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My fiance and I thought it would be really special to have communion together as husband and wife for the first time during the ceremony. I think it will be a great time, it'll be right after the unity candle, and right before the pronouncement of marriage. So I'm excited.
Are you guys including something special to include your faith in your ceremony - other than the traditional things like scripture reading and unity candle.???
My fiance and I are also having communion. And like yourself, we are doing it right after the unity candle and before we are pronounced husband and wife. Are you using any special music?
Yes :) Have you heard Keith Green? His song Love With Me he wrote for his wife, and my dear friend is playing piano and singing the song.
We are also doing communion, and since we are catholic, we will be exercising the "prayer to MAry" which many people don't do anymore... I will be collecting individual flowers from significant women in my life and FI's life, and placing them at the altar of Mary, asking for a blessing as wife and mother. I am really excited for this part of the ceremony.
@cecullaton - that's a sweet idea. I am excited for mine as well.
@aunt pol, oh is communion traditional for Catholics?
I'm not catholic and I had honestly never heard of a Christian ceremony where the couple took communion, but loved the idea... that's cool though!
@miss-spunkin: When both the bride and groom are Catholic, it's my experience that they usually opt for a full nuptial mass with communion. If one of the couple is not Christian, a lot of times they'll skip communion to avoid making that person and their whole family "uncomfortable" at the ceremony.
Ours is a full Catholic mass as well, so I don't think there's a single thing about ours that isn't religious! I'm not sure about other religions, but the unity candle isn't a traditional Catholic thing and doesn't have any religious significance either.
There's a nice tradition from FI's Mexican heritage to bring flowers to the Virgin Mary (at which point the singer often sings Ave Maria) that I was thinking of incorporating into our ceremony. Any excuse to have Ave Maria at our wedding is good! :D
@jenbradner, well I do know that Protestant and Catholic services are VERY different. I think Catholic services are longer as well.
We're having a mostly traditional protestant ceremony, and my youth pastor from since I was nine is doing the ceremony. He also did my sister and brother's, and I'm so excited to have someone so close perform such a special event.
Ahh so you're Protestant. 
It's an interesting coincidence that you mention the difference between the two churches... I recently learned that the bride being "given away" by her father is a tradition that still stands in Protestantism but not in Catholicism. Apparently for Catholics, the father of the bride is just there as an escort!
And LOL yeah Catholic masses can run over an hour depending on how fast the priest speaks. O_o
I think having communion together on your wedding day is a really special thing to share, especially because it's one of the first things you do as a married couple. Thanks for this post; it's made me excited for our first communion as a couple too. <3
We're doing the full mass, with the flowers for Mary and communion.
Nah --they wouldn't let us 'cause I married a pagan eventhough I'm a God-fearin' Christian girl! ;) Our ceremony was an hour without it!
@ miss-spunkin: We are using the song, "Come and Listen" by David Crowder. Two former students of mine are performing it. One singing and the other playing the piano.
@jenbradner, wow I didn't know that about the giving away. Yeah one of my friends was actually surprised to hear that we draw out the giving away of the bride. My dad still stands with me during opening prayer and the greeting, then the pastor says who gives this woman to this man or something like that, and my dad says my mother and I do.
@tennischick, I love that song! Good choice
I went to a protestant wedding where the bride and groom had communion right after they exchanged vows. It was their "first act as husband and wife," which I thought was really beautiful. But since I'm Catholic, I thought it was funny only the bride and groom had communion and not everyone. If you do it, I'd include everybody. It's all about unity, right?
@jedeve, we are doing it like that, first communion as husband and wife. But we're not going to include everyone because not everyone who's coming shares our faith. And communion is meant for Christians because it's an act of remembrance - remembering what our Lord and & Savior did for us on the cross. Communion isn't an act of unity, unless you're speaking of unity with God.
I'm sorry to disagree :) But I wouldn't want anyone to feel pressured to partake in communion. And even if you told people they didn't HAVE to, it'd still be awkward for someone when everyone else around them is taking communion.
But we wanted it as an intimate thing between just us.
My best friend had communion at her ceremony last year. The bride and groom, wedding party, and pastor took communion at the front and everyone else had communion kits at their seats, so they could choose to participate if they wanted to. According to my fiance, most people around him didn't really know what to do with it since they were used to receiving communion from a preacher.
My mother is an Episcopalian priest, so is going to be leading our ceremony (she may do it all on her own, or with an assisting priest - still tiptoeing through that mine field!!), and my FI's parents are both highly involved in the church, so the parents all wanted the communion included in the service. I was ambivalent about it at first, but now that we've decided to do it, I think it will be great. It also gives up a time to sit back and see all of the guests! For those who aren't Episcopalian/Christian, or who would rather not receive communion, they can choose to stay in their seats, or else just come up to the rails for a simple blessing.
I had never heard of the "flowers for Mary" tradition before, I think it sounds lovely! :)
Yeah, I did mean unity with God, and with others in faith. It's where the word comes from, same root as community. In the Catholic church, only Catholics receive communion, and so I know what you mean, its awkward for people who aren't going up to receive communion. I like your reasoning behind it. At the wedding I went to I just assumed it was a logistical thing that it would've taken too long for an open communion, which put me off a bit.
I'm glad I found this thread! This is something I've been playing out in my mind a lot lately.
I am a practicing Episcopalian, but most of my family and my SO's are Catholic. My SO and his family are not very religious and my SO is not currently practicing, so at this point it seems that my faith will be the guide for our ceremony. Communion is incredibly important to me, and I wish to receive it with my husband as our first act as a married couple...however, if I choose an Episcopal priest or a dual-ceremony with one Catholic and one Episcopal priest, I'm not sure how communion for the whole congregation would work. Would the Catholic priest give communion only to the Catholics? I know there are more restrictinos re: Catholic eucharist as opposed to Episcopal...
Until this point, I hadn't been able to figure it out...but simplifying the ceremony such that the bride & groom take communion and everyone else receives a blessing or something equally warm & fuzzy seems like a lovely idea that still gives a nod to tradition!
Cool!
@teenybird: You're right, as a Catholic your SO would not be able to receive from the Episcopal priest. and as an Episcopalian you would not be able to receive from the Catholic priest.I know there are events where Catholic priests are allowed to co-preside with ministers from other religions but I think at most of those events there is no Communion. They just do the readings and the marriage ceremony and that's it. With proper dispensation your SO could get married by the Episcopal priest, but he still wouldn't be able to take Communion from him/her.
In college I did go to one wedding where there was a Lutheran minister and a Catholic priest, and they did have Communion, however it was at a Catholic Church and when it came time to do the eucharist, the Lutheran sat down in the front pew and the priest did that part by himself.
Oh HA. This thread just made me remember that we were going to have communion at our ceremony 2 weeks ago and didn't. How did I miss that? UGH.
I had never heard of Protestant weddings including Communion (I do think it's a little off, theologically, since the symbolism of the act is so somber) until our pastor suggested it. He presented it as other posters have done, the "first act as a married couple" that the bride and groom partake in together, which is beautiful symbolism - starting your marriage by remembering Christ's sacrifice for you. Our pastor echoed the sentiment of one poster above, which we share; that being that it's theologically unsound to have just the couple partake without inviting everyone to do so. The problem is that Communion confuses many people when you have a group of people of mixed faith, and we've found it can feel more divisive than uniting when only some people do participate, whether by choice or by instruction (as in Catholic ceremonies where supposedly only members of that faith are even invited to the table). And to top it off it's logistically messy. So we're just doing the two of us, quickly but meaningfully, right after our vows.
Catholic here and doing the full mass. I'm so excited for our mass, more so than any other part!
My FI and I will be washing each others feet. Christ charges us to do so after washing the disciples' feet,
I love the illustration of serving one another and being selfless.
I'm doing communion too, I think it's such a beautiful way to start your marriage. When I mentioned it to my mom, she was amazed and said she had never seen it before in a wedding. Literally the last five weddings I've been to, they all did communion, and not one was catholic. I think it's a great idea.
I'm not Catholic and our church usually has the couple take communion. But it is their choice. We are having communion and a full worship service as well.
I would love this in my wedding. I saw one of my pastor's weddings on tape and it was so beautiful. I think they did this after they pronounced the marriage..their first act as husband and wife. I don't know if I will have a unity candle..I think I may have to watch their ceremony again! I totally forgot in what order they did things. Maybe they had communion before they were married? Idk. I forget.
My FI suggested this and I think it's a beautiful idea. I think we'll do it in place of the unity candle as well. I feel more symbolism in communion than in lighting a candle. I've personally never seen it done in a wedding though. If anyone knows where there is a recording of a Protestant service including this I'd love to see how they arranged it. I searched for it on YouTube and was only able to find one example and it wasn't very smooth.
In our Protestant ceremony, our parents came up and lit the 2 side candles for the unity candle and then my husband and I took communion. After we ate the bread and drank, we lit the unity candle together. During the time that it was happening we had a pianist play "Have Thine Own Way Lord" which really fit our idea that God brought us together and we wanted him to guide our new life as one. We did not offer communion to everybody and as we did these things, the pastor softly explained what we were doing and what it symbolized, how the communion was our way of showing that we would remember and follow God through all of our marriage, and how the unity candle showed the 2 families being united through our union. It was very peaceful and reflective.
My husband and I took communion during our ceremony after we lit the unity candles. We did it while my dad played a song that he wrote for me on his trumpet. It was really sweet, I'm so happy we had it in our ceremony. I would suggest white grape juice if you aren't catholic :) haha.
We're going to have communion ourselves in our cermony and then have our pastor speak and pass out communion to everyone else to take as well.
I have a question though...Do bapists believe that you have to be baptized to take communion? B/c my best friend said she would have to be baptized to take communion. I had to tell her the reason as to why you take it. But encouraged her to do so if she wished. B/c for me as a Christian whom attends Assembly of God Church, I hadn't heard that before...but I know all religions are different. So if anyone knows...Thanks!
I always wanted to do communion during my ceremony, but not sure if I will now (I do not want the ceremony to be too long)
@yearns4god: Do bapists believe that you have to be baptized to take communion?
The requirements to receive communion vary by church is the Baptist denomination. In some extreme cases, only members of that particular church who attend regularly are able to receive communion. So even a baptized Baptist from another church visiting on a holiday would be excluded.
And these are old, but just to clear up a few things...
@Magdalena: I know there are events where Catholic priests are allowed to co-preside with ministers from other religions but I think at most of those events there is no Communion.
This is a little vague, but Catholic priests are never allowed to co-preside with a minister of another faith for a wedding or Mass. Another minister could perform one of the scripture readings or could provide a prayer after the wedding, but the form of marriage would follow the Catholic Rite of Marriage exactly and the priest would preside solely over the wedding. Any deviation of that (such as another minister standing and receiving the vows with the priest) would be an invalid marriage (though you can easily find fake "priests" willing to do whatever you want - but despite what they tell you, it's not a Catholic marriage).
@jenbrandner: Ours is a full Catholic mass as well...
People have mentioned the "Full Mass" several times. I assume people are saying this to designate between a Nuptial Mass and a Rite of Marriage (which is not Mass). However, while these two things are different, you're married just the same under both and neither is "better" or "more Godly" than the other.
@jenbrandner: When both the bride and groom are Catholic, it's my experience that they usually opt for a full nuptial mass with communion. If one of the couple is not Christian, a lot of times they'll skip communion to avoid making that person and their whole family "uncomfortable" at the ceremony.
If both bride and groom are baptized Christians, they can choose either a Nuptial Mass (with communion) or a Rite of Marriage (without communion). Usually priests recommend a Mass when both are Catholic and no Mass when one is not Catholic (to avoid pointing out the differences that divide Christians today).
If either the bride or groom is not baptized, then the wedding must occur without Mass. There is no option.
@yearns4god: Do bapists believe that you have to be baptized to take communion? B/c my best friend said she would have to be baptized to take communion.
Well, nowadays there isn't much continuity even among the same denomination, but I will say that I was raised in a Baptist church and every time we have communion the pastor only points out that you shouldn't take communion if you aren't a Christian. I took communion as a child (starting around 6 when I was saved) before I got baptized (at 12). Baptism, in our doctrinal statement, being a public declaration of your desire to live a Christian life (which a small child can't really do), while taking communion means you understand and believe in the doctrines expressed (death/resurrection of Christ and the confession/forgiveness of sin) and are communing with the church body.
we are undecided about this. we go to a Methodist church, so if we do communion it has to be for the whole 'congregation' too (all our wedding guests). The problem is that we have SOO many people who are not Christian, and I don't want them to a.) feel uncomfortable not taking it. or b.) take it just to go through the motions, because to me it is a very sacred thing.
so i think I am leaning against it but I think my fiance is leaning toward it. that is one of the things we still need to figure out before we can do our programs.
@LittlestBirds: we would love to do this! but it is not allowed in the Methodist church. . it is the whole congregation or no one.
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