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Miss Moonbeam and Mrs Sea Breeze both got legally married before their actual weddings!
They both blogged about it:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/09/10/married-legally/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2009/01/22/dominican-republic-marriage-license/
It doesn't- don't worry! We had to make it legal when I lost my job and was in danger of being uninsured. We actually won a magazine contest and they married us in their offices and provided flowers and a hotel stay for a little honeymoon. We didn't invite any family or friends but told immediate family at Christmas. The magazine did a little story on it so some people ended up finding out but completely understood. We still had the "big" wedding 10 months later that we consider the real deal. Since we had a semi-destination wedding this made finding an officiant so much less stressful since we were already legally married. We consider the big ceremony the actual day and we both have trouble even remembering the date of the legal ceremony. I think making it legal before is more common nowadays and if it makes it easier- go for it.
we are truly considering it as fi is military and will likely be reassigned before the wedding! we've already gone through 2 moves not being married, and it's quite a hassle. but part of me really struggles with the idea of making it official first...i think i'll feel like it makes the wedding that much less real. I don't know....
We are doing the same thing. In our state you can go down to the JP and get it done pretty easy without a service. Bacially he asks if you both come of your own free will and agree to get married then you sign the paper. We are treating it like any other day. Nothing special just signing some papers. =)
We may. : ) If we do, we'll probably get "legally" married the same day...just either before or after our wedding, because our ceremony will not be recognized as legal unless it's presided over by a marriage commissioner or a religious figure, which I have zero interest in doing!
A friend of mine did this, she was married in her home state the week of the wedding and had a destination wedding. Only the parents knew about it at the time and they totally consider their ceremony date the "real" wedding date. From what I hear, it doesn't take away from anything. Logistically sometimes, it just makes better sense.
We're making it legal AFTER our big day!
We're having a ceremony & reception in Canada first, but we need to legally marry on US soil for immigration purposes! :)
We did! My husband has scoliosis (has had since childhood....30 years now) - and he has two steel rods in his back...he had NO insurance and I have great insurance! my job would actually let me put him on my insurance before the wedding - but I can't/wouldn't have been able to til November (next month / open enrollment)...last year his back really started bothering him BAD and he developed a "pimple" where his spine is fused with the rods - at the top of his back - and yeah - it got pretty nasty. but of course we didn't put him ON my insurance last year - instead we kept hoping it would get better. It did not and so in March of this year he was badly in need of surgery. So we decided to make it legal in April so that I could call and immediately add him.
He had surgery at the end of April. :)
We got married on the deck of our house on April 12 - our (retired) minister came down from Michigan - my parents - and our best friends (my matron of honor and her husband) were witnesses. No one at either of our workplaces know - none of our other friends know - and only his mother knows (as far as his family is concerned).
It's really hard to keep a secret because i SO want to call him my "husband" - but I can't just yet. I also want to change my name, legally, but again - can't just yet. :)
Our WEDDING is June 26th and while he and I call each other husband and wife at home - we've been good at keeping it secret everywhere else.
As far as it taking away from the WEDDING...it really hasn't. I did wear a pretty sundress but we had a "ceremony" and that was all. My dream wedding is still coming up and I'm SO excited about it!
good luck!!!
We thought about making it legal before or after, but for us, we felt like it would take away from the ceremony. Plus, my mother would only come to what she considers the "real" thing, so she would have missed our vows to see us sign the papers that make us really married... ouch! Anyway, we chose to get married in the Dominican Republic, the legal requirements are easy. Less than 3 months to go!!
Hahahaha - I want to just to take the edge off of the whole shindig, but our mothers would literally want to kill us. So, we won't, but it's very tempting. We're getting the license today, and...
We're coming up on our 3 year engagment-versary, and we're ready to tie the knot! We've had like 3 wedding dates set since, but my dad's been undergoing treatment for cancer and just didn't feel like a good time to "have a party". So, by my parents suggestion, we're going with just my and his parents to the courthouse when we're all together near Christmas and making it official and kinda secret. No one but them (and us, haha!) will know until we finally set our real wedding date. I don't think it's going to take away from the big day, I actually think I'll be even more excited so I can call him husband in public!
We did it too! Our actual wedding isn't until next summer, but in the meantime FI needs health insurance, so we went to city hall and tied the knot. We didn't make it a big deal b/c next summer's wedding is the real one in our eyes. We didn't even do rings or anything. The only time I've referred to FI as my husband is when I had to call our new insurance company to switch our assigned doctors.
We're actually going to make it legal 2 days before the wedding. We wanted the wedding to fall on September 01 because that's the day we met and its very special to us, but family and friends complained loudly and frequently about a Wednesday evening wedding and reception, so we moved the wedding to Friday the third. We're going to have a super tiny ceremony on the 1st with just our family around us because that is the day we want to get married, so we are! Our anniversary will always fall on the 1st in our hearts and in the paperwork, the 3rd will just be the day we choose to have a big party to celebrate it all! :)
My FI has suggested this! Mostly because I'm an "independent contractor" and have super crappy and expensive insurance. FI works for an insurance company and has stellar (and almost free) insurance! He thinks we should just be legally married ASAP and not tell anyone. I'm not sure I want to do it. I feel like I would be a little less excited about the "wedding day" if I was married a year before it happened... I dunno. But, we're still considering it. :)
Corgi - that'd make your DW to Mexico a little easier ;)
My FH and i discussed this, but we'll just deal with it when we get back. haha!
I thought it would be kind of fun to get married before the actual ceremony. FI wanted a private wedding while I have a big family and wanted everyone there, so we are having a big wedding (joint decision). I thought it would be fun on the day of the ceremony to get married privately beforehand so he got his private ceremony, but he wouldn't go for it.
@Grace...wow that was a Blessing!
We are getting married about ten months before the real big day! FI is immigrating from the UK and we just didn't want to wait. Plus it makes it much easier in the DR and we won't have to deal with any of the logistics of being legally married there.
We did! My parents asked us to. We were discussing living together while being engaged/planning the wedding but my parents begged us to make it official first.
Thinking back, what they suggested was a good idea. I never lived with anyone before and if something went wrong it would have been very hard on me- not saying that once we're married nothing will happen but after we got legally married it was no longer easy to have one foot out the door.
Much later I realized I benefited from the health unsurance when I lost my job as a plus.
It didn't take any magic from the wedding day at all!
We made it legal about 8 months before the wedding for insurance purposes. We're considering the actual date of the wedding our official marriage day, even though we're already legally married. For us, it was simply 'getting the paperwork in early'.
It was actually a really fun and romatic day. We just went to the courthouse, signed the license, had a good bottle of champagne and went out for a nice dinner. It was really low key and totally stress free.
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Just curious if anyone else is making it legal (or did make it legal) before the actual wedding? We're getting married in Puerto Rico and the logistics of making it legal there are just too complicated, so we decided to make it legal in LA a couple weeks before we go. I'm still treating the wedding like the real thing and that will always be our wedding date, etc., and very few people know we'll be legal beforehand, but does anyone feel like this takes away from the actual wedding at all? I don't think it will, but I'm just curious : )