Anyone have a friend(s) like this? and advice on dealing with it.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

freshflowers:  I have a few friends like this and they drive me a little bit insane. It makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong because I got married. 

Sometimes it just takes an honest sit down conversation. I had to tell one of my friends that the way she was acting actually hurt my feelings even though I knew that wasn’t her intention. Then I actually did lay it out for her that eventually she was going to find someone wonderful because she’s smart and successful and beautiful, but she was trying way too hard to make love happen and she needed to stop looking for Mr. Right for awhile. She actually took it really well and even though she still says things like “it’ll be another 10 years before I have kids!” It’s not nearly as often now. 

Post # 3
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

freshflowers:  I was that person for a long time.

After a particularly bad breakup with someone who was absolutely wrong for me, one of my guy friends who is happily married struck up a conversation with me asking me what I wanted in a relationship. What kind of man I thought that I’d love, and what the characteristics are in men that I admire and get along with. I still remember this conversation as being the first time I really just sat back and realized that the men I was dating and tended to date were the complete opposite of the kind of man who’d be able to fulfill my needs in a partner.

I didn’t change overnight, but I started just living my life for me. Eventually, the right guy and I crossed paths at the right time. The rest is history.

You may need to sit down and have a conversation with her about why getting married is so important to her, what her ideal mate would be and what her needs are in a partner. It sounds stupid, but that first question of why getting married is so important actually helped me to realize what it was that I was searching for, and not finding in the wrong places.

Post # 4
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

My best friend dealt with a horrible break up with the man she thought she was going to marry shortly after I got back from my honeymoon. Ever since then it’s, “I’m done with men. I’ll never get married, etc.” I don’t know what to say to her. So I feel you. Every once in a while she’ll say, IF she gets married. A small glimmer of hope from me. She tends to be quite dramatic sometimes.

Post # 5
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee

One of my bridesmaids is EXACTLY like this! I know she doesnt mean for it to come accross this way but at a certain point it starts making me feel guilty for finding my own happiness and trying to share it with her– which is getting old very quickly. I’m still not sure how to handle it myself so I’m following to see what the rest of y’all have to say.

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