(Closed) Anyone have irrational fears about future child-rearing?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am with you there…I got shivers reading your post.  Daddy is going to have to handle the tooth thing!

I am afraid of my kids being bullied, esp. with all this new cyber-bullying stuff.  It really can affect the victim for the rest of their lives.  I am hoping more laws are in place to prevevnt bullying by the time my kiddie goes to school.  I am not pregnant yet, so we have a few years before they start school!

And KNEES!  Knees freak me out.  I cannot touch them or have mine touched.  If my child gets a scraped knee, oh man, I don’t know…Something about the “knee cap” freaks me out bad.

 

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I dont think any fears about future parenting are that irrational actually.  The loose tooth thing makes me cringe, so Im with ya there.  Ugh <shudder>  I have a lot of fears about it, but thats normal 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have many fears about parenting. It’s a huge issue for me now. I worry about bullying alot since I was a major victim. I also wory about stuff for my kids since we can’t afford to live in neighborhoods with good schools and I worry about being able to provide the material things that would keep some of the picking down, like the right jeans, shoes etc. I got picked a lot for my clothes, my mom was a tom boy and wore a uniform to work so she really didn’t understand. He idea of shoppong was to just buy stuff that fits from sears and not to bargain hunt for the popular stuff at sales or Marshall’s, T.J. Maxx etc.

We are not poor by means just not nearly as affulent as the most of the rest of suburban Washington, D.C. My husband screwed up and bought at the height of the market so we are underwater in a condo that’s unsuitable for a family. I sold my condo and made a profit but it’s not nearly enough to fix his mistake.

 

Post # 6
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think those fears are irrational, haha! 

Mine probably is – I’m afraid of turning into my own mother. Living with her definitely brought out the worst in me. I’m not a very emotional person, but we’d have knock-down, drag-out screaming & crying matches often. She always fought dirty “but you don’t love me!” and so I really want to raise my children to think logically and be respectful. 

Post # 7
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Before my oldest was born, I was mostly worried that I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with a child and that I would be too selfish. I really truthfully believe that the motherly nurturing instinct really kicks in and will lead you in the right direction. 

The teeth thing made me laugh bc I was kinda’ grossed out by it too, but when it’s your own kid and you’ve become immune to having bodily fluids being part of your wardrobe, it doesn’t seem so bad!! My oldest daughter swallowed her first two teeth that came out. My younger daughter is desperate to have a loose tooth, so she makes me check every day. She’s so excited about it, and that makes me excited!!

My irrational fear was probably socks. I was overwhelmed with the thought of baby socks ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! I’m the second oldest of six kids, and I remember one of our chores was mating socks, and those damn baby socks were such a huge pain in the ass. I told my family that they were forbidden from getting me socks for my daughter. So, now it’s a big joke and my sister always gets my kids socks.

I should have been scared of laundry, bc it gets ridiculous how much laundry you do.

Post # 8
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I too have a fear of not being patient with my DD. I find that my patience runs thin when I am around my niece and nephew while they are hyper and running around like crazy. I know things will be different as my kids will be raised in an entirely different home environment but I can’t get it out of my head that I will be frustrated a lot.

My other fear involves my disabled FIL. He loves kids and wants to help out but we don’t want him to. Only for the fear of  him accidentally dropping her or not supporting her head. He can’t even stand up straight himself and his right leg is weaker, not to mention that he barely has any mobility in his right arm. I’m afraid that when she is crying at night, he is going to to her nursery to help soothe her by trying to pick her up. This is something that the hubs and I have to address closer to the time.

Also, I have a fear that my FIL will try to discipline my children. This is a HUGE no-no for me because of his past life (I rather not discuss but I am sure you can imagine). I don’t want him even thinking about saying anything to my children. He had his chance with his boys and for the most part gave them important advice but never disciplined them correctly.

So in short, your fears are not irrational at all or at least not to me.

Post # 9
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

My not-irrational (i don’t think) fear about having kids is what it will do to my marriage. I want to make sure that I don’t become one of those all-about-the-kids moms who totally ignores my husband. I want us to still be fun and be all about each other. 

My more-irrational fear is not so much about the raising kids but about the HAVING kids. I’ve always been kind of a hypochondriac and sometimes I just get this feeling like being pregnant/having a baby might actually kill me or something– like a disease. Its kind of crazy. I should really stop watching housing/greys anatomy/private practice/er reruns. Pregnancy seems to have a 30% mortality rate in those shows!

Post # 10
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Roddy…that’s a good point you bring up about grandparents disciplining kids THEIR way versus the way we’ve chosen. My dad is a big, loud bear of a man and when he yells, he just doesn’t realize how damn scary he is to a little kid. My girls adore their Grandpa, but when he tries to discipline them or says, “I’ll paddle your butt!” I lose my mind. I have fought with him soooo many times because of this and there is no end in sight. He also thinks he’s the last authority on parenting. And, lucky me, my older daughter, who’s autistic, is the favorite grandchild, so now he thinks he’s the authority on parenting an autistic child. It’s exhausting. Sorry, didn’t mean to hi-jack the thread.

Post # 11
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

Losing teeth? Nah. I get it, but its really an exciting time for kids. From a younger colleague,I was kind of shocked at how much the tooth fairy in her house gives out! We did a dollar a tooth,but her kids get $20.! Inflation,I guess.

My biggest fear was potty training. We were away on a short trip,and my Mom & Dad had our daughter for the week. My Mom did all the training for me,so it was wonderful. She was 26 months old and we got lucky. Our second daughter was a different story. 28 pairs of panties in one week,and I thought I would go crazy. She was way more challenging,and a little over 3 before she finally got it. lol

Post # 12
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

CorgiTales,

I totally get both you points, especially number one.  ALso, I do worry what pregnancy and no-sleep with an infant will do to my body especially since I struggle with Hypothyroidism.

I also fear the cost of childcare and finding good childcare.

Post # 13
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh, I have another one that R and I talk about often!

We’re both vegetarians. We don’t want to force our kids into it, but don’t plan to feed them meat. We’re very into the health aspect of it, so they WILL get all their nutrients. 

But you can’t guarantee they won’t be fed meat somewhere else. I know that when I accidentally ate pork a few years ago (someone thought it was a tofu egg roll, it wasn’t.) it made me really, really sick. So I’m a bit worried that our poor kids will end up sick to their stomach somewhere and we don’t know how to handle that. 

Ditto with our atheism… we plan to teach our kids to be freethinkers rather than outright atheists. We want them to think critically and look at the evidence, but our mothers and extended family are very religious. We’re fine with them being exposed with that, but I assume it will be damaging to be told their parents are going to hell. 

Post # 14
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

I’m secretly worried that we will have a kid that grows up to be some kind of evil genius, the kind you always wonder, wow what kind of parents did that guy have growing up, and we would be those parents.

Post # 15
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m definitely more afraid of birthing the children than raising them.  My biggest fear is pooping on my kid!  I don’t want to poop while I’m trying to push them out!  It freaks me out!

Post # 16
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am really scared about the underage drinking and drugs that my future kids will be around. How I would want them to take drug tests but not hate me for it. Its like I know I should trust them, but they are kids. I know you couldn’t trust me as a kid, and can’t really trust kids in general. I don’t want to be hated, but I don’t want my kid to dabble in drugs or underage drinking. I know its not a irrational fear, but them hating me b/c I want them to take a drug test. BAH…

The topic ‘Anyone have irrational fears about future child-rearing?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors