Weddingbee boards

So, for the past month or 2 I have just been SO DONE with the entire wedding. I resent it and I just want it to be over. I dont want to make anymore decisions, dont want to put anymore money into it, dont want to even think about it anymore.
FI isnt making this much easier. Whenever I start to get stressed he will say " and I wanted a court house wedding" which he does, bc he thinks weddings are a waste of money. We have no time to actually sit down and talk bc I work so much and Im just so sick of it all. I picked up a 3rd job and told FI that if i was going to do that, that he would have to help out around the house, IE - laundry, dusting, sweeping and general cleaning. "of course" he says. and right now, our laundry is piled up so high, its going to take an entire day to do. He works 1 job. and tonight is a Friday night. So he is going out and I am working. I am off on Sunday and plan to do laundry and clean. He said but we have plans to help his aunt get ready for her big christmas party. I told him that I wouldnt be able to go bc of the laundry and cleaning situation. And even when I bring up the fact that he should stay home tonight and do laundry, he says "but i havent seen the guys in forever" anyway -- didnt even mean to rant about that. BUT - I was leaving for work this morning and we had just had that laundry discussion, and he asked what was wrong with me, bc I was immediately put into a bad mood. And I told him. Then, he said "its not my fault you have to work" and I replied with "well its YOUR wedding too!!!" He always says that I have to work for it bc its MY wedding!! Before I was kind of understanding to this. But anymore, im sick of it!! I couldnt burst into tears and start the fight that i wanted to, bc I had to come to work. And we can never talk about it like I said, bc Im always working. Im sick of him thinking this is MY wedding!! its OUR wedding, we are supposed to be a team!! If he had something that he was passionate about, I would help him in every way that I could.
He thinks that its just such a waste, and we should just have this little celebration. Which, I mean, lets be honest, I obviously want a wedding. But, nothing big, nothing extravegant. Just nice.

He is driving me crazy and before today I already hate everything about this wedding planning!! Im too busy for it, and the money is NOT adding up!!

This is basically just a rant, but are any other bees FI's being pains in the ass's!?!?

@tranquility We cant really push it back. And part of the big stress.... I want a 60 person wedding. 30 people from each side. Small, intimate, beautiful. FI wants a 180 person wedding!!!!! bc he has such a big family!! I showed him the numbers and he says "if its only gonna save us a few grand, why cut the list" Im getting SO sick of hearing that!! Bc a few grand is a few grand that I dont have to kill myself for! THATS WHY!!

He just isnt understanding. And I have really been thinking about sitting him down, in whatever free time I get and expaling to him, that Im sick of him acting like a child, he needs to grow up, we are getting MARRIED for christ sake, and he needs to take responsibility. He needs to stop being such a smart ass and help me. bc like I said before, we are a TEAM!!

Im already frustrated with wedding in general, and he is just adding to it!

@totheislnds I deff want to clear this crap up before the wedding!! But lately, whenever I make a suggestion, or critic him on something he gets SO shitty. Ill say "we need to cut the guest list a little bit" he will follow with "fuck it, lets just get rid of it all!!" He is SO dramatic!! And other things like I say "we need to clean out our corner of extra stuff for storage" he grabs a pile of his stuff and throws it all away without even looking at it and says "happy now?!?" I dont know what has gotten into him. But it needs to end NOW!!! Im sick of it!

@tranquility See and here is the other part about the job thing. I have generally always worked at least 2 jobs. I truley am a workaholic. Generally, if im not working, I feel useless and like I could be working to make money for my debts or anything. BUT,. wedding planning IS LIKE a job. So i was cool just working 1. lol. and FI has his 8 - 5 job and then he also works on computers as a side job. Sometimes he is SUPER busy, and sometimes he goes months without anything. But when I suggest that he get another job he claims that he "does computers and is a hustler" Now, he is not "gangster"  or anything like that. But he will buy computers, fix them, and sell them and jazz and thats his "hustle". So thats HIS job. Which sometimes, is fine. ya know.

But, With this post, I have deff come to the conclusion, that Sunday I will be talking to him. and I dont care if he takes it the wrong way or what way he takes everythign I have to say. But im sure I will feel MUCH better after I tell him what I have been feeling!

WHEW!! Thanks bees!! I can literally always count on this site, and its so wonderful!!

@roxy821 Thank you for that! I did need to hear (read) that. :) Yes, I almost think that if I can make it through this... I can make it through anything!! And I am praying that this whole dramatic thing helps FI and I to work together and prolem solve as a team. HOPEFULLY it just makes us stronger. And I am happy to hear that your engagement turned out the way it did. :)

Ladies who helped me through my Friday. Thank you!!

FI and I had a really big, long talk on Saturday that ended up going really well. We were BOTH in tears and saw that both of us were putting in efforts that the other one wasnt seeing. We are promising to get better with our communication, and our team building skills. Sunday he even helped me clean the entire apartment.

And yes, part of it ended with the (him saying) "you just have to TELL me these things, im not a mind reader, im a guy!!"  - dont ALL relationships have that. lol.

But just wanted to let you ladies know that our talk went well. :) Thank you!

@Miss Longcoat Ohhh Ive got ya covered!! lol. I used to have just an initial spreadsheet and a budget sheet. THEN once all this "extra people" talk came in. I figured how much more it was per person and per group of 10 people. Made spreadsheets of how much more it was to add those 10 extra people. And FI seems to think, if we only need X amount more, then why cant we have those extras. I follow  by telling him, if YOU want those extra people, YOU already know how much your gonna need to put in. lol.

I think now a days he will be coming around more. Plus I told him (and IM sticking to it) that in Jan, if he wont make up his mind on things, or if he is being difficult. Im putting my bridal foot down and I WILL become a bridezilla if thats what it takes for my voice to be heard!! lol.

and thankyou Miss Longcoat :)