Anyone here have a phobia of flying?

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

me me me me me! super fear of flying and fear of planes over here. 

I have however flown from the UK so spain, greece, tenerife, lapland, south africa, italy etc etc.

Only in the last year have i decided that i cannot do this anymore and even gave my ticket for our last holiday to my brother in law!

Diazapam valium was great for a long haul flight for me. I slept the entire 11 hours and was super chilled out. I was a shivering wreak for months before though.

I joined a fear of flying forum which is run my a british airways pilot and got the flying without fear book which really helped at the time. It was my bible. i read through the relevent chapters on the flight and listened to the audio tape of plane noises and their meanings for weeks prior to travel.Try to establish the cause of fear. claustrophobia, heights, general anxiety, fear of not being in control etc etc and work on that first.

Try to be as understanding as possible. Do you have any fears that srike that feeling in you?

other meds i take are rescue remedy, Kalms, and sitting with my palms facing up on my lap help ease anxiety. CBT may help or even hypnosis.


Post # 5
114 posts
Blushing bee

Sometimes you can ask the flight attendents if you can talk to the pilot during the flight, if you’re feeling afraid. They are used to it and if they have the time, they can be really good about calming you down and telling you why there is turbulance, why the plane is shaking, etc. If your SO thinks logically like that, it could help!


Also, ask your doctor for a different medication than Valium. I know ativan works well for me and puts me right to sleep, but valium doesn’t. And maybe this is common sense, but make sure he doesn’t use the anti-anxiety medication much before he flies, or he will build up a tolerance and it won’t be as effective when it comes time to actually take the flight.

Post # 7
3778 posts
Honey bee

I used to be SOOOOO scared of flying, like panic attack, tears, wanting to get off the plane, the works. Then I started a job where I had to fly for work, even booking the flight made me cry. In the end, my first flight I had to do with my brand new boss, I just told myself that I was going to be fine and I needed to get a grip as didn’t want to show myself up in front of my boss. After doing a few more of these flights on my own I got better and better each time and two summers ago I flew from the UK to Canada on my own, across Canada an even did a sea plane tour. I just told my self I wasn’t going to let my fear stop my from doing what I wanted to do.


I know you can’t just tell him to get a grip, like I told myself to, but maybe understanding it is something you CAN overcome may help. I think speaking to the doctor is also a good idea. My Mum hates flying and I know she has had tablets before. Either way, good luck to him x

Post # 8
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@outofideas:  Flying Without Fear is a great book. 


Before I took my most recent flight I saw a little quote on Facebook that said, “those who live in the past experience depression, those who live in the future experience anxiety and those who live in the present experience happiness.”  It really resonated with me as I prepared to board my flight.  I kept repeating to myself over and over “In this moment I am safe, in this moment I am safe” and it really helped to reduce my anxiety.  For me flying is a complete loss of control and the fear that we might get into an accident and die feels very real in the moment however if I constantly remind myself that all I really know for sure is the present and in the present everything is okay I can stay mindful and focus on my breathing.  Personally, I would rather learn to cope with my anxiety than mask it with medication. 


ETA: I let the flight attendant know that I was an anxious flyer on the most recent flight I took and I found it to be helpful.  She brought me water before the beverage cart when around and explained what noises I would hear during take off and landing and told me that they were completely normal.  She also reassured me that turbulence was expected and totally normal and frequently checked in with me to make sure I was okay.  She didn’t make me feel embarrassed and she told me that they deal with this kind of thing all the time and are actually trained on how to make guests feel more comfortable if they’re experiencing flight anxiety.  If they know what you’re going through they are more than willing and able to help.


Post # 9
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I have a HUGE fear fo flying. All started when I watched some ridiculous film made in about the 70s of a plane that crashed in the middle of the ocean and sunk to the bottom with people still alive on it!! I never knew it had affected me until I was bawling my eyes out walking up the steps to the plane, (I was 16) and it’s stayed with me ever since. 

I’ve found reading Fear of Flying books helps me. As in it takes the edge off a little so I can actually get on the plane. I try and read some form of fear of flying material each time I get on a plane. I also take Diazapam but it just chills me out until the plane starts whizzing down the runway then I am usually back to a crying jibbering wreck again. It’s NEVER helped me to sleep even if I take an extra one. 

I am worse with turbulance. I can handle it when it’s smooth (don’t get me wrong, I’m still totally terrified, but I’m just not crying my eyes out) but when the seatbelt sign comes on then I’m in tears again knowing we’re going in for a bumpy ride. 

Last time I flew (london to Cancun) I paid (gulp) $10 for a turbulance forcast report which you get the day before you fly. It kinda helped knowing in advance where we may have turbulance so then in my head when the turbulance occured, that I knew it was going to happen and it was all ok. But as it happens the 11 hour flight was generally quite smooth. I’ve no idea if this would help your SO? 

Has he considered doing one of those fear of flying courses? They’re not cheap but I’ve heard lots of good things about them. Other than that, I would suggest reading and lots of it. There are some good websites out there with lots of material for nervous flyers (I’d post the links but I can’t remember what they are). 

It’s horrible being utterly petrified. I totally feel for your SO. I hope he finds a way to make it less terrifying and distressing for himself. 

Post # 10
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013



I second that!!! I am having Dialectical Behavioural Therapy for mental illness (very similar to CBT) and one fo the first things the therapist taught me was during times of stress, to tell yourself “everything is, as it should be”.. and almost meditate to that. And when you think about it, it makes sense. So that was one of the things I was trying to do when I was in freak out mode on the plane with some controlled breathing. Not sure if it helped me but it’s worth a go. (it didn’t on the way back… nothing could help me – not even 3 diazapam and 3 vodkas! But then it was a night flight and that in itself freaks me out!!) 

Post # 12
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Xanax and a glass of wine before I board the plane. lol.

Post # 13
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I went through a period where I wept on every flight I was on for about two years. I fly fairly regularly and it just started up for no reason. The Fear of Flying book really helped me a lot, as did concentrating on breathing and trying to relax. It has eased up a bit. I wish I knew what brought it on… I have NO IDEA. I have never had an especially bad flight. 

Post # 14
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000

I always have fear of flying mp3s (Stacey Chance’s Fear of Flying audio course) and calming music, mindfulness exercises, etc. in a special playlist on my ipod or mobile if I’m doing any flying. I’ve really found it helpful.

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