- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
As long as there's enough food, it should be fine! Hors d'oeuvres receptions can be a lot of fun, and the food is often way better than a standardard plated chicken dinner. My one suggestion is to maybe avoid having assigned seating. Usually hors d'oeuvres receptions lend themselves to mingling, and wandering about the room, so there isn't a whole lot of sitting in one place for an extended period. Assigned seating could maybe throw off that casual vibe.
Your dj/ mc should be able to help with a timeline for toasts, and things.
IMG_6964aWEB.jpg (247.2 KB, 261 downloads) 1 year old IMG_4848-Wweb.jpg (134.6 KB, 114 downloads) 1 year old aamand5a.jpg (147.3 KB, 111 downloads) 1 year old anya5a.jpg (227.1 KB, 69 downloads) 1 year old
Yeah... I've heard that its sort of the new trend and that they can be alot of fun. We just want to be able to still have assigned tables and keep the traditional toasts, first dance, etc. We just both hate the whole sit-down dinner thing and the time lapse involved in weddings between the cocktail and when things begin to get rolling! I'm just sort of confused on how to keep the flow going with this type of reception though!
on a related note, we are having a welcome event that we want to be just drinks and hors d'oeuvres (8-10pm). in order to make sure people don't leave hungry, what have you heard in terms of how many pieces per person? thanks in advance for any input!
We are having a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres only reception. Our ceremony will be at 7 pm, with the reception to follow. I think no matter what you do, it's fine... especially if there is enough food. Be sure to include on your invite that it is a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres reception. Also, consider having a little later ceremony, if possible. If you're too close to dinner time, it makes things tough.
Good luck!!!
I actually have no clue how to go about estimating how much per person... We are expecting about 230 to attend our wedding. If we do a sit-down dinner, we are estimating about 4 hor d'eourves per person during cocktail hour... does that sound right or way too little? I have no clue how much people will eat before dinner!
I kind of love the idea of doing a welcome event... are you doing this instead of the rehearsal dinner or the night before the rehearsal?
IMG_3887.JPG (122.3 KB, 91 downloads) 1 year old IMG_3882.JPG (119.8 KB, 37 downloads) 1 year old 
I just had this discussion with a coworker the other day through UNsolicited advice. His feelings as a guest to a cocktail only reception is that he really liked it. He thought it was really elegant and he did not leave feeling unsatisfied. That being said he did not travel for the wedding.
For us, everyone single one of our guests will be travelling for the wedding. Personally, I feel that if our guests are going to spend the money and time to celebrate with us they deserve more than a 2hour cocktail reception. I'm just generally speaking here because I haven't looked that far into cocktail receptions. But I think they are generally shorter? But your situation is probably different. Maybe you only have a couple out of town guests.
I'm thinking most guests will not feel dissatisfied with a cocktail only reception as long as you provide enough food. If people are going to be at your ceremony then the cocktail reception afterwards they really are not going to have time to leave and have dinner if that's what your expecting? So I think you should still make sure you guests get filled properly.
I think every situation is different so you should do what is best for you & you fiance and most financially comfortable. Good Luck!
CS_Ball_Room_3.JPG (233.3 KB, 70 downloads) 1 year old 
I think it's a great idea, very chic and fun! But can I make a suggestion? A 6pm ceremony followed by a 7pm reception is smack over the dinner hour, and may lead some guests to assume you'll be serving dinner. If you really don't want to change the timing, you should be careful to specify "hors d'oeuvres and cocktails" on the reception card or on the invitation like lara_bee suggested. Also, I agree with bluegreenjean about the assigned seating -- if people are going to be visiting various food stations and noshing on bite-sized hors d'oeuvres, assigned seating seems unnecessary, especially if you both hate the sit-down dinner vibe. (Is there a specific reason you really want assigned seating?)
I think it will be pretty easy to keep the "flow" going -- you can budget around 45 minutes-1 hour for general nibbling and mingling among the guests, then have the DJ announce toasts, cake cutting, and first dance. You should be able to follow a pretty traditional dinner reception timeline -- just cut out the "dinner" part and move right from the cocktail hour to the toasts and dancing!
Our family and friends are pretty used to traditional weddings (we're from Michigan so the "trends" haven't quite hit the midwest yet :) The first thing they'll do is expect to get their placecard and find their seats and I'm afraid people will feel uncomfortable and confused that they have to find a seat with their friends. I find it easier to just let them know where they will be sitting.
I do totally understand that this may not work for a cocktail reception however so I may have to rethink some things!!!
We are doing the cocktail/hors d'oeuvres reception also. Our ceremony is at 6:30 pm. I was worried about being so close to dinner time, but have asked around and everyone thinks it is a great idea. We will of course note this in our invitations on either a separate card or included in our map and hotel information. I think as long as they know ahead of time, then it will be great. Besides we will have plenty of hors d'oeuvres for guests to munch on. We aren't doing assigned seating we just thought it was a little too hard to figure out with no dinner being served, this way guests can mingle and dance the night away!! Good luck to everyone!!
One of my friends got married a year ago and on their invitation it said "hors d'oeuvres reception immediately following" My fiance is an eater, so we were a little worried. When I think of hors d'oeuvres in my head I see waiters walking around with trays and bite sized pieces. We were nervous that there wouldn't be enough food to even feel like a meal. Boy were we wrong! We got there after the wedding let me tell you, it was the most AMAZING spread of food I have ever seen! There was probably only 3 tables, set up buffet style in one long line that had everything...shrimp, mini crab cakes, mini chicken cordon bleu, meatballs, spinach dip, vegetables, tea sandwiches, fruits, etc. We left feeling very satisfied, but it was nice because we weren't overly stuffed. It was at that moment that I knew that was what I wanted at my wedding. I love the idea of hors d'oeuvres even for dinner. If you have enough food, people will be happy. Plus, I want people to mingle...and who wants to eat really heavy foods, all while drinking and dancing?!?!
That being said, in pricing caterers I have found that it is a little more expensive than a buffet style dinner. The caterers have told me depending on how many options you have you will need 2-3 pieces per person. But with things like shrimp, 6-8 per person...Also, don't trust the "feeds x amount of people" that the trays from places like Sam's Club says. I was a little freaked out that a cheese platter that only feeds 35 people was $49.99. I was thinking that my idea of hors d'eouvres was impossible, but she told me that it would only feed 35 people if that was the ONLY thing those 35 people had to eat...in all reality it will feed 3x that...
It was still looking to be pretty expensive (at least for our budget) so I called my friend and she filled me in on her secret :) She found a caterer that was willing to make some of the food from scratch and they bought the rest of the food from Sam's/Costco. I had no idea that the shrimp, mini crab cakes, mini chicken cordon bleu (which was AMAZING btw) and pretty much everything else was purchased from Sam's. I would have NEVER in a million years guessed that it was. So I was on a mission to find someone similar...
I found a few people that are going to cater for me for less and here is our menu (with a lot from Sam's)
Veggies
Mini Fruit Kabobs
Pinwheels
Sausage/Cheese platter
Crackers
Cheese ball (my mom makes a really good one, so we're going to make like 10 of these a few days before)
SHRIMP!! Love me some shrimp
Mini Quiche
Spinach Dip/Salsa/Chips
Mini Beef Taquitos
Boneless wings (easy to eat with toothpicks)
Panko breaded chicken tenders
& Pulled pork with mini rolls for small sandwiches
Really all I am paying the caterer to do is cook and platter the food and keep it stocked, which has saved me a TON of money, I think like $1000, which is worth it. We are going to have them in 3 stations (cold, hot, & BBQ) to encourage mingling and conversation. Sorry this is so long, but I hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions...
I love this kind of wedding! I think it allows for more socialization of the guests, a more fun, laid back atmosphere, yet is also very elegant if there are butler passed appetizers too.
I think that dancing and entertainment fits best in with these kinds of receptions also. You could save $$ by having only a few passed items, and the rest at buffet stations..
books.jpg (148.1 KB, 39 downloads) 1 year old
lindseylou--We're having the welcome event in lieu of a rehearsal dinner so that everyone can join in. Otherwise, I would have had a rehearsal dinner and a late-night cocktail hour that welcomed everyone, from like 9-11 at a bar or something. I like the hors d idea because it allows people to mingle and is more casual.
I did some research on the internet and saw that planners should estimate 10 pieces per person if the hors d will be substituting for a meal. While my welcome event is only 2 hours, it does fall during people's dinner hours so I feel like I should also plan for 10 pieces--and yes, it does get expensive!
Let us know what you decide!
Candybar.JPG (90.7 KB, 103 downloads) 1 year old satinsashusedaspuddle.JPG (77.7 KB, 69 downloads) 1 year old blackchaircoverwithsash.JPG (51.8 KB, 76 downloads) 1 year old hotpinksatintablecloth.JPG (78.4 KB, 66 downloads) 1 year old
Honestly, for us, the reason we are doing the appetizer reception vs. dinner is twofold. One reason is obvious, BUDGET!, and the other is because we don't want our guests confined to a table for an hour or more. We want them to mingle and have fun!
Speaking of budget... we are not going to have 10 pieces per guest. (That's kind of a lot!) Instead, we are cutting costs by having a veggie tray, fruit & Cheese tray and a Bruschetta and olive display. On top of that, we are passing around 3 - 4 appetizers. We feel that this should be enough. On top of that, we have a dessert table as well. This should be plenty, considering we are stating clearly on the invite that it is a cocktail and hors d'oeuvres reception.
I think quantities of hors d'oeuvres might really depend on your guests and what they're used to/how much they regularly eat. My Fi and I have been to lots of appetizer only events, and I can tell you that he eats probably eats 10 pieces an hour. He's a big guy (6'3" and 225 llbs), and he refills his plate 4-5 times over the course of a 3-4 hour party. I, on the other hand, would fit more into the 10 pieces for the entire length of the party scenario. In a case like this, I would want to overestimate on food to make sure no one leaves hungry, rather than take a chance that someone wouldn't get enough to eat. And if your guests are used to a full, sit-down dinner, they might eat more than the average person who is used to hors d'eouvres receptions.
We also did a cocktail and hors doeuvres reception. However, the cost variance wasn't much. We only went with that, due to our late ceremony time (7:30 PM). There was so much food though, I don't think anyone went hungry. Even those who skipped dinner. But be sure to make it clear in your invites that it's a "cocktail reception." That should relay the message that the food will be scaled back.
One way to add more of a "party" feel, while still doing assigned seating (which I highly recommend!), would be to include some cocktail tables on the outlining of your reception hall.
I am not even engaged yet, but I know that I want to have this kind of reception. I definitely want to have an open bar and having appetizers only will allow for more room in the budget for this 
We are doing a tapas style reception. Sort of a "heavy hors d'oeuvre" type thing. I'm thinking we will do a cheese/veggie & fruit platter & passed hors d'oeuvre on the outside terrace for the first hour and then have tasting stations with the tapas or "mini-meals" & cake inside. This is going to be more expensive for us then a plated meal at our venue - I've been told by our venue/caterer. Also, because we want a cocktail style set up, I think it will mean more $$ for chairs, highboys & tablecloths because we will have seats outside & in. We plan to have plenty of food and because we will have the tapas, I don't think we need to call it an hors d'oeuvre reception.
Make sure you talk to your caterer about whether it will really be less expensive to do the hors d'oeuvre.
**Edited for spelling** God I hope my old french teacher doesn't read this:-) 4 1/2 yrs and I still can't get that one right!
I would love to go to a wedding like that!! I kind of dislike how bands/dj's always feel like dinner hour is their 'break' and they get to just put on a recording and sit and eat during that time. Hello - I'm paying you thousands of dollars for only a few hours!!
You said there would be tons of food - make sure that's accurate! I feel slighted when I go to an out of town wedding and there isn't enough food to make me full (I'm a teeny tiny person, it doesn't take much). Plus, people are drinking and need food in their stomachs to absorb the alcohol.
I would much rather have a variety of smaller bites at different intervals than sit for a full meal with the band at the next table stuffing their faces when they should be playing music.
I originally wanted a similar type of party, but when I added up the costs of it, it really wasn't all that much less than a sit down, plated party.
What I've learned so far is that the most practical way to cut down on budget is to cut the guest list. As hard as it is, that's the most effective.
re: how much food - if you stick with doing it during the dinner hour, you will need more food. If you do it off hours (say a 2pm wedding, with the cocktail party from 3-6, you'll need less.
Most guides I read were 8-10 choices with 2-3 of each per guest.
I found this helpful:
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/entertaining/partiesevents/cocktailpartybuyersguide
Love the advice and ideas here. :)
I too am looking to do heavy hors d'oeuvres reception and dancing! :) and looking to see if 'assigned seating' will be best...still unsure of the seating part.
I think this sort of reception (4 hours+) with dancing can be more fun and allow for mingling! :)
I am having this type of reception also and it seems like all of our friends and "younger" family members think its an awesome idea and the older family members and more traditional people are a little bit freaked out! My fiance and I both decided immediately that this is what we want to do. I personally have never enjoyed the dinner part of a wedding and knew I didnt want it! My wedding planner told me that she has done a ton of cocktail receptions and no one ever leaves hungry. Makes me feel a lot more confident in my decision!
@cabanagrl9: Nice that you're date is 5.14.11 as well! :) I think you're right on the point that older family members/more traditional people ARE freaked out some by the cocktail reception idea. But again, I too think it'd be more fun. :)
Nice for you too that your wedding planner is more skilled in cocktail receptions.
I just need to figure out how to address the invite to show that the reception won't be skimpy on the food, esp. b/c I am hoping to invite a lot of out-of-town guests. Errr..
i have never been to one, but i heard good things! my future in laws went to one on new years eve and prior to it they were all mad about it and thought it was lame, but the next day were raving about how great it was and how there was still plenty of food and how they had an awesome time.
WOW! I never heard of this but I gotta tell ya, I LOVE the idea! I agree with most people are saying, as long as their is plenty of food it should be great!
Since I am a newbee at this whole Hors'derves only thing I have a question...is it much cheaper to do it this way? I love the idea and if it saves on your budget too i like it even more!
@ Miss Bella: Though I too am a newbie...I still want to do this sort of reception. :) IMHO, I don't know if it'd be cheaper than a sit down. I think it depends on many things. But, even if the hors d'oeuvres cost the same as a sit down, I think the former is just more fun and it gives the chance for guests to try lots of different things, if they want, and more of the option to mingle. :)
@smiles1979 Great minds think alike! hahaha. Did you happen to pick it bc its after both Easter and Mothers Day? Bc I was thinking about flower expenses when I saw those fell in my "prime time date" choices! hahaha
I will ask my planner and let you know! We havent really discussed it yet, but when we get there I will definitely give you a heads up. I read another thread on here about this and some girl put "Dinner Rotation" or something along those lines instead of cocktail reception. I forget what exactly it was, but it was cute! If I see it again I will let you know.
@Miss Bella & @smiles 1979: I too am a fan of this kind of reception; in fact we're doing this for our Friday afternoon reception. Concerning savings on the budget, I think it really depends on what you want this reception to be/what time your reception is. If your intention is simply to make your reception less constricted/more mobile during the dinner hour & using it to REPLACE a meal, it may NOT be any cheaper (possibly more expensive, as @arizonabride mentioned above).
However, if your intention is to avoid dinner hour altogether, but still give your guests something to munch on (like @ a fancy house-party like atmosphere) while they celebrate with you for a shorter amount of time, then it could be significantly cheaper than a dinner option. FI & I are going for this latter option. Our ceremony is well after the lunch hour at 2pm & it is a full mass, so it will end about 3:15. All our guests will be involved in the pictures (only 60 guests) & then we'll all head over to our "bites & beverages" reception, which will run from 4-6pm. Since we're completely skirting the lunch or dinner hour, our gastronomic goal is to give our guests "something to tide them over" until dinner. All these intentions are going to be clearly conveyed in our invitation so people don't come to our wedding hungry. And, they'll feel free to mingle & have fun without table assignments or a rigid reception program.
HTH! And please post your results!
@cabanagrl9: hehe. :) No, I didn't choose it b/c of that exactly, but good thinking. :) I live in New England and was trying to think of a good time in earlier 2011 that wasn't going to be as bad for weather. haha. Ya really can just 5 mins. and things can change (with the weather), but I was tryin' to be positive. :) So, thought May. Then yes, it's after Mom's Day, but also before Memorial Day...yeah, again between holidays. But, there's always going to be something right? :D
But..annnyywayy..;) Nice on the flower idea too. Though my fav. flower is tulips and I was planning on making that work for me no matter what season. ;) Whether I went silk or real. :) Still not sure exactly what I'm going to do about my tulips..but then again I'm still in early planning.
Great! Sure, I'd like to know what your planner has to say on the cocktail reception! :) Dinner rotation...hmm..
@ms.pascua: Nice on your ideas too. :) Sounds like you've got things worked out pretty well. :)
I'm planning on an evening ceremony/reception b/c I like the idea of 'dancing the night away' and feel like I can work on getting ready, seeing about taking pics. and all that during the day, then the evening we can get things going. I also plan on inviting a lot of out of town guests, so an evening celebration should give them time to get settled, etc. as well. :)
It is interesting though how so many brides-to-bee ;) etc. have so many different ways of doing their special days. :) It's great! Soo many ideas!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 16 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| ladyartichoke | 12 |
| mypinkshoes | 12 |
| pengoala | 11 |
 sylvia.riggle |
11 |
| ShellVee | 10 |
| ndreighton | 10 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Samo12 | 5 |
| les105 | 3 |
| nerdysarah | 3 |
| pengoala | 2 |
| vorpalette |
2 |
| fishbone | 2 |
| PinkPinstripes | 1 |
| Summer82 | 1 |
| KatyElle | 1 |
| andielovesj | 1 |
I wrote a post about this before but am still curious about people's opinions on the subject. My fiance and I sat down this past weekend and did our wedding budget... it's about DOUBLE what we thought we'd be able to spend so now we're sort of back to square one.
Can anyone give me some thoughts on a cocktail/hor'deourve-only reception. We are having a short ceremony and would do it at like 6pm, going right into the reception at 7pm. My concern is that out of town guests will be offended that they travelled all that way and weren't served a full dinner. We'd still offer tons of food, and even incorporatate a couple "food stations" that people could have and some late-night food.
My other concern is how to do the whole wedding timeline with this type of reception. We'd still have assigned tables but when would you do the toasts, first dance, etc and still have the feel of a party?
Any help/suggestions/advice would be very appreciated!!!!!