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everything's just sorta... happening. since day 1 we both knew we were going to get married, we bought 'promise rings' on our first valentine's together... and now, 5 years later, I know exactly when he's going to propose next year, and we've discussed getting married on 12/12/12.
I'm a little wistful that nothing's a surprise, but also happy to be on top of things, haha. anyone else have my experience? it's just kind of hard to be surprised when you've been together so long, and you just KNOW it's gonna happen. and even when. haha.
Why do you have the actual engagement planned out? Why don't you tell him to surprise you!?! My FI and I talked a lot about it, and I kind of had an idea that he had or was in the process of buying a ring, but I had no idead when or how he was going to propose and I was suprised and excited when it did happen! :)
I knew the engagement was coming eventually--I had just picked out the ring. I honestly thought he was going to wait about six months because he kept telling me that to get me off his scent! The day he proposed I was actually moping because I thought he wasn't proposing for at least six months... little did I know he had the ring and was planning to propose! So while it wasn't a HUGE surprise, it was a little one, and that was nice.
I agree with the PP, ask him to surprise you, at least a little bit!
I knew my engagement was coming. He told me he had the ring and then we had planned a vacation not too long after that. I knew that he would think proposing on vacation would be romantic/sweet, and that's what he did. I was still super happy to get the ring! Plus, we used our vacation to celebrate.
I booked the venue before he proposed, that's how much I knew it was coming! lol I had him narrowed down to a month time frame, because he had previously expressed wanting to be engaged before he met my extended family. Unfortunately I made the mistake of telling him I had booked the venue and the he started bugging me to talk to his mom about the wedding etc even though we weren't engaged yet. He didn't understand what difference it made and continually made the argument "But you know I have the ring and am going to propose, why not?" One night when we were in the car "arguing" about it and I was pretty upset and he decided to just give me the ring then, first saying "This is what I'm going to remember of us getting engaged, so do you want me to just give you the ring now?" (That's sounds way more hostel then it was, he was very light heated about it) So he gave me the ring and then made me promise to give it back to him for the 'surprise' proposal in Disneyworld. I didn't know what day that we were in Disneyworld he would propose, so that part was a surprise! lol
I picked out my ring and my DH gave me a timeline of when the proposal was going to happen. I was off on the date by 6 days...haha.
I knew mine was coming...we had a timeline. We started dating August 2008 and around December 2008 we were discussing marriage. We went ring searching in January 2009 and we decided we were going to get married in August 2012. A year or so later we discussed a timeline. We wanted to get married in Michigan where we met and worked for half a year. I told him I wanted STDs out over a year in advance (preferably 13-14 months in advance, so June or July 2011), so we needed to have our engagement pictures done by May 2011. He bought the ring in August 2010..well actually we had it custom made from a Jeweler and I was the one responding to her via email telling her exactly what I wanted so I got what I wanted because he tends to look over the details. In September 2010 I was living in Pennsylvania and he was Michigan finishing his last semester at college. He came home for Christmas.
I had ground rules (I'm a bit of a control freak). I did not want a holiday or near holiday engagement or at a family event, so that left out January because its around the holidays and February for the 4th of July. My birthday was in March and he had mentioned before how he "cant just do an engagement at a waterfall because" I wanted him to make it significant, so its harder. (I'M OBSESSED WITH WATERFALLS!!!) Well for my Birthday we planned to go hiking to some waterfalls (right then and there because he previously mentioned it I knew right away I was going to get engaged. In fact I told my supervisor that tomorrow I'm gonna come into work with an engagement ring hahahaha). Sure enough, the second waterfall we went to he was down on his knee proposing. It's really hard to act surprised when you aren't surprised. hah
We also already had our venue booked and our wedding photographer.
I got my non-suprise a few days ago and it was great! Despite i picked my ring and we agreed on the timeline and month, I didn't know the day and when he did do it I was still excited and so was he....I think you will be happy no matter what if you give him a little extra wiggle room to do it :)
@ashleyyyg: haha, I'm the one corresponding with our ringmaker too! xD I dunno, it just turned out like that. at least he had some input too, though it was mainly my design.
thanks all you ladies who took the time to share your experience! unfortunately Feb 29, 2012 is the perfect day to get engaged, and we both know it. haha... rats! I'm way more into numbers than him, so I can't help thinking about specific dates. and then I tell him, and he agrees... oh well, I ought to just be glad we're getting engaged soon! xD just sucks a little that I know all the details down to the exact date!
I knew it was coming. I found the ring box in his pants when I was doing laundry (silly DH) but I didn't open it. I knew the day he was going to propose about two weeks beforehand, because boyfriend can't keep a secret from me. He tried to tell me the details, to make sure I'd like it, but I stuck my fingers in my ears and sang. I wanted some element of surprise to it.
@Mrs Sarah McK: lol! that's very cute. how did he end up proposing, and did it surprise you somewhat?
I picked out my ring (they held it at the counter at Zales), FI went in after work that same day, purchased it and then proposed that night before we went to bed. ;)
@patchy: It was July 4th last year, and he took me to Longwood Gardens and proposed to me on a trail in the woods, when we were completely alone. It was funny, because since I knew he was planning it that day, any time he stopped us to look at anything, I thought that was the moment.
When he actually did it, I had been so distracted by the way the light was coming in through the trees that it caught me guard when he tugged my hand. I turned around and he was on his knee. Later that day we drove down to DC, had lunch, and went to watch the fireworks show on the National Mall.
I'm definitely the planner in our relationship, so him planning ANYTHING at all was a surprise to me. I was kind of expecting to be proposed to in bed, lol. And he planned all things that I love...gardens, wooded trails, Mexican food, and fireworks.
He didn't ask me - we just had a conversation and then we were engaged. It was odd, but it fit.
Later on I said, "well, you have to ask me" and then he asked me, but I still felt disappointed that we didn't have a story per se.
Now I think the whole year since then has been our story. We didn't get a ring back when we got engaged (after Christmas 2010) because we were in different states and I didn't want the expense of a ring to keep him away from me longer.
Then he moved in, and I suspected a ring would come soon...and then our home came crashing down and it took months to repair.
Then after he bought the ring and it was en route - he was shipped off for work!
It's an amusing tale, but more than that, I like it because we don't need a ring. I have one now (I inadvertantly signed for it - it came just before he left), but we have been just as engaged and as committed without the romantic storybook proposal. (And secretly I wonder whether it's like New Year's, whether everyone wonders whether there's a better _______ happening somewhere else.)
And besides...isn't that what the wedding is for? THAT'LL be the most romantic day of your life!
I knew we were going to get engaged. I didn't know the exact day, but we went on a vacation and I knew it was going to happen on the vacation. I didn't know exactly how he was going to propose, so that was a wonderful surprise but I knew it was going to happen. He had the ring made while he was abroad and actually, the ring arrived at our apartment before he got home (he came home probably 3 days later). I knew what it was but I just put it in the top of our closet so I wouldnt be tempted to look at it (even though I had a big part in designing it, so I knew what it looked like) :P But no, it wasnt a surprise - I knew we were going to get engaged.
well, after reading everything, I told him 'are you gonna make it a surprise? doesn't have to be on that date...' and he replied, 'stop talking about it, you're ruining it for yourself!' lol. so NOW I'm thinking the feb29 date is either to fool me, or he'll actually plan something more than just dinner--and in a way I guess I am ruining it for myself. lol! darn overthinking!!
@misskarianne: well that's certainly progressive and to-the-point! hehe, I might not mind that either, waiting sucks!
@Mrs Sarah McK: that sounds great! and now every anniversary you can see fireworks, yay!
@zagora: I think we had that conversation ages ago too, but I refused to accept it without a ring/plans to get married, so 5 years later... here we are. it's true though, stories come from the least likely places!
@RhubarbPie: oooh that must've been a lot of temptation. 3 days!!!! I couldn't do it. xD
sounds like everyone is pretty happy with how things turned out, even if it wasn't a picture-perfect surprise complete with sobbing fiancee and relieved-she-said-yes fiance. ;D
@patchy: Your path is not that of someone who has not taken the time to curate a relationship. Who cares if its not a surprise? Dont let expectations gleaned from movies make you think it has to be shocking to be wonderful. (Hey my sister swallowed her ring-NOT fun!) I will also tell you I've a friend who always had a "childhood wish" to be engaged under the Eiffel Tower...so when finally her 5 year boyfriend and she finished law school and went to Paris together and had reservations for dinner AND on that night he ordered a limousine...C'mon her story about it being "a surprise" was nauseating. Everyone was privately mocking her for such artifice. If you two, who have built a solid relationship get engaged even over the phone...that can be a beautiful moment.
If you want some magic...make him a cake the morning after and say its our first day engaged celebration--I'm sure you will continue to surprise each other with delightful ways to show your love--which frankly, is all its about. Congrats IN ADVANCE!
I didn't even have a proposal. We had talked about getting married, I mostly worked with the jeweler on the ring, we picked it up together and as we were walking to the car, he asked me if I wanted to put it on. I did and when we got home, he put his on and we fist bumped. It's been 2 weeks and we are so freaking happy. We're going to do a nice dinner eventually but it's not really a priority.
No surprise here either! We were engaged without the ring/question being asked (that sounds strange but it makes sense in my head) and I told him for my birthday I wanted a ring. I picked it out and we ordered it together. So of course, I knew it was coming on my birthday. Worked for us. Of course, having some fabulous/thoughtful/sweet story to tell would be nice but it wouldn't really be us.
@ patchy: I'm also the one in correspondence with our jeweler, but that's because SO wants me to be completely satisfied with what I get.
Regarding your "just sucks a little that I know all the details down to the exact date!" - Don't nail down the date! You've already got everything in order, and if you really do want a surprise, tell him to dismiss the day you said. In my mind, there's not really a "perfect" day to propose - he could come home tonight and do it and I'd be stoked.
I also tend to over-think, and I feel like me talking about when I'd ideally want to get married has kind of influenced when he's going to propose, but I also know it's something he does want to do.
Maybe if you stop mentioning it (and tell him not to worry about the February engagement date), he'll actually propose sooner!
Not sure if any of my ideas are "you" though - which is also fine :)
@ patchy: I'm also the one in correspondence with our jeweler, but that's because SO wants me to be completely satisfied with what I get.
Regarding your "just sucks a little that I know all the details down to the exact date!" - Don't nail down the date! You've already got everything in order, and if you really do want a surprise, tell him to dismiss the day you said. In my mind, there's not really a "perfect" day to propose - he could come home tonight and do it and I'd be stoked.
I also tend to over-think, and I feel like me talking about when I'd ideally want to get married has kind of influenced when he's going to propose, but I also know it's something he does want to do. But I'm really trying to take a back-seat because I don't want to look back and think that things happened because of me pushing the topic... you know? (Although he wants to do it, I want him to do it when he really wants to.)
Maybe if you stop mentioning it (and tell him not to worry about the February engagement date), he'll actually propose sooner!
Not sure if any of my ideas are "you", though - which is also fine :)
I knew that FI was going to propose. We even picked out the right together and I was there when we brought it home, but it didnt take anything away from how special that moment was to both of us!!
I knew exactly when and how he was going to propose. I had gone with him and picked out a ring a few weeks ahead of time so I knew it was soon, and was 95% sure he would ask on our anniversary. Two days later, I was vacuuming, lifted a pile of papers off the floor to vacuum and saw the receipt for the ring. Then I became 100% convinced I was right about the when. I figured out the how a little before that, and became 100% sure on that pretty quickly. He tried to make it a surprise, but well, he's not very good at secret-keeping and I can read him well! I knew the day, time, and method...but the surprise was not important to me AT ALL. Frankly, it was important to him, so I decided to just pretend I was surprised (this is one secret I am perfectly fine keeping from him). He still gushes about how great the proposal was (it was really darn cute) and how surprised I was. I was just totally thrilled we were getting engaged after 7 years!
A proposal is a proposal...mine wasn't a surprise at all, we planned it together and I picked out the ring and I knew it was going to happen just not the exact day - though as soon as I walked in our house the day he did it, I knew it was THE day.
Surprises don't change the end result - some girls like the big surprise and if you get one, that's awesome. Others just find the right guy, know it's the right time and get on with it.
I didn't have the whole elaborate surprise with me bursting into tears and my FI being all relieved not knowing if I was going to say yes or not but it was still lovely and special and the most important part is that we love each other and are going to spend the rest of our lives together.
aww, thanks for everyone's less-traditional stories! yeah... I think after the 2-year mark, I wouldn't have been surprised no matter how he asked. and even from the beginning, BEFORE we started dating, he casually proclaimed we'd get married. xD
I'll definitely be back to update on how the proposal went, soo happy to find this forum where I can gush about all this STUFF. my friends aren't quite in this stage yet, so it'd sicken them if I were to really lay it on them. hahaha
@ju1244: that's a really, really good idea. about the cake. except I can't bake. but I'll let him prepare the surprise for the 29th, and I'll prepare some sort of surprise for the day after! at first, since I knew the date too, I was thinking of making him a ring (metalsmithing workshop nearby!) and presenting it to him when he proposed, but might take away some of his 'shine'. the day after... hmmhmm yes very good! I shall ponder on it.
It's not hard to to suprise someone after that long. My FI were together 5 1/2 years before we get engaged and all i knew was before 2012. I couldve been anywhere between August 2011-December 31st at midnight. He finally proposed Oct 15th 2011 on sweetest day and it was a complete suprise i had no idea he even had the ring!
No surprise here! I don't think there's anything wrong with that. We were together for 5 years as well. We'd known, had bought a house, etc., I even picked up my ring from the jeweler for him ;) It may not have been a surprise, but it was exactly right for US. We have a solid relationship/marriage and I'd rather have that than some crazy proposal story :) The day he got down on his knee to give me the ring (he did do that part, but it was NOOOO surprise) he actually said before we went to dinner "Hon...I don't know what to do, the box won't fit in my pocket" LOL!!!
ETA: He "officially" proposed in May, I had bought my dress in September and we'd booked our reception site in December. No surprise there, but again, it was what was right for us. We knew we were going to get married and we're so very happy.
my fiance and i have been together 9 years so of course we both knew we were going to get married and had talked about when it would be. i even went with him to pick out the ring i wanted ;)
once i knew he had it i tried my best not to bug him about it because i wanted to salvage some semblance of a normal proposal with the element of surprise... our anniversary came and went in september without a proposal so i honestly thought he was waiting for christmas and didn't think about it anymore.
the night of my company halloween party there was a moment where i suddenly realized he was on stage with the band... it only took a minute to figure out he was about to propose to me in front of all these people! definitely not how i imagined it or what i would've thought he'd do, but i guess that's what made it such a good surprise :)
congrats to all you ladies who were surprised or not, just being engaged is so exciting!
Non-surprising but surprising all at once. We where unofficially engaged since last September, and where ring shopping for a good year after that.
There where some bumps, and an almost breakup. We though love each other deeply, and I realized he really is one of the things I want in my life.
He proposed unofficially over skype. That is the proposal he likes to say anyway. I liked the ring shopping and deciding to create my engagement ring, when that ring came, that was when it became official. No on the knees. I told him we where already engaged, he didnt' need to do it.
In a way I feel like I proposed to him too. I asked him if he wouldnt' mind hyphenating his name with mine and I would do the same. The yes was so amazing. So he got me to say yes, I asked him to hypheante our names, and he said yes. And then the ring shopping. That is my story and I'm sticking to it. I just love it all. But I am so excited to be married.
Only a couple months away. Hey maybe I should start counting in weeks now. That would be 7.
My hubby never proposed. We just decided to get married and got married. Later (after we were married), he bought me a ring so people would stop asking me where the ring was.
@patchy: We knew we want a future together early on and had several discussions along the way. It was just a matter of when he'll pop the question. The actual proposal was a complete surprise though.
I am going to get engaged between the 17th and 23rd of December! I know where we are going and we are in the process of designing my ring and I really dont care that it isnt a surprise as I hate not knowing things! Plus, he couldnt wait to tell me where he was taking me! cant wait!!!!
I designed my ring myself, and I know that the proposal is happening some time this winter, but even that is too much of a surprise! Like many of the previous posters, I don't like surprises. I don't ever feel like I'm "ruining" surprises by finding out - I'm just making sure I'm in on all the action!
We picked out the ring together and he told me it would happen during the winter sometime. I'm glad it's not a total surprise, but then I wouldn't mind knowing a bit more ;)
patchy curiosity sake if you want to get married 12/12/12 you're going to get married on a Wednesday? The only reason I asked is that SO and I looked at that date but I told him no as it was a Wednesday. In answer to your question, I don't know that my engagement will be a total surprise as I know he has the ring so I'm expecting it at anytime (realistically it may be a little while yet, but I know its coming). Good luck!
I know the propsal will be coming in next week or so. My guy and I had casually discussed marriage for a while. Then we had a serious talk about it and decided it was time. I picked out my ring and was there when he ordered it. We've already decided to share the big news with our families at Thanksgiving. There is only a 2 or 3 day window between the time the ring should be in and the holiday so it won't be much of a surprise.
The plan was for me to pick out a few different rings that I like and he was supposed to choose from those so there would at least be a little surprise to it but once we started looking, it was obvious that we both had the same favorite so he went ahead and ordered it with me there.
I'm a little bummed that there won't be any surprises. Of course, the fact that there is a Tiffany Novo replica on its way makes me feel a bit better about that!! Regardless, I'm trying to keep things in perspective and focus on the important part! We're getting married!
^congrats! I have to wait a few MONTHS for my ring to be made/shipped, I am sooo antsy/excited. actually I don't care that it's not a surprise anymore, I'm sure it'll still be AWESOME. ;D
@happy2bee: well I don't really care about making it convenient, I'm sure whichever date I pick the ones who matter will show up. :) I'm the youngest and only girl in the family, so everyone spoils me rotten hahaha
WELL! Just heard this from a girlfriend, her boyfriend of short duration said, "Listen, I love you, I want to make a life with you, my whole family loves you, what do you say?"
Mine wasn't a surprise either! We've been togehter 4 and a half years and have been talking about marriage for a while now. We decided together that the time is right, and we went to the jewelry store and picked out the ring together! Now I am anxiously waiting for it to get here in 4-6 weeks. In the meantime, we've booked our venue! :)
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