Post # 1
My bf just left me a really long voicemail about how I need to stop picking fights with him all the time “or else nothing is ever going to happen..” NOT that anything is happening anytime soon anyway, but.. I know there’s nothing I can do or say that’s going to make him magically want to propose all of a sudden.. Having to move on with the rest of my life in all OTHER AREAS of my life is really hard!!! But I guess I’m facing up to the fact that more and more that that seems to be the only answer. I wish it wasn’t this way. But I guess I have to accept that fact!
I guess I’m constantly fighting with him about it indirectly. But I really need to stop now. I may even need to just stop calling him if I feel like I’m going to fight! Maybe I should lay low for a few days or more!!!! Focus on myself and my job for now!!
Any advice would be appreciated. And thanks for letting me vent!!!!
Post # 3
Whenever you feel like picking a fight, come one here and vent! I tend to pick fights every once and awhile as well. I know we’re in a tough situation, but he’s right. We all need to shut it up for a bit!
Post # 4
Why are you picking fights? Some possibilities–
Feel out of control with your life, so fighting makes you feel in control of something.
Pissed at SO because he is making you wait, so you are punishing him or making him feel how pissed you are.
Think that by pushing you will get what you want.
So you either have to learn that sometimes you are in control of you life and let it go, or take control and propose to SO yourself.
Or you have to comes to terms with your anger and quit venting every where. Stop focusing on all the one thing he isn’t doing and focus on all the wonderful traits he does have. You homework is to make a list of 3-5 things about your SO that he did or said that was good, every day.
Post # 5
@lepetitebee: If the fight you are starting is really about a insecurity in your life – such as a general pressure to get married from friends, family, society, or a general anxiety about being single — then don’t make it a fight. Count to ten. Go to the bathroom and breathe deep breaths or brush your teeth or reapply lipstick. Anything to stop instigating a fight your FI has no responsibility in. And then don’t do it. Every time you don’t nit pick or make a snide comment it will become easier to not give in to that impulse.