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If I were giving birth I'm not sure I would want him in the room to see me like that. I have also heard that sometimes you might poop and I would really not want him to see that. I thnk I might prefer my BFF or someone else, would have prefered my grandmother for sure but she is gone now :( Does this make me weird for not wanting him to see me when I'm not all pretty btw he has never seen me without makeup... maybe once only.
I mean, I dont want my husband to see all the goods in their worst form, but I want him in the room for support. I plan to tell him to stay by my head and I don't think he'll have a problem with that!
Yes, most women do poop themselves (you are using the same muscles to push the baby) but I've heard the nurses dont even acknowledge it, they just clean it up right away and most of the time the woman doesnt even know its happened
ETA - he has only seen you without makeup once? How is that possible?! Do you put makeup on right when you wake up?
I always think that one of the greatest things about being married is being able to totally let your guard down with someone else and rely on them to love and take care of you no matter what. And while I certainly like to look nice as often as I can, I love the fact that DH can handle seeing me not only at my best, but at "I-have-the-flu-and-I-want-to-die" and "I-have-a-newborn-and-haven't-showered-in-a-week" and that I don't need to feel self-conscious or embarrassed about it.
As PitBullLover pointed out, it's possible for him to be with you in the room and helping you through labor without being all up in your lady-business, if that's what you prefer. He can certainly sit by your head and hold your hand and face you (i.e. face AWAY from the action). If he did that, he'd never know if you did something like poop on the table (it's not like they announce it).
Have you talked to your SO about it? I know that a lot of guys really love the chance to be there for the birth of their children, and if he thinks he can handle it, I'd probably trust him on that. If you are genuinely ok with him NOT being there, I'd also let him know that there's no pressure if he thinks he'd be more comfortable waiting outside for the main event.
DH has joked that he'll just wait out in the hallway and will come in when I am done! But that isn't happening ....
I have a feeling that DH will want to stay up by my head though. And he won't be able to see anything from there.
Although really, no husband is going to think anything of seeing you in labor and giving birth. You are having his child! What could be more amazing in his eyes than that?
I agree with PPs, a lot of guys choose to just stay up by your head, they don't have to see anything else. My head is what's going to need the comforting and support anyway, haha. (Though we're far from that point in our lives.)
I'm wondering how he's never seen you without makeup?? My FI has seen me in every crappy state possible, lol.
@PitBulLover: I heard this as well! Everybody's scared of the poop, but the nurses supposedly scoop it out of the way super fast and act like nothing happened.
@USAandKSA: Your hubby loves you enough to make a baby with you! Seeing you laboring over that amazing baby should just cement that further.
To be honest, I was in much worse shape during the first couple weeks after birth than I was during labor. After birth, you're bleeding all over the place, have leaking/seriously swollen breasts and cracked/bleeding nipples, uncomfortable and sore, and really emotional (i.e. crying at random points and getting upset for really stupid reasons). During labor, I had an epidural, and slept for like 6 hours. Even pushing was reasonably easy, just physically exhausting. I also never pooped while pushing. :) I was cleaned out long before I even got to the hospital, lol.
It's different for everyone, but I do think it's important to consider your partner's views, as well. Is your Fi ok with potentially not in being in the room while his child is born?
When you are in labor the last thing you are thinking about is what you look like. I am so glad to have shared that moment with him. All he ever talks about from the experiences is seeing his children for the first time and getting to cut the umbilical cords. If you do not have him there he will be missing that first moment were you bond with your new baby, you are really robbing him of an incredible experience by not wanting him there.
Serious? I would NEVER think of not having him their? And frankly if he wants to be there you can NOT deny him that. It's the birth of his child..
I think it's whatever works best for you and what you're most comfortable with... a very important factor in having a smooth birth b/c if you're uncomfortable your body kinda halts it's self and can stop.... ugh.
I'm on the other end where I want DH to "catch" our little one... if I could have a completely un-assisted birth I would. lol
In the moment, you aren't going to care how you look. My SO saw things before the emergency c/s, but he's cool.lol There's no way I would have NOT wanted him there,nor would he have NOT stayed for the birth of his daughter.
When FI and I have a baby, he has put in to stay at my head, encouraging me, and holding my hand.
I think it is a major issue that you have a problem with your SO not seeing you at your best. You plan on spending a lifetime with you. You will get sick. You might even get depressed. Life is a roller coaster. You and your SO should be together for better or WORSE. Even in the looks department. Looks fade real fast when you start talking about a lifetime.
I just gave birth a week and a half ago. My husband was there with me the whole thing. And believe me he doesn't handle all that stuff very well. So I was very surprised he handled it so well!
He stayed up by my head and really didn't see a whole lot. I am so glad he was there, he was my moral support considering I went 7 weeks early giving birth to our son.
I would let your husband be there, he will be great support!
I don't think I will want anyone in the room with me except my doctor and the nurses... maybe I will change my mind when I'm actually pregnant.
I would never want to deprive someone from seeing their child come into this world. Plus, I'd need his support, for sure.
I want him in there but he will NOT be getting the view of my lady parts. He will be up top with me. I have heard horror stories about men never being able to get over that image and have issues getting sexually aroused because of it afterwards. He can cut the cord and all that but he won't be down there.
Do what works for you. In the past, lots of men waited outside of the birthing room and no one batted an eye.
If I'm going through all the trouble of pushing our baby through my loins, he can go through all the trouble of standing there while I do it. Men get off so darn easy!
ETA - If he has a problem looking at my lady parts, he needs to get over it. Ugh seriously...this stuff pisses me off. HELLOOOO - I'm pushing OUR child through my body...man up.
I would do as others mentioned, it's definitely a joint decision between both of you...if I suggested my husband wait outside, he would be seriously upset! But he will be holding my hand, I don't want him catching...hell I can't judge you, my husband still doesn't believe that I poop.
@BackyardLoveBird: you're my new favorite!
He's definitely going to be in the room! I don't expect him to watch the entire process "down there", but he will be there at the head of the bed holding my hand, wiping my brow, giving me ice chips, feeding me grapes (ok, maybe not that last one). 
@USAandKSA: I can't believe your husband has only seen you without makeup once... do you wear makeup to bed??
I don't think I'd care! My dad actually delivered me so he was ALL in it. My mom says didn't bother her at all, you get caught up in the moment and your dignity is the last thing you're thinking of!
I kept my husband up by my head and specifically requested NO MIRROR when I was squeezing my baby out. I don't think I would have gotten over that image. lol So yeah, there's an easy way to have your husband in the room without exposing him to anything he doesn't want to see.
And yeah, you aren't going to give two craps about what you look like or even who sees you naked and pooping on the table. You will be way too caught up to care. I can't even remember who all was in that room. Could have been an entire team of residents for all I know. lol
Honestly, while I was giving birth (like sitting there pushing the baby out) I was worried about pooing. I commented about how I was trying to push without pooing, which obviously is impossible, and asked if I had poo'd already. So yes, even with a baby coming out it was on my mind.
But really, he put that baby in there so he should help me get her out! And if he has to watch me poo to do so, than so be it. (FYI, there was no poo.)
Plus, his reaction to seeing her come out was priceless. He was just so amazed and excited. I would never want to deprive him of that.
I would expect him to be there for support, but I think I would want him to stay at the "upper half"!
Um, he better be all up in there if he wants me to birth his big headed child.
But really, he put that baby in there so he should help me get her out! And if he has to watch me poo to do so, than so be it. (FYI, there was no poo.)
@artbee: Love your response! Yeah, DH will definitely be present when I am giving birth some day. It's not even a question.
I think I would prefer him to stay by my head, but if he catches a glimpse down there during, its only him thats gotta get that image outta his head :P
@SugerPlum: I thought I'd want him on the upper half too, but during labor my curiosity got the best of me. I needed him "down there" to give me the play by play and tell me what the top of her head looked like. They offered me a mirror, but I was too weirded out to see for myself.
My husband watched me give birth in all my bloody, sweating, makeup free glory, and it was awesome. One of the best moments of our marriage and really, entire lives.Marriage is not about wearing a mask.
@KatyElle: And it's comments like these that make me look for the "like" button!
I know that childbirth is not glamorous but I absolutely couldnt imagine not having my husband there. I've also heard about the possibility of pooping while pushing but i really dont think its an issue at all.. he can stay by my head or you can watch if he wants. I think being able to share such a magical moment would only bring us closer.
Whenever this happens for us, I really don't want him seeing anything, but I do really want him there holding my hand and helping me get through it.
He's definitely going to be there- but I might make him stay up with me not "down there". He's already seen me at my worst and at my best and this will just be another chapter in our story.
I wouldn't have missed the look on his face for anything... being there to see his child come into the world was one of the most amazing moments of his life.
I dont mind my hubby in there.
But what I DONT want is ANYBODY else in the room!!! Im talking about family and friends. My FI's brothers wife gave birth earlier this year and I heard that my FSIL and FMIL was in the room during the labor.
I wont want my family in there, let alone my FI's family!! Hell no!
The birthing is something private between my FI, dr and nurses and myself.
I dont want anybody else in there to see whatever happens during labor.
I can't imagine giving birth without my husband present. I would be terrified without him. And I'm thinking that he'll be all about it. He'll want to see everything. Except the placenta. That just grosses both of us out.
He was the only one I wanted there during the delivery of our son.. I DID tell him NOT TO LOOK when our son was crowning, but did he listen? noooooooope. his memory to repress I suppose :P
@USAandKSA: i could imagine not allowing my hubby in the room to watch the beautiful baby that HE HELPED CREATE come out of his wife's body. i feel like that is such an injustice to him, because he was just as big of a part as making it as you were.
i love my hubby so much, and i know he would love me no matter what i look like or what i do when i am in labor. he respects me and adores me, and i am sure he is just proud to be bringing a baby into the world, he wouldnt care about all the nasty stuff that goes on.
i am sure your hubby would feel the same way!
@PitBulLover: Yeah I put my makeup on very soon after I wake up everyday so hardly anyone has seen me without it ever. I'm not insecure or anything I just like for him to see me at my best as much as possible. And I do kinda like the idea of him facing my head and not down where the action is.
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