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I feel the same way! I told my friends that I don't really want a shower or bachelorette party and they told me I don't have a choice! I'm thinking that I may try to get them to throw a couple's shower, so my FI can share the spotlight with me....we'll see how that goes over!
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Hello! Include me in this one... I did not want a shower or bachlorette party.. but I did agree to a Jack & Jill (co-ed shower / engagement party) because we have so many friends and family members we cant afford to invite to the formal wedding...
But, no-no on the shower.. just not for me :-)
I don't really enjoy being the center of attention, so I'm not too into the idea of a shower or bachelorette party. And while this might sound a little strange, I don't think I have many friends who would be good enough to throw one, and those who would live far away from me. I'm still a long, long way away from actually getting married and have already gotten quite used to the idea that I will not be having either one, and I'm cool with that.
In addition to that, I really don't want to have a registry. It's going to be several years before my FI and I will even consider buying a house. (I want to live in apartments in the city for as long as possible, because I love the city and hate the suburbs. We're also considering a cross-country move within a few years and the last thing we need is more stuff to move). In the meantime we really wouldn't have anywhere to store registry-type gifts, and we really just don't need anything. I would rather people give us money, and if they're not comfortable with that, they don't have to give us anything at all.
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I really don't want a shower, but I know my FI's family will INSIST. I really don;t even like going to formal showers; I would rather a cocktail-style party instead.
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I had a bachelorette party. Drinks with friends? I couldn't turn that down ;)... but I am a distance bride and my friends are spread between two places 750 miles away. One of my bridesmaids asked to throw a Seattle shower, but I just turned it down. I feel like there is already enough attention being paid to me/us, and I'd rather just have our friends be able to make it to the wedding... so no local shower for me!
I would prefer a non-traditional shower, but my family gets too much joy out of the themed present-opening fest. I could not deprive them of that!
I am looking forward to my bachelorette - a weekend at the beach with the gals. But, no strippers and no lists of things to do in bars will be involved!
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I don't mind having a shower. However it does feel really awkward to sit and open presents in front of people and having all eyes on you :/
We definitely don't feel comfortable having a bachelor or bachelorette party either. We are thinking about just going out with all of our friends one night instead..or maybe do a camping trip/party. I think that would be much more fun anyway.
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I really am not looking forward to a bachelorette party. My friend as very set on having one and as much as I love them they are WILD AND CRAZY!! I am the complete opposite. I am more of the 1950 housewife who loves to bake, keep the house, clean, sew and craft. Don't get me wrong I love going out with my GF just not to clubs or strip clubs. I am all for a night in a hotel suite with good food, good friends, good drinks and laughing! THat is what I think is the best! I hope they do this!
Me too.. I totally don't want a bachelorette party. I'm in my 30's so I feel like "been there, done that" with the crazy partying. I'm too old to be acting like a fool out on the town. Most of my friends are married and with families..so the the number of folks game for "girls night out" is a bit limited.
GAG ME! I dont want a shower because I do not have time to go register and I dont want to invite half of my FI friends wives, well because I dont really care for them. I went to most of their weddings and never received a thank you card for anything and I am slightly annoyed by that and plus they are people that can stand to be away from their mans side for 5 seconds with out getting bitchy or wondering what he is doing. Very annoying and I just never liked showers. Now the bachelorette party is disgusting to me because no one will do it they way I want. I just want the girls to go to dinner then out for drinks or even a wine tasting party, but no, they want to do the sex games/trivia, have the private parts dangling from my head in some form of jewlry or wear some stupid crown or feather boa. Now I went downtown the other night to a piano bar here in Columbus, OH and I must say there were about 5 B Parties going on and I am sorry it was all so pathetic to me. I just rather not do it, I dont have the time nor do I trust anyone to do it my way.
Thank you for the post! I don't like any gift giving occasion that is veiled as a "shower". Unless it's a close friend (like, my wedding party and that's probably it) I wouldn't entertain the idea of going, and in the case of closer friend, have a 3 drink minimum when I did go. I am getting pressured into a shower, and hope that some of my bridesmaids can really help reign it in and not put me in that awkward gift grabbing situation. To people that love showers, telling them that you don't want one or like them is like speaking a foreign language!
I don't want any of it either!
My thing is that I just want to get married...I don't want all of this extra stuff- I just want to get married!! Plus I'm not much for opening presents in front of everyone. My ideal shower would be co-ed and laid back.
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I don't want a shower nor a bachelorette party. I don't like being the center of attention, and it's going to be hard enough to have everyone's eyes on me at the wedding :o I've told my MOH that I don't want any party and I really hope that she doesn't try to make it a surprise party instead...
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I don't want a shower either! My FMIL wanted to throw me one but I told her it made me really uncomfortable and I think she's okay with that. I hope so! I just never wanted to be a traditional bride and hate being the center of attention. I sometimes feel like I am the only one who feels this way!
I'm considering not having a bacheloretter party because I thought they were all wild and stuff and involved lots of drinking and flirting but it has been brought to my attention that it can be whatever one I want... like maybe a sleep over watching girly movies and eating cookies and ice cream to wee hours of the night.
As for the bridal shower... we are thinking about having a wedding shower (where the groom is included) because I like being with my guy and I think it would be more fun with the two of us.
Both of these situations do kind of show the person I am... I don't like being the center of attention and I like things low key. ^_^
We're not have a bachelor/bachelorette party. =) It's just not us! (Of course, I joke that the sleepover I'm hosting where my MOH and my sister and I will all bake and decorate cupcakes until the cows come home is my bachelorette party, but really it's not!)
We'll definitely have a shower though! (But I hope to have it be a co-ed one.)
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I actually have no interest in a shower. For some reason it sounds awfully boring for both me and my guests to watch me sit around and open packages of sheets and place settings. I think some people were disappointed that I wasn't having one. I ended up having a surprise engagement party like shower thing early on and that was really nice. I think it was cool because it was just people hanging out.
I recently have turned the corner on bachelorette parties, so we'll what happens there.
I'm having two showers - one with my close friends and one with all my family. They're best kept seperate.
I don't want a "traditional" bachelorette though of super drunkeness, barhopping, tiaras, feather boas and making a fool of myself. I'm sure five years ago that would have been really fun but now I'm over it. A night out of just drinks with the girls would be great, something very casual and nothing cringe-worthy.
I didn't want a shower or a bachelorette party, but my sister (MOH) insists. We are going to do a couples shower instead, around Halloween. That way it can be more of a Halloween party and less of a "give us gifts" party.
The bachelorette party has actually turned in to a bachelorette weekend. We are going to rent a house in Gruene. That way we can do some shopping, catch some live music, and just relax.
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I am so gald there are other brides like me! :) I dont want a shower or bachlerette party either. I hate being the center of attention. I think I would like to just do something like go out to dinner and a movie with some of our close friends.
I traded my shower for money toward a photographer. I think it was a good choice, especially being as half of my bridesmaids are not local and wouldn't have been able to make it anyway.
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yah i am kinda in the same boat, honestly just care bout the wedding and not about the parties that come before that
Yikes, I don't want either! I hate being the center of attention and I'm not really a "girls girl". I love my mom, fmil, fsil, and a few close gals, but no thanks! I am thinking about having a girls day with my MOH/BFF doing spa-y stuff, but as a fun day out or a thank you to her, not as a thing just for me.
I absolutely dreaded both of mine but knew I would be happy that I did them in the end. Since we had a destination wedding, it was the only time that certain friends and family members got to celebrate with us, so we didn't want to leave them out. In the end, I'm really happy I had them (2 showers and a bachelorette party), even if I do hate being the center of attention!
For those of you who also hate being the center of attention, bringing your FI/husband can be a great way to divert attention. Mr. K has no problems being in the spotlight, so I brought him along to one of my showers, and it helped take the pressure off of me!
Am I weird? I want--and am totally looking forward to--both! Maybe the BP more than the shower, but I want the whole experience. I'm only doing this once, after all! :)
I was a bit nervous leading up to the shower but I hadn't thought about how awkward it would be for everyone to stare at you while you open gifts (until we were in the car on the way there). I hadn't thought about it because I enjoy going to my friends showers, I enjoy giving my friends gifts they will use and furnish their new apt/house and lives together. I've never thought my friends were "gift-grabby" or anything, so I'm not sure why I cast those doubts on mysef when it was my "turn".
I dont' think it's fair to say women who have a shower/bachelorette or look forward to those things are (in general) more focused on those parties over the wedding (aren't we all focused on our marriages?). It's just a tradition and I know for me, I'm most looking forward to the time spent with friends. I have several groups of friends and it's rare they all hang out, let alone all the girls hang out together. So for me, it was wonderful to have my close friends and family all together - the sense of love and friendship was pretty overwhelming.
I've pretty much been out of the area for 2 years, so the girls that I invited/came are the ones who i've had to work to maintain those friendships between emails and skype calls. So I have to say, the shower was just such a nice time to see everyone together.
I'm also excited for the bachelorette party where my MOH has been askign my opinion on everything. She knows no phallic thingamjigs, no super excessive drinking etc. We're planning an amazing race style scavenger hunt that might not be your "typical" party but I'm really excited about it.
I love planning parties for other people, but I really dont like being the center of attention, so I'm looking forward to my sister's events more than my own!
I definitely want a shower and a bachelorette party. My fear is that I'll have to plan it all myself, though :(
I hate asking for things like that. I feel like it's the kind of thing that other people should plan for you.
I certainly am not having a bridal shower - we already have way too much stuff as it is!
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The recent thread about fear of attention on the wedding day got me to thinking about how I never really wanted a shower or bachelorette party. And if we have kids one day, I don't want a baby shower. I just don't want the attention or people to go out of their way. Of course I love to plan parties for other people though.
Am I crazy? Anyone else not want a shower or bachelorette party?
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