Anyone picked out/designed their own ring? How does a proposal work, then?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
897 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014


I picked my ring, and even tracked it as it shipped across the globe!  Once we knew what day it would be arriving, he told me we were having a fancy dinner date that night, and he got to plan the night.  So, I even knew what was happening!  HOWEVER…once I arrived home, I was taken to the hippest sexiest restaurant in town, then “our” coffee shop for coffee, then taken up the side of a mountain on a cable car to overlook the city at sunset for the proposal.  And somehow, I was…still completely taken by surprise and wept and carried on.  So, no.  You aren’t ruining anything at ALL.

Post # 3
2131 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband asked me without a ring and then I chose one later that week. A ring doesn’t necessarily need to be involved to have a special or sweet proposal. However if you do want the ring involved then once you complete it let him keep it in his possession for awhile until he’s ready to propose. That way it there won’t be an awkward exchange when he does he’ll place it on your finger to seal the deal. I highly doubt that knowing what the ring looks like will put a damper on the excitement of actually getting to wear it everyday and glance at it fondly! I love the idea of you not only designing, but creating a beautiful ring for yourself! Good luck!

Post # 4
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

I picked my own ring, knew the day he picked it up. But it was not in my possession until the proposal nearly a month later. I think it was still special and I don’t regret choosing it myself at all. If it will be in your possession, ie you are wearing it already as soon as you get it, then no proposal is needed,you will already be engaged. Just make sure he hides it where you can’t find it until the proposal 🙂

Post # 5
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I have essentially picked what I want. It’s not so much custom, but I am in possession of the center stone (for the next few days till he whisks it off somewhere). He will assume responsibilty after this since I’ve given him the most direction I can and still feel suprised when he does his part to ask. He has the stone, knows what setting my heart is after – even the wedding band now! The rest is up to him!!!

Post # 6
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Haha, I’m in the same boat right now! I said yes to SO’s proposal without a ring(sitting around eating pizza, lol) but he decided he wanted to do it “properly” so he’s waiting for the ring to show up. I’m just letting him have his big moment because I’m sure he wants a good story to tell his buddies(who have been rooting for him since he mentioned it at a New Years Eve party) but in my head, I’m thinking that I’m getting TWO proposals…cool. 😉

I picked out my own ring because SO really didn’t want to pick it out himself. He knows my likes and dislikes but a ring you’ll wear for-ev-er made him nervous to get it wrong. He practically jumped for joy when he asked me to start looking at rings and I came up with some pictures for him to go by. I think it worked out well! 🙂 It ended up being custom(final stages of being made, eee!) and SO has says I can’t see it until the proposal, so I’m just letting him have his big moment, lol

In short, pick out the ring together but if your SO is into making a grand proposal still, let ’em! Let him “hide” the ring and do whatever it is that makes him happy if that’s what you guys want. Or he can just hand it to you and voila, you’re engaged!

Either way, it’s a happy time for you. Congratulations! 😀

Post # 7
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I picked my own ring. This is the way I see it – I don’t understand why some people would rather have a surprise proposal (this lasts a few moments) and a ring they will potentially hate (that you’ll wear forever) vs. ruining the surprise. In most adult relationships, him proposing is hardly a surprise anyway, since generally you know you want to get married, and have discussions about it.

I didn’t want a surprise proposal.. we basically ordered the ring and that was that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Look up all the “omg he picked the ring and I hate it but I don’t know how to tell him” posts.

Now if you’re not picky at all and to you it really is the thought that counts, then that’s one thing, but I don’t think most girls are like that… at all.

My husband wanted my input because he thought it would be idiotic to spend thousands on something I wouldn’t love… like how dumb is that?

Post # 8
525 posts
Busy bee

I picked my ring with input from my SO. The proposal is important to him, so he is planning and it will ask me to marry him. I won’t know when he has the ring (hopefully).

Post # 10
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i picked out my ring. i didn’t really plant to, it just kinda worked out that way. i happened to come across a picture online and fell in love with it, so i showed my husband and when we were ready, we went shopping around to see if anyone had it or could make it. 

we were long distance at the time and the jewelry store was in our hometown (where my husband did not live). so we ordered the ring and when it arrived i picked it up. the employee helping me was little confused as to why i would be picking up my own rings- he asked me if my husband proposed in the store, haha. anyways, i held onto the ring until my husband’s next visit and then i gave it to him, and put the ball in his court.

even tho i knew the proposal was coming, it didn’t make it any less special and i was still surprised when he did it 🙂

Post # 11
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

When my now-FI and I realized we’d both be happier if I picked out my own engagement ring, we both kind of automatically figured that that meant the proposal should come before the ring. Yet, I did want the proposal to include a ring in a velvet box, so I told him to surprise me with something inexpensive and whimsical. He decided to go with the dragon ring in my profile pic, and it worked out perfectly. And if you’re like me, even if you find out what day it’s going to happen, you won’t care because you’ll be so excited for the surprise details, and happy you can make sure you look nice and appreciate every moment leading up to it.

Post # 12
9 posts
  • Wedding: May 2015

I just posted about my ring today which I got to have a large role in choosing, but was still a surprise in the end. He wanted me to love the ring, so we agreed to choose the center stone together, and then I would give him 3 settings to pick from. Once we picked a stone we went out and looked at settings together. There was one we both loved that could be custom made for our stone so that became the one, although that wasn’t quite our plan.

We agreed that I wouldn’t get to see our chosen stone in the setting until the moment he proposed, and that and him getting to choose and orchestrate that moment was where the surprise came in. It was really wonderful and I wouldn’t change anything.


Here’s a peek at my ring:

Post # 13
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My fiancé told me he didn’t trust himself to pick out a ring that I would wear forever, even if he had a picture, and I’m glad he did.  I picked my own ring, which was different than anything I thought I’d like, and we were both told the date it would be in. My fiancé said we’d go out for a nice dinner, and celebrate making it official since we’d been talking about getting married for months. HOWEVER, my ring came in 2 weeks early, so I ended up getting a little bit of a surprise. Honestly, even knowing that it was coming doesn’t change the rush of emotions you get when they actually “offically” propose. I think what you guys are doing is incredibly unique, and I’d trust his plan. I’m sure it’ll blow you away.

Post # 14
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

FI proposed without a ring because he knows I’m picky with jewelry, so we ended up getting one together, which was a pretty fun process to do together! Much less stressful than purchasing it himself, FI said. 

Post # 15
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

ceedee18:  My proposal was just perfect…quiet, low key and personal to us but there was no ring as FI knows I have always wanted to design own! 

This didn’t make it any less special or any less ‘real’ and I’m so excited to pick up our custom made ring very soon 🙂

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