getting married anyway).
That said, they are both planning on having real weddings in the future, it just wasn’t feasible to do right now.
As for myself, we are planning on a civil ceremony as soon as on of us can find a full time job so we can both have benefits. Our wedding is in January, so it’s happening whether we like it or not.
I think the key to this is to tell youself that the civil ceremony is just for financial reasons and that is pretty much the extent of it. I’m not going to consider us officially married until it’s done in a church surrounded by the ones I love.
Post # 7
For many logistical reasons (mainly having to do with us being from opposite ends of the planet) we can’t possibly have our ideal wedding but we are doing a wedding even though we already had a civil ceremony. but we’ve not told everyone and we are saving certain things like exchanging rings, for the bigger wedding we are planning down the road.
We are actually kind of excited that we get two weddings – the civil ceremony was so much nicer and more romantic that we thought – and we did need to do it for pratical reasons.