Anyone have any regrets from eloping/ having a tiny wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My only true regret about eloping is that we didn’t do a first look photoshoot. Seeing other people’s first look pictures always gets to me, and they make me wish I had shared that sort of moment with my husband.

If you’re having a tiny wedding, you can still do that!


Post # 4
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

My husband and I eloped a few weeks back. Our day was lovely! Our friend married us, and another who is a photographer took pictures. I even bought a tiny cake at whole foods market and got an adoreable cake topper. You can check out some pictures from our day here if you want:

I am a tiny bit sad to not of had our loved ones there, but we couldn’t justify having some people there and not others. We also wanted to get married sooner rather than later.

We are considering hosting a brunch at home for our friends, and my MIL may throw a party for my husbands side of the family.

I’m not sure if I would change things or not. We were considering getting married in the garden of his parents home in southern california, which would of been a ‘destination wedding’ for just about everyone (and would of cut down on the guest list/expense). But even then, I think the cost might of gotten out of hand (we are having a hard time financially right now because I am chronically ill and don’t work).

I am glad to not of had all the stress and expectations.


Post # 5
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

Oh, and I still had the ring, the dress, the flowers, the photographer, the cake, the mini-moon, the announcements, a lot of praise and most importantly MY HUSBAND!

Post # 6
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think the biggest thing you need to know when you elope is that… when you tell people afterwards, they will be suprised, off-guard, in disbelief, disappointed there won’t be a huge party lol people take this wedding stuff personally even when it’s NOT their wedding! It’s ridiculous! You’ll be expecting them to be excited and happy for you, but it won’t be all the bells&whistles you hope for b/c one of the reasons I mentioned above 🙁 And forget about cards or presents, without a wedding you’ll get none of those.


Post # 7
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Gabthebee:  So I have been married twice.  Both times were elopements (drastically different – like go to the courthouse and back to work versus full on destination elopement with dress, cake, photographer in a different country!).  I highly recommend the latter.

With both marriages, my family never met my ILs.  Isn’t that odd?  And they are all in the US – not like two different countries!  I was sad it happene again this time – although I think it has more to do with my odd, disinterested family more than me!  I am the one who changed, my family remained the same sadly.

However, due to logistics, lack of interest, people not wanting to travel – we came to realize that there are other options that can be equally as amazing.  Plan B was actually better than our Plan A (which was supposed to be just the families but alas that did not work out).

I do not regret eloping.  Sure I may be miffed at my family again, but the way we did we do not regret!  We made it very spectacular and special (got married while on vacation).  It was truly us, not one drop of stress.  Plus we got to have it in a location that would never have been conducive for our families and we got spectacular photos and memories.  Imagine not having to worry about any other people on your special day – only having to focus on the two of you!  That was a real treat! 

Ours was not a secret.  We told people – actually it was more like, “OK, you all have excuses as to why you cannot travel; we are jsut going to go away then.”  I know a lot of people have dissidence from family members, but we were really free to do whatever without any flack from anyone.  Actually, I think they all prefered that we would just go off somewhere and get them out of having to travel!  LOL  We did them a favor.


Post # 8
38 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

No regrets. Two months later we still sit and dreamily discuss how romantic and fabulous it was. 

Post # 9
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@secretwife:  +1 


You would be surprised by the reactions you will get. My intention was the elope and tell only a small group of people but then have a big party later… but word got out. So many people were “hurt” that I let them find out via social media (I had asked those who were able to attend not to post anything, but in this day and age, you can’t prevent it)… My only regret is that we weren’t able to have everyone we love there with us. 

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