(Closed) Anyone hearing of a minister refusing to do a wedding because…

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
4804 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No I have never heard of that!  It seems a bit ridiculous in my opinion.  What you are wearing does not affect your relationship.

Post # 6
Member
1124 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never heard of that… maybe it’s because they don’t see it as respectful or traditional?

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was thinking the same as @SBourgeous:, perhaps it’s for similar reasons as not performing the ceremony if someone has been drinking – the assumed lack of respect for tradition. (Not that I think costumes are, but some places have very particular requirements).  

Post # 9
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ve not heard of that specifically, but different churches have different rules and some of them would look upon that as being disrespectful in a house of God. 

In the same vein, I’ve heard of churches prohibiting people from things like playing secular music, taking photographs, and videography. 

Post # 10
Member
7697 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@SweetRose2011:

I am just speculating here, but I wonder if the minister would consider that too pagan for a religious ceremony-or if because of the wings, maybe the minister would think that you weren’t being serious about your wedding vows?

Post # 12
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hmmmmm…the fact that the minister has a problem with “costumes” seems to suggest this is a very traditional, perhaps orthodox minister. 

One person’s style preference is another person’s “costume.”  It might be because it seems like a “pagan” dress – or maybe this is a minister who also would not have felt comfortable if you were in chicken suits. 

Many states allow you to have friends marry you if they get liscenses for the day.  Have you checked into that? 

Post # 14
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

My guess is that the minister would have problems with the marriage ceremony being taken too lightly.   Pagan elements would be an issue as well.  In reading through the thread, I  have a feeling that there is a misunderstanding of the term nondenominational.  That term means that – that particular church is not affliated with a church group… ie… (it’s not Catholic, not Baptist, not Methodist, not Presbyterian, not Lutheran )  Most of the nondenominational church groups that I am aware of are normally fairly conservative in nature and strongly Christian… and some organizations actually work under the title of nondenominational because their volunteers are from many different Christian backgrounds.  I haven’t ever heard of a minister denying someone the right to marry based on the outfit … but I have heard of churches that will let you know of what they believe is appropriate dress for church or a temple. 

Post # 15
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@SweetRose2011:  Well – I think that if this is a dress you would like to wear (or something similar – or even a way you want the ceremony decorated) , then find an officiant and a location that would let you have the wedding of your dreams. 

Post # 16
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Is that what the minister actually said, or is she just assuming he won’t be willing to marry you in that dress? Either way I would have a chat with him yourself, if possible.

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