Post # 1
My fiance just told me that throughout his entire first marriage (which lasted 3 years), he not only never loved his ex-wife, he didn’t even remotely like her. When I asked him why he even got married he said because of a numeber of reasons such as he had just moved to a new country and felt alone, he liked her family, she manipulated him, he was young, etc. My question is has anyone had a relationship or marriage in which they did not love/like the other person? I can’t seem to wrap my head around the idea that someone would marry someone they didnt even like. I mean, I can understand if intially you like/love the person and then the love gradually fades, but to not like the person from the begining boogles my mind.
Post # 3
@belha88: Its a tough question, it depends on circumstances, I have been in a situation where I was young, vaunrable and confused. Just finishing a relationship of 3 years (my first long term which lasted throughout my degree) for someone twice my age and American (I’m British). At first it was more ‘lust’and something totally new, so think I confused this with ‘love’. It became difficult, he was aggresive and controlling and it was hard to leave or do much about it, he isolated me from my friends and family, I had nowhere to go, no money (he has rinsed me dry) and became so depressed and anxious that I just kept of for a lot longer than I should have, all the while thinking ‘I hate you’! Hard to understand without being in the situation, I can’t have seen myself ever marrying him but when you are in that frame of mind and being controlled by someone I can see it happening, also for some out of convenience…
Post # 4
I can see it happening. You get comfortable and you think/feel like you might be in love or enjoying the relationship, but you don’t realize until much later that it sucks and you hate it. I’ve been in a relationship like that before – 2 years, talked about potential marriage in the future, but then I came to the realization that I really just didn’t like him and he sucked lol so I ended it. It was hard to cut him off as a friend after, too. Took a few more years, but I finally did it. Sometimes people ust infiltrate your life and it’s hard to get out of that relationship and it’s not like it’s all that awful, it’s just that it’s not great and you don’t know any better. I was young then, too.