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I didn't know everyone at my wedding ... and my husband didn't know everyone at our wedding .... but between the two of us, one of us knew every single person. I take that back - we had one of my hubby's coworkers bring a date and neither of us knew him (but we did know the coworker). We had 198 guests.
@Ember78: There were people there I didn't know and people there DH didn't know, but between the two of us we had at least met everyone once. Except for one person's wife. But you can't really invite someone without their wife and why would you want to?
My grandmother has tried twice in the past week to invite random long distant family members I have never met and I am fighting it tooth and nail.
I refuse to have people at my wedding I don't know. It is a time of celebration with people we love, not random people looking to score free food and drink.
We're having a250+ guests, all immediate family (aunts uncles and cousins) and close friends, we're trying to have only people we know but I might have to give a few +1 to my cousins and a couple of friends but I really don't want to.
Absolutely. I would NEVER invite strangers to my wedding. Frankly, it makes no sense to me. I get that sometimes parents want their friends invited but this isn’t the parents wedding, it’s the kids. They shouldn’t get to determine the guest list, even if they’re paying. My parents paid for our ceremony and reception and never once did my mother try to dictate our guest list. I even asked if she wanted to invite her boss and some co-workers (all of whom I know) but she said that it wasn’t necessary.
My aunt said something years ago that has always stuck with me… “Don’t invite anyone to your wedding that you wouldn’t have over for dinner”. So true!
ETA: +1’s are a different story since you can’t really control who your guests bring. The only +1 that we hadn’t met was my MIL’s boss’ girlfriend but at the last minute she couldn’t come so we had no strangers at our wedding.
We were either related to (and talk to freequently) or very close friends with (and talk to frequently) everyone at our wedding. The idea of strangers being part of our day would totally skeeve me out. I know that some people see it as just a big party, but our ceremony was hugely emotional for us. it just wasn;t the kind of thing I wanted to share with strangers, or even regular friends. For us, it was the people who form our core group, and only those people.
@milesbella: This might be hard for us to do especially when it comes to family. We both have big families and neither of us have met all our relatives. But as far as friends, we are going to try to only invite people both of us know and have met.
We're having a fairly small wedding (the place only holds 80) so the only strangers that will be there will be a couple of +1s. On that note, not everyone is being invited with a +1, but of course the bridal party is and a couple of others. But not all of our single friends who would just bring a random, no thank you!
that's not an option. we *have to* invite some long lost relatives that I may have met once as a child- I don't know their names, nor faces, nor how they relate to myself. There's not a lot of those but a good 10-15 or so.
I have no problem with our parents adding some names to the quest list, so far we are under the amount of guests we expect to be inviting... And my FI's family will all be traveling 3+ hours so I expect more than a few of those to be no goes....
I'm having a hard enough time trying to decide who "makes the cut" from my our own extended family, let along invite strangers! It's tough, because you want everyone to have a good time, and sometimes that means bringing a date. But I'm sticking to my guns about that- unless they've been together a good long while and it's serious, no random or recent dates allowed.
Take my one uncle for example. Obviously forgetting what century we're in, went and had 6 kids. Plus he had one step-daughter now. If I invited the entire crew, plus dates (except the three little ones) that would cost us $800 to wine and dine them! insanity.
This is definitey the most expensive party I will EVER be throwing in my lifetime.
I'm thinking about this from the reverse side and I can honestly say I wouldn't consider attending a wedding if I had never met the bride or groom. To me, if you're close enough to the parents or grandparents, at some point you should have been introduced to the people getting married or you shouldn't be invited.
I would prefer not to have people I don't know at the wedding, but that leaves sort of a sticky situation, for example: work friends. These are people my FI and I work with (we work at the same company) but do I necessarily want their wife/husband to come whom I've maybe met once at a holiday party? Not really, but, is it rude to just invite co-workers and assume they'll be fine talking to each other? These are the things I fear.
We wanted to keep the guest list down to 60-70, but it looks like there will probably be ~100 people who come. That is just really close friends and family (we both come from big families) so we know everyone who is coming. I couldn't imagine inviting people I didn't know.
@JBing: I wouldn't invite coworkers without their spouse. I would be upset if my husband got invited to a wedding and I wasn't invited (to me, that would be rude).
@JBing: I second that, you can't invite someone to a wedding without their spouse, either you want them there enough to ask both, or you shouldn't invite them at all.
As for the topic, we're only inviting a few SOs that neither of us know. I don't think people's parents/grandparents should be using such a personal occasion to show off, or reunite with people who aren't important to the couple.
My FMIL wants to invite some of her friends that me and my FI have never met. Im hoping that they dont come, because I really dont know why they would even want to.
My mom has invited one or two people I've never met. And her philosophy? "Well, I'm paying for most of it, aren't I?" *rolls eyes* At first I envisioned a small 50 person wedding where I knew everyone, or at least FI did. But now, a few extra people I wouldn't have invited if it was completely up to me, don't really bother me. I can see if you have a really intimate wedding, but with ~100 people, I figure I'll have a lot more on my mind that day.
On the other hand, I'm not big on this for the rehearsal dinner. There will be SO's of people there that I may not have met or will barely know. I'm not thrilled because it's a fairly small dinner (less than 20). But not much I can do. I don't feel right telling people they can bring their boyfriend to the wedding but not to the rehearsal dinner.
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So many brides talk about having to invite random strangers, as though they have no control whatsoever regarding the guestlist. Strangers aren't invited to other parties that are hosted, so why do it for a wedding, which should be for those nearest and dearest, not the mailman's hairdresser's dog's groomer. Are you controlling the guestlist to the point that only those you know will be invited?