Post # 1
I’ve only had this happen to me once, because I was excited and stupidly revealed how much I was hoping to do my wedding for (ceremony & reception, decorations, dress… all that jazz. Not honeymoon, though). FI and I are paying for this shindig mostly on our own – we’ve got some contributions from parents and grandparents to offset costs, but I did up my budget on the assumption that we would be doing this all on our own. I was in the lunchroom talking about it and a co-worker laughed at me and said, “Oh, sweetie, there’s no way you’re going to be able to do a wedding on that budget.”
Um… excuse you? You don’t know me. You don’t know my tastes. You don’t know that I inherited my dad’s frugal gene (some would say cheap). I’m really crafty when I’m not being lazy – my apartment is currently being invaded by paper flowers in various states of togetherness. I ran the numbers before I came up with my budget – it wasn’t just a number I pulled out of my ass.
If she hadn’t been fired and our guest list fairly limited (I wanted 80, I think with plus ones (or plus two in one case – someone FI’s mom wanted us to invite) we’re at 86) I almost wanted to invite her and show her my spreadsheet with all of the estimates and actual expenditures.
So, anyone else?
Post # 3
@angeluscado: fuck the haters, man- they exist no matter what. We have the opposite situation- our wedding is very “understated” and all of my coworkers assume we’re planning something on a tight budget…. except we’re not, and it isnt. Same situation though- people saying “omg you’re doing so much with so little!” Uh, no… we’re spending more than my annual salary but since we don’t have a marble ballroom people think its “cheap” (that’s a quote.)
So whatever. They’ll figure it out when they do it themselves.
Post # 4
You can’t please everybody. Seriously. They should all just butt out. The process is stressful enough sans the judgemental comments.
Post # 5
We’ve had quite the opposite, our parents our paying for it and we are helping towards some costs but I told some people how much we were spending and The reaction was that it was a waste of money and far too much to spend. So I say fuck them all do whaT you want spend what you want!!!!!!
Post # 6
Yes, people who didn’t know what it was. One of DH’s relatives made some comment about how his dad must have won the lottery or something. There’s a group of in-laws always hitting up my FIL for money.
I also had some friends ask for some general numbers because they were getting married.
Post # 7
@angeluscado: my sister keeps telling me i’m insane for spending so much money. She agrees on the type of wedding I want and it’s what she would want but doesn’t get that this is what these things cost. I’m cutting corners wherever I can but it is what it is.
Post # 8
if I hear one more time “my $5,000 elk club wedding was just as nice as my friend’s $20,000 wedding” I might scream. Seriously, that’s nice for you, but I’m spending what I want (and can afford!) on my wedding. I’m sure your wedding was very nice for you but maybe I want something different!!
@angeluscado: You do what you want, girl! I bet your wedding will be fantastic!!:)
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Yes and the funny thing is that we have yet to get the entire quote from our wedding coordinator. Yet, we were getting lectured on budget for destination weddings by some. I mean, we don’t even have invites sent out, so we don’t have a definite guest list. I’ve had suggestions thrown at me: “Why don’t you rent a community hall and hire caterers?”
Then, I pull out my almighty spreadsheet, which is linked to a guest list from a previous tab. (I can fore-see that this will make my RSVP checklist easier and have a live budget.)
Being the management accountant-in-training that I am, I was ready to back up our plans with unbiased pros and cons. (And I’m not expecting any guests to cover their share! FI and I are footing the whole shindig — we just want our families to be comfortable, have fun meeting and co-mingling with one another)
None of my coworkers criticized me on my budget though. My boss was actually impressed with my estimates. (Yes, I even did my homework of comparing other venues’ quotes prior to picking this one.)
Just a brief summary of what my budget is estimating: dinner (8 people max per table), outdoor chair rentals, limited wine service during dinner; then, a rough estimate of providing breakfast for some guests the next morning.
Honestly, people who say anything negative about budgets realistically either are out of touch what things cost these days (versus what costs in 1970s were) or are trying to impose their tastes on us.
Post # 10
My FI’s cousin said to me one day “oh, so is your wedding going to be one of those…. “low budget” weddings?” She used the bunny ears and everything. While I had a stint of unemployment last year, my parents gave us a (surprise) butt load of money towards the affair. I however, don’t think your budget has to reflect how nice your wedding is.
Post # 11
I think people need to stay out of other people’s budgets – whether its a high or low budget, they’re not footing the bill so they should just stay out of it!!
Post # 12
I think budgets should be a private thing. I don’t tell anyone what my budget is because the one person besides my mother who knows thinks I’m trailer trash or something because it’s so low. It’s still going to be a very nice wedding…I just know how to do things cheaper! Do what you want, it’s your wedding and your money!