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Before we started planning the wedding my parents and FI and I sat down and estimated how much we thought it would cost. This was never a firm budget however, (no one ever said this is the maximum that could be afforded). When we started planning, everything in actually turned out to be more expensive than we thought. I try to look for the best deals on any particular vendors but not having a budget is difficult. I can't go to the florist and say " I have $X to spend. What can you do?" because I never know what my budget for any item is. Thus I feel like I'm on a slippery slope of justifying every purchase by saying "well this was the cheapest." But in reality maybe I should have cut it entirely.
I'm thinking when all is said and done we'll be $10,000 over what we initially thought and that just makes me feel so guilty.
Anyone else in the same position? How do you not get carried away?
I never had a firm budget, but I had a number that I knew I wanted to keep it under. I will be pretty under what I wanted and totally proud of it.
This happened to us as well. We thought we would end up spending X amount total, but when we got quotes for the things that we absolutely wanted we were 10K over too. Personally, it's not that big a deal to us because we both figure that we're only doing this once and why not have exactly what we want. Some people may not be able to do that for financial reasons, but we're fortunate enough that we can and no, I don't feel bad about it one bit. We both work hard and it's ours to spend. :)
lol, as per my post I made this afternoon in the forum, I am riding a slippery slope with my not so firm budget!
We didn't have a set budget when we started, but we did have limits on what we would spend for each item. I actually set the limits and kept looking until I felt I found what we wanted within said limits. If something was a bit over what I had set the limit at, I either cut back on something else or I cut something. As we got further in and figured out what things would really cost, we set a budget that we are not allowing ourselves to go over. As of now we are approximately $2,000.00 under that budget. And we are not settling on things just because we have to. Through perseverance and research, we have been able to find some stellar deals.
Well my parents had just helped my brother with planning his wedding so we had a good idea of what things cost. We didn't set a max though... just a goal of 30K. I think we came in slightly over. HOnestly I'm not sure. My dad tracked all the spending. For each item I would basically tell him.. I found something I like and it costs $x does that work? And he would say yay or nay.
I don't have a firm budget either. Only a guesstimate of what everything will cost. I know we're going to spend more than we should. I think the two of us are too stubborn to sit down and actually talk budget wise. He's also said that he wants me to do whatever I want (except go to the extreme) because I deserve it.
I am planning to save money anywhere and everywhere I can. I am doing a ton of DIY projects and such.
We don't exactly have a set budget overall, but we have a monthly amount that we pre-determined and then each month get what we need out of that amount.
In the end, our entire wedding and reception will be under $2k. I'm a very frugal person so I shop around several places for each thing to find the best deals. A few things have been DIY, like my flowers. I didn't personally make them, my DOC (who is also the officiant) made them. We lucked out and found a venue with wedding packages that include officiant services, flowers, music, and chairs.
We never had a firm budget either. Well, let me clarify - we did have a mental picture of how much we wanted to spend, but when I started getting actual quotes, that number was shot out of the water. We ended up spending 10K more than what my desired budget was. Maybe it's an LA thing??
In any case - I figured out how much I wanted to spend on things like flowers by figuring out what a reasonable cost was. ie: Floral centerpieces were $50 instead of the almost $200 for the towering cascade of orchids.
I went dress shopping not being sure of what I could get for my money and realized I wasn't happy with anything at David's Bridal, was ok with $1000 dresses at local boutiques, and wasn't willing to pay the $5K for the designer dress - even though it took my breath away.
If I was ever asked "what's your budget for 'x'", I'd respond with, "I'm not sure, I'm trying to figure it out." Getting different estimates really helped me figure that out.
I guess my point is I figured out what options were out there and then found the cheapest option that I was willing to settle for... it's easy to keep adding little things here or there or justifying purchases.
I think it's all perspective. Another bride may see my budget and breakdown and think I was carried away by spending that much on flowers or a dress, etc. - but another one might think I got a really good deal. It all comes down to what you want and how much you are willing to compromise and/or be creative. I think there are ways to accomplish an overall feel without breaking the bank.
I think as long as you tried to make your money stretch the furthest and whomever footing the bill was ok with the expense, there's nothing to feel guilty about!
We don't have a firm budget as of yet either. We don't have a lot of money to begin with and we are just starting to save a little from each paycheck towards the wedding. But we have decided that we will NOT charge anything. Everything that we buy will come from money we already have. We really want to keep it under 5,000 and I think that's pretty doable. I found a venue for only $450. And a photographer for $500. I'm not sure i'm going to go with those specific ones I found, but I have realized that it is doable.
ETA: although, if you check back with me in a year, I might not be telling you the same story, haha
i am exactly like you. i never had a budget because i didnt know how much things would cost until i started needing them. i didnt even know what i needed. lets just say that when i got engaged, i thought i could do a destination wedding for $5000 and that meant staying for 2 weeks in the destination. well lo and behold, i didnt factor in things like photographer, DRESS, um, you know, things like that. so i said, ok $10000 sounds reasonable. then i got carried away and i still am getting more carried away the closer i get to the wedding.
i was pretty set on $10000 for the longest time, and in the end, my wedding including EVERYTHING is costing about $14500, so that is almost $10 000 over what i thought when i got engaged and almost $5000 over what i thought was reasonable. i do feel a bit guilty. but at the same time, i am not paying for anything i cant afford (sort of, i mean i stopped going out for lunch with my coworkers and am basically a hermit because i am trying not to spend any money on anything else). and i have said flat out said no to some thing that i knew were un-reasonable, not worth it, or over priced. so ya., that kinda how i have been doing things....but now i am adding up the gifts we got. we have almost $2000 in cash/contributions, so THEN i say i only spent $12500 on the wedding, which makes me feel better :)
Our budget was 'lets hope we don't go over 20' but never really had a set plan on how to do that. we had no idea how much anything for a wedding cost and thought we could be under. when all is said and done we'll be 5 over that. Not really that big of a deal though it would have been nice to be under.
We didn't have a firm budget either, but were committed to keeping things as reasonable as possible for the type of wedding we wanted. Basically for each item, I researched and figured out what was the "low to average" cost in my area for a good quality whatever, and looked for that.
I did keep a running spreadsheet with my estimates of what I expected things to cost, and replaced those with actual costs as I booked each item. We made sure we were able to cover the total estimated cost without going into debt (or spending more than we were comfortable with), and adjusted other items as necessary.
@tksjewelry: I'm not sure I'll be proud of myself. LMAO.
we don't have a firm budget. we have a set amount that we would like to stay under, though. we created a large wedding budget spreadsheet, and are keeping track of every expense. we're spending on what's most important to us first, so we can see how much we want to spend on things that are less important. so far it's worked out pretty well!
My parents are paying for about 95% of the wedding and haven't given me a set budget yet. FI is pretty frugal so I've gotten very good at hunting for deals, but on more than one occasion when I found the "cheapest" option, my dad has said "we'll let's add this too even though it's going to increase the price". My mom and I have an idea of where we want to stay, but if dad is okay with going over, we aren't going to complain.
No firm budget here either. I didn't believe in making one. I'm just trying to do the absolute best I can in every part of it and it's all going to add up to whatever it will be. I think it was unrealistic to try to set a budget since 1. the range of *everything* is huge and it would be unrealistic to set a budget that is lower than what can be done and 2. Im already not doing anything outrageous and not willing to give up on things I really want.
We don't have a firm budget, but knowing what we realistically can/can't afford definitely helps so we're trying to keep everything under at least $4K. A large portion of the cost will be airfare and staying in a nice suite at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. I think we can pull it off because we're just paying for a small wedding (with no guests) in Las Vegas and my FMIL has kindly offered to pay for the reception when we return home. Plus my best friend and family are chipping in to throw us a wedding shower.
Still, I don't have a firm number in my head. I'm mainly trying to keep it all under $4K. That is going to be a bit of a challenge for us as it is because we have a lot of debt from college still and quite a few bills. I really hope that people give us some monetary gifts.
We didn't have a budget...we just figured out how much the things we wanted cost, added up everything, and that was our "budget". We didn't go into it saying "We only want to spend x".
our budget is basically our tax return! haha!
my parents have offered to pay for the reception food/bar, etc., but everything else is on us. dress, flowers, music, photos, decor, invites. I'm trying to stay realistic and not choose the over-the-top items, and renting as much as possible. It's adding up quick though!! My budget spreadsheet gets tweeked every day. May have to cut out the OOT bags....which would be a big disappointment.
Well, my parents are generously paying for my wedding, so I am doing my best to be responsible because I don't like the idea of being frivolous with other people's money. They didn't set a budget for me, but that's no reason to go hog-wild.
FI has always stressed the importance of not spending tons of money on inconsequential things that we don't need, so I've been working really hard on getting the best bang-for-mom-and-dad''s-buck and running it past them.
All in all, we will probably come in around $20,000 (with absolutely every aspect included in that price) which is think is pretty good for a full sit-down dinner for about 250 people.
We don't have a firm budget. When we started planning, my fiance was kind of horrified that people spend more than $10,000 on weddings. But he wanted an entire destination wedding weekend with a Saturday night open bar full dinner reception. Clearly there was a mismatch.
He gets really upset at the idea of spending large sums of money, but the truth is we have a fair amount we can afford to spend on this (in part because of that). I am keeping a vague mental tab on things, but I don't have any formal budget or tracking of what we've spent because he'd freak if he found out the total bill - he HATES money even though we're in good shape financially. There's a # where I'll start worrying about cost if we get close to it, but for now it's just a matter of "do we feel like paying $x for y thing" and trying to figure out what's really worthwhile to us and what's not.
We don't really have a budget.
My parents have an idea of what they'd like to spend (or the number we should think we're spending), but are fully comfortable/expecting to have to pay up to 50% more than that.
We're just thinking smaller so we have plenty of room to go over.
ETA: My FI is a huge negotiator/bargain hunter. Also his godmother is our caterer (and does weddings all the time) so she's been a big help in knowing what things "should" cost. Finally, we are making sure we have everything we want for our wedding, but evaluating all decisions and purchases as they come along.
For example, we are going to buy our own alcohol and bring it in rather than have the caterer provide it. That'll cut down on her markup on the alcohol.
My parents are paying and haven't set a firm budget, but I know about how much they want to spend so I'm trying to keep everything in check. I'm a frugal person in general so I'm actually starting to freak out about how much things cost (even though I'm not paying!). The original number was $30k for ~200 guests, but if we can keep it under $40k, I'll be happy.
I feel so guilty about it I even told my parents that my FI and I would help pay and they laughed at me. :(
@TinyTina: I have kind of a guilty conscience about it as well. My parents aren't poor or anything, but we certainly couldn't be called wealthy. My Mom told me she had been secretly saving for a while because she knew she at least wanted to help, but it now looks like they are going to pay for the whole she-bang.
It's funny....I'm the one freaking out about money too! My Mom doesn't seem concerned, but I'm always like "OMG HOW MUCH?!?!?!"
I think not having a budget is a big mistake. Actually a huge mistake. No judgement here whatsoever - it's just a math thing. A budget doesn't limit the bride, it just gives her a guide. The standard is 50% of budget to reception, and about 10% to the other areas like dress, favor/invitation/flowers/photographer, etc.
Telling vendors you don't know what your budget is wastes their time and just adds confusion. Maybe I'm German but my goal is to not go into debt and not have awkwardness with our families. It's 2011 not 2006 and everyone has tightened their belts, even the mega rich.
Having a wedding in L.A. on a tight budget is a real chore so I'm tickled pink when I stay within budget. Maybe I'm like a kid but guidelines and boundaries have kept me really grounded. So far, I've only gone over budget on one line item and it's by $40 so I can cut on a different line to recoup the loss.
Living on a budget allows a bride to have her wedding on a budget as well. To be respectful of family is to be respectful of the budget. Going 5k or 10k over budget for a wedding seems really unnecessary when there are budgeting tools available online today.
My budget isn't really firm. My strategy is to look at each vendor and pay less than I would feel guilty for and more than I would feel is a waste of money. For example, I would feel guilty if I spent $5/ fancy designer fork, but like $0.05/ mismatched plastic forks was a waste because it would take away from the effort I put into the other elements on the table.
@MrsCarnival: Haha yea... when we first got engaged FI and I were under the impression that we'd be paying for most of it. We thought my parents would help out, but then said they wanted to pay for the whole thing we were floored! When I talk about how much something costs my dad's response is usually "If that's what it costs, then that's what it costs". My response is more like "That's insane. I'm not letting you pay $XXX for that!"
@sfchick: Telling vendors you don't know what your budget is wastes their time and just adds confusion.
I have to respectfully disagree. Vendors that have been in the business for years generally know what they are going to charge for their services. A bride who is doing this the first time has no idea what to expect in terms of cost. (At least I certainly didn't!!) When I ask a vendor how much their services are and they give me the run around by asking ME about MY budget... I consider that to be a waste of time.
We don't have a firm budget, to begin with my parents offered me a flat fee of 12,000 to use toward the wedding, the rest we would have to come up with on our own. But after we meet with my FI's parents they came to the agreement of splitting the cost down the middle for all expenses. So, I am able to pick out stuff I like and as long as it is reasonable both set of parents ahve been very generous in helping us make this day our own. FI and I do cover some of the individual cost as well, all gifts, honeymoon, rings, guest book, ect.
@TinyTina: true, you've got a point. In order to not waste vendors time, I ask them to send me their rates before making an appointment. Sometimes brides come off as naive when it comes to pricing of things imho - especially dresses, flowers, and cocktails. :)
Our "budget" is the complete opposite of what Randy recomends on "Say Yes to the Dress". Randy says that you should never try on a dress that's beyond your budget. I like to try on everything, see what I like, find out how much it costs, and decide whether I think it's worth the cost. To me, it's more about value rather than cost.
With that said, I am a frugal person - so I will often go with the cheaper option because I rarely think that the more expensive item is worth the extra costs.
No real budget, but like a PP, my family is paying for 95% of the wedding. I have a cash reserve set aside that should pay for everything unless I want to do something ridiculously fancypants. FI and I will pick up the difference for every dollar we spend over this gift.
I don't have a firm budget either. Our parents are giving us $3000 each and we are using our tax returns to cover the rest of the reception cost. But we are using our extra money (after paying bills) to pay stuff off as we go along. I figured doing it this way would be easier for me. So LORD only knows how much my TOTAL cost will be. I don't even think I would want to know! lol
When we first started planning, we were looking at a budget of $25 k, but now that everything is almost done, it's going to be pushing $30 k :(
@thesejoys: I'm with you on value > cost. Sounds similar to the way I planned.. see what the options are and decide what gives the best value, while still keeping things reasonable.
Also, some vendors do have flexibility to work with someone's budget but that generally means adjusting what you get in the end. I'd rather find out the price of the different options first and then decide what I consider worth the cost.
It annoys me to no end when a vendor wants to know my budget rather than giving me a price.. makes me feel like they are just going to charge me whatever number I say!
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