Post # 1
- Wedding: March 2005 - Westside Loft, New York
The recent thread about fear of attention on the wedding day got me to thinking about how I never really wanted a shower or bachelorette party. And if we have kids one day, I don’t want a baby shower. I just don’t want the attention or people to go out of their way. Of course I love to plan parties for other people though.
Am I crazy? Anyone else not want a shower or bachelorette party?
Post # 3
I feel the same way! I told my friends that I don’t really want a shower or bachelorette party and they told me I don’t have a choice! I’m thinking that I may try to get them to throw a couple’s shower, so my FI can share the spotlight with me….we’ll see how that goes over!
Post # 4
Hello! Include me in this one… I did not want a shower or bachlorette party.. but I did agree to a Jack & Jill (co-ed shower / engagement party) because we have so many friends and family members we cant afford to invite to the formal wedding…
But, no-no on the shower.. just not for me 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t really enjoy being the center of attention, so I’m not too into the idea of a shower or bachelorette party. And while this might sound a little strange, I don’t think I have many friends who would be good enough to throw one, and those who would live far away from me. I’m still a long, long way away from actually getting married and have already gotten quite used to the idea that I will not be having either one, and I’m cool with that.
In addition to that, I really don’t want to have a registry. It’s going to be several years before my FI and I will even consider buying a house. (I want to live in apartments in the city for as long as possible, because I love the city and hate the suburbs. We’re also considering a cross-country move within a few years and the last thing we need is more stuff to move). In the meantime we really wouldn’t have anywhere to store registry-type gifts, and we really just don’t need anything. I would rather people give us money, and if they’re not comfortable with that, they don’t have to give us anything at all.
Post # 6
I really don’t want a shower, but I know my FI’s family will INSIST. I really don;t even like going to formal showers; I would rather a cocktail-style party instead.
Post # 7
I had a bachelorette party. Drinks with friends? I couldn’t turn that down ;)… but I am a distance bride and my friends are spread between two places 750 miles away. One of my bridesmaids asked to throw a Seattle shower, but I just turned it down. I feel like there is already enough attention being paid to me/us, and I’d rather just have our friends be able to make it to the wedding… so no local shower for me!
Post # 8
I would prefer a non-traditional shower, but my family gets too much joy out of the themed present-opening fest. I could not deprive them of that!
I am looking forward to my bachelorette – a weekend at the beach with the gals. But, no strippers and no lists of things to do in bars will be involved!
Post # 9
I don’t mind having a shower. However it does feel really awkward to sit and open presents in front of people and having all eyes on you :/
We definitely don’t feel comfortable having a bachelor or bachelorette party either. We are thinking about just going out with all of our friends one night instead..or maybe do a camping trip/party. I think that would be much more fun anyway.
Post # 10
I really am not looking forward to a bachelorette party. My friend as very set on having one and as much as I love them they are WILD AND CRAZY!! I am the complete opposite. I am more of the 1950 housewife who loves to bake, keep the house, clean, sew and craft. Don’t get me wrong I love going out with my GF just not to clubs or strip clubs. I am all for a night in a hotel suite with good food, good friends, good drinks and laughing! THat is what I think is the best! I hope they do this!
Post # 11
Me too.. I totally don’t want a bachelorette party. I’m in my 30’s so I feel like "been there, done that" with the crazy partying. I’m too old to be acting like a fool out on the town. Most of my friends are married and with families..so the the number of folks game for "girls night out" is a bit limited.
Post # 12
GAG ME! I dont want a shower because I do not have time to go register and I dont want to invite half of my FI friends wives, well because I dont really care for them. I went to most of their weddings and never received a thank you card for anything and I am slightly annoyed by that and plus they are people that can stand to be away from their mans side for 5 seconds with out getting bitchy or wondering what he is doing. Very annoying and I just never liked showers. Now the bachelorette party is disgusting to me because no one will do it they way I want. I just want the girls to go to dinner then out for drinks or even a wine tasting party, but no, they want to do the sex games/trivia, have the private parts dangling from my head in some form of jewlry or wear some stupid crown or feather boa. Now I went downtown the other night to a piano bar here in Columbus, OH and I must say there were about 5 B Parties going on and I am sorry it was all so pathetic to me. I just rather not do it, I dont have the time nor do I trust anyone to do it my way.
Post # 13
Thank you for the post! I don’t like any gift giving occasion that is veiled as a "shower". Unless it’s a close friend (like, my wedding party and that’s probably it) I wouldn’t entertain the idea of going, and in the case of closer friend, have a 3 drink minimum when I did go. I am getting pressured into a shower, and hope that some of my bridesmaids can really help reign it in and not put me in that awkward gift grabbing situation. To people that love showers, telling them that you don’t want one or like them is like speaking a foreign language!
Post # 14
I don’t want any of it either!
My thing is that I just want to get married…I don’t want all of this extra stuff- I just want to get married!! Plus I’m not much for opening presents in front of everyone. My ideal shower would be co-ed and laid back.
Post # 15
I don’t want a shower nor a bachelorette party. I don’t like being the center of attention, and it’s going to be hard enough to have everyone’s eyes on me at the wedding 😮 I’ve told my MOH that I don’t want any party and I really hope that she doesn’t try to make it a surprise party instead…
Post # 16
I don’t want a shower either! My FMIL wanted to throw me one but I told her it made me really uncomfortable and I think she’s okay with that. I hope so! I just never wanted to be a traditional bride and hate being the center of attention. I sometimes feel like I am the only one who feels this way!