Anyone no longer friends with some members of bridal party post wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Relationship with bridal party post wedding
    worse : (12 votes)
    31 %
    better : (7 votes)
    18 %
    the same : (18 votes)
    46 %
    other : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    everything is the same with all 6 of mine.

    Post # 3
    4649 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    californiabride2013:  YES. In my first wedding when I had bridesmaids so this was long ago. But one gal I had was pretty rough on other people around us (we worked together) and I don’t know why I thought she’d never do that to me, but she did.

    Basically I got a job elsewhere and one day she called me up and said if I didn’t come to a mutual friend’s going away party at my former work (their current work) that she wouldn’t be friends with me anymore. I seriously thought she was kidding and kind of shrugged it off. I didn’t go because A) I work at a different place! B) I had plans that night C) they didn’t even have a fancy going away thing for me and D) who cares?! It’s WORK people saying good luck at your new job!

    So she decided to dump me as a friend. It was hard to look at the pictures, too, because at the time you think you are choosing very important people, but the truth is, things change. This time around I had a small wedding, no bridal party.  I would just move on.

    Post # 4
    2081 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    californiabride2013:  Nope…our bridal party had only 4 people and they were all brothers and sisters whom we are very close with.

    Post # 5
    1229 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    Yup one of my bridesmaids was a close friend of mine for 8 years. I always knew she was selfish but she really went off the deep end once DH and I got married. She had starated dating her bf around the same time DH and I started dating; shortly after DH proposed, her bf broke up with her. She started to unravel after that but didnt really show her true colors until after our wedding.

    Post # 6
    4583 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I am only having my sister (MOH) and FSIL (BM), so hopefully I don’t have a falling out with either for this to happen.

    But, I do know that some of the BM’s that my FSIL had in her wedding – she is no longer friends with them. That was 10 years ago though, and things can happen.

    Post # 7
    919 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I was MOH in one of my friends weddings… And about a month later – Out of nowhere (from what I thought everything was fine) – she deleted me on facebook and stopped talking to me completely? She was one of my bestfriends so it was out of no where. We are OK now, dont hang out, but are acquatances. I only have one friend in my wedding BC of this… I am wishing I only did family so I wouldnt have that problem, but I have one friend and them my SIL & SIL’s 2 be. I think that is the best option. Its CRAZY how ppl change.

    Post # 8
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    californiabride2013:  My MOH and I are as close as we’ve ever been. My two bridesmaids–one was my SIL, and she ended up apologizing to me at the wedding for being a biotch for nearly 10 months, so our relationship is better.

    My other BM and I are no longer close. I don’t know that I could even really consider her a friend anymore as we don’t hang out and don’t talk unless we cross paths (which is rare). It isn’t because of the wedding though, and I do not regret having her in my wedding. She was an important part of my life at that time, so that is why I had her. She just made some bad personal choices that I couldn’t stand behind, and we let the relationship drift.

    Post # 9
    602 posts
    Busy bee

    I had 3 bridesmaids. They were my best friends since grade school. It’s been a few years since my wedding and I’m still just as close, if not closer, to two of them. The third is still very much my friend, we’ve just drifted a part over the last year or so. We’re very different people and we don’t agree on pretty much any of the hot button issues so it causes some aggravation. I still consider her a good friend, though. 

    Post # 10
    4959 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    californiabride2013:  I had 7. In order to avoid drama, we avoided bringing up my sister in laws (husbands sister)  awful behavior during all wedding events. 

    Now that the wedding is over, we brought up her behavior and asked for an explanation. We have yet to get a response so currently we have decided not to talk to her. 

    All my other BMS and I are great 🙂 Love them. 

    Post # 11
    3095 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    californiabride2013:  Well, this is kind of reversed, but I was MOH in a wedding and now I am no longer friends with the bride. Honestly, I shouldn’t have even been asked to be MOH, I didn’t know her all that well and within months I started getting the feeling she had only asked me because she heard how much money I spent on my sister’s wedding the year before. My FI is her BIL (she is married to FI’s brother) and we all used to hang out all the time. The entire friendship was kind of weird. I was 22, she was 31–her FI was 21. He was her student and they got engaged a year and a half after he left high school and, yes, exactly what you’re thinking–they dated while she was his teacher.

     I am very good at planning parties and she relied very heavily on me to help her plan the wedding. I always made myself available to her, would go with her when her FI (now DH) didn’t want to, helped her organize everything. The night before the wedding, I sat on her living room floor and stuffed 100 luggage tags that were being used as escort cards. She is a teacher and asked three students to be her bridesmaids (they were like sixteen). The other bridesmaids did absolutely nothing to help, she bought the students their dresses, but I had to purchase my own dress (which, okay, fine. Her money, but definitely caused some tension). Me and the other bridesmaid (not the students) spent over $850 to throw her a really lavish bridal shower that was up to her “standards.” She had said, as part of my gift (which she “forgot” to bring to the rehearsal dinner–I was the only one without a gift), she was going to pay for mine and my FI’s hotel room for the night of the wedding, but when we arrived she claimed she had never said that (even though it was announced to both FI and I the night before) and FI had to scramble to come up with the money the next morning before checkout (my mother ended up having to drive an hour away to pay for it because neither FI or I had brought more than $20 to the wedding). Oh, and I never did get my present. After this, their one car broke down and FI and I would drive them to and from work, we stayed over their house for a week at a time in order to let them borrow our car, etc. At the time it was fine because we were close, so it wasn’t an issue to just spend the night and hang out. 

    I was willing to set all of the bull that happened during her wedding aside for the sake of the friendship of not only us, but of my FI and his brother. Maybe she just went utterly insane during the wedding planning process, who knows? Well, at the end of August we planned a Halloween party at her house. Within a week all of my friends mentioned they would not come because of a few reasons (one of them being they had 40+ cats and the house smelled exactly like you think it would). I merely mentioned we were switching it to my house and she completely flipped out. She posted some vague status on Facebook about how much of a bitch I was, she deleted me on Facebook, and she cut FI and I out of her and her husband’s life. FI barely sees or speaks to his brother anymore and even though it’s been nearly two years, the thought of her makes my blood boil. Both my FI and I feel she completely used me for the use of the wedding and the first excuse she got, she dropped me. 

    So, this is a relationship I am not sorry to have lost. 

    Post # 12
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL

    I only got married a month ago, but I was MOH twice, and I don’t talk to either girl anymore. There was no falling out or anything, both just became very wrapped up in their relationships and didn’t make any effort to keep in touch–I tried for years and eventually gave up. My HS best friend I never spoke to again after her wedding day (despite tons of unreturned phone calls) and my college friend kept in less and less touch. After her first child was born, she only talked to me a couple of times and now nothing. In both cases I was the only non-family member who stood up for them, and I don’t think they have a new best friend, I think they just have their husband and are ok with that. 

    We did have some issues with a few members of our bridal party that will probably hurt our relationship with them over time though. As DH put it, “XXX lost points. A lot of points.”

    Post # 13
    877 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s not quite the same thing, but I was once asked to be a guest at a new friends wedding within about 6 or 8 weeks of meeting.  She was a new temporary hire at a school I taught at, and we were social peers, and became fast friends. (She was helping the school system out prior to her wedding as they made a searched for a qualified individual, and was moving after the wedding to a location probably 45 minutes away.). We got along very well, and I had a fun time at her wedding, but the wedding itself was very odd.  As a new friend, I expected to get to know some new people while getting to celebrate my friend’s day and to have a seat on the fringes of the wedding.  Instead I found myself being placed in a position like a personal attendant on the day of the wedding.  It was odd in ways that are difficult to express verbally, but stating that I found myself having the bouquet being tossed directly at me over bridesmaids and finding myself being the only guest interacting with her parents and the new couple at their prompting and not my own seems to be the best way to express it.  I don’t remember why, but I ended up taking things home for her family after the reception.  (I had planned on leaving early, but stayed after finding myself being described and treated as the bride’s new best friend.  And then, I went from choosen friend to ignored basically immediately. My friend had ordered books out of my classroom’s book order form, before the wedding, and refused to respond to my calls to set up a pickup when the order came in.  The wedding was in October, after making multiple calls throughout the schoolyear, I ended up dropping it off at her parents home in May or June basically because I was moving out of state.  I had done nothing to harm our new friendship, and so to go through such a whirlwind change was frustrating.  I don’t think I ever spoke to her again after the wedding, but I left messages about the book order and had attempted to contact her when  the happy couple returned from their honeymoon.  When I think back to the wedding itself, I remember feeling like we were in a half empty ballroom, and that I got the impression that half of the expected guests didn’t arrive.  I now wonder if the bride had some mental health issues that as a new and recent friend I would not have known about, but perhaps she was struggling with depression.

    Post # 14
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    My MOH and I don’t really talk anymore but it was a long time coming. She made a few comments that I found very rude about my wedding and she basically forced a batchelorette party on me but then didn’t plan anything so my then FI and I wasted a weekend we could have spent with our families (we live abroad and returned home for the wedding).

    I feel like a dark cloud has left since we stopped talking and all the negativity is gone! One of my biggest wedding regrets was asking her to be in the wedding! 

    Post # 15
    2893 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    my relationship changed a little bit with one of my bridesmaids. partly because i moved away after my wedding and partly because i was a little disappointed with how she acted during my engagement/wedding planning process, so i sort of felt like i needed a break from her. but it’s been almost 2 years since my wedding and i’m pretty much over it and i moved back to my hometown, so i think we’ll go back to our old friendship.

    things with my maid of honor and other bridesmaid are still the same.

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