Post # 1
I was wondering if anyone has ever designed their own ring before, and if you were happy that you did or not. My boyfriend and I were planning to do just that, but now I’m having some doubts.
Here’s some back story: My boyfriend and I were shopping one day and he casually asked me to pop into the jewelry store and show him what kind of rings I like. I showed him what I liked (very simple, clean, modern, and unique) and he then admitted that he had actually already put a ring on layaway! Yay! However, after seeing what I liked, he was concerned that it might not be my style. Long story short, we decided that it would be fun for me to design and create my own, since I’m taking jewelry classes anyways. He offered to buy the gold, diamond,etc.
At first I was ectatic at the possibility of having a super unique and meaningful ring. But then, I started wondering if I would be missing out. Usually the proposal process is a surprise, including the ring. But if I make the ring, then it will be in my possesion already, and what happens then? Do I hand it to him, he hands it back, and then we are engaged? 🙁
When I voiced my concerns about it, he said not to worry-he has something planned, but that it didn’t include giving him the ring. I don’t see what he could do without the ring, or to keep any element of surprise in the process.
Has anyone done anything similar? How did it work out? Did we accidentally suck all the fun out of it? Or am I just being silly?
Any thoughts are appreciated! Thank you!
Post # 2
I picked my ring, and even tracked it as it shipped across the globe! Once we knew what day it would be arriving, he told me we were having a fancy dinner date that night, and he got to plan the night. So, I even knew what was happening! HOWEVER…once I arrived home, I was taken to the hippest sexiest restaurant in town, then “our” coffee shop for coffee, then taken up the side of a mountain on a cable car to overlook the city at sunset for the proposal. And somehow, I was…still completely taken by surprise and wept and carried on. So, no. You aren’t ruining anything at ALL.
Post # 3
My husband asked me without a ring and then I chose one later that week. A ring doesn’t necessarily need to be involved to have a special or sweet proposal. However if you do want the ring involved then once you complete it let him keep it in his possession for awhile until he’s ready to propose. That way it there won’t be an awkward exchange when he does he’ll place it on your finger to seal the deal. I highly doubt that knowing what the ring looks like will put a damper on the excitement of actually getting to wear it everyday and glance at it fondly! I love the idea of you not only designing, but creating a beautiful ring for yourself! Good luck!
Post # 4
I picked my own ring, knew the day he picked it up. But it was not in my possession until the proposal nearly a month later. I think it was still special and I don’t regret choosing it myself at all. If it will be in your possession, ie you are wearing it already as soon as you get it, then no proposal is needed,you will already be engaged. Just make sure he hides it where you can’t find it until the proposal 🙂
Post # 5
I have essentially picked what I want. It’s not so much custom, but I am in possession of the center stone (for the next few days till he whisks it off somewhere). He will assume responsibilty after this since I’ve given him the most direction I can and still feel suprised when he does his part to ask. He has the stone, knows what setting my heart is after – even the wedding band now! The rest is up to him!!!
Post # 6
Haha, I’m in the same boat right now! I said yes to SO’s proposal without a ring(sitting around eating pizza, lol) but he decided he wanted to do it “properly” so he’s waiting for the ring to show up. I’m just letting him have his big moment because I’m sure he wants a good story to tell his buddies(who have been rooting for him since he mentioned it at a New Years Eve party) but in my head, I’m thinking that I’m getting TWO proposals…cool. 😉
I picked out my own ring because SO really didn’t want to pick it out himself. He knows my likes and dislikes but a ring you’ll wear for-ev-er made him nervous to get it wrong. He practically jumped for joy when he asked me to start looking at rings and I came up with some pictures for him to go by. I think it worked out well! 🙂 It ended up being custom(final stages of being made, eee!) and SO has says I can’t see it until the proposal, so I’m just letting him have his big moment, lol
In short, pick out the ring together but if your SO is into making a grand proposal still, let ’em! Let him “hide” the ring and do whatever it is that makes him happy if that’s what you guys want. Or he can just hand it to you and voila, you’re engaged!
Either way, it’s a happy time for you. Congratulations! 😀
Post # 7
I picked my own ring. This is the way I see it – I don’t understand why some people would rather have a surprise proposal (this lasts a few moments) and a ring they will potentially hate (that you’ll wear forever) vs. ruining the surprise. In most adult relationships, him proposing is hardly a surprise anyway, since generally you know you want to get married, and have discussions about it.
I didn’t want a surprise proposal.. we basically ordered the ring and that was that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Look up all the “omg he picked the ring and I hate it but I don’t know how to tell him” posts.
Now if you’re not picky at all and to you it really is the thought that counts, then that’s one thing, but I don’t think most girls are like that… at all.
My husband wanted my input because he thought it would be idiotic to spend thousands on something I wouldn’t love… like how dumb is that?
Post # 8
I picked my ring with input from my SO. The proposal is important to him, so he is planning and it will ask me to marry him. I won’t know when he has the ring (hopefully).
Post # 9
Thank you all so much for your replies so far!
I think I am just being silly and overthinking things. What it comes down to is we are getting engaged, and I will have a ring that I love and have a special connection to.
I do know that it is important to my boyfriend that he have a special memory to look back on, and he has already said he is planning something, so I should just trust him and concentrate on my part (making the ring).
He did say not to give him the ring, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing it until he asks me to marry him. (hopefully he is still planning on asking-I was looking forward to that part)
Maybe I will just put the ring away once it is finished and let him know where it is in case he wants it?
Please continue to share your opinions and experiences! I want to hear them!
Post # 10
i picked out my ring. i didn’t really plant to, it just kinda worked out that way. i happened to come across a picture online and fell in love with it, so i showed my husband and when we were ready, we went shopping around to see if anyone had it or could make it.
we were long distance at the time and the jewelry store was in our hometown (where my husband did not live). so we ordered the ring and when it arrived i picked it up. the employee helping me was little confused as to why i would be picking up my own rings- he asked me if my husband proposed in the store, haha. anyways, i held onto the ring until my husband’s next visit and then i gave it to him, and put the ball in his court.
even tho i knew the proposal was coming, it didn’t make it any less special and i was still surprised when he did it 🙂
Post # 11
When my now-FI and I realized we’d both be happier if I picked out my own engagement ring, we both kind of automatically figured that that meant the proposal should come before the ring. Yet, I did want the proposal to include a ring in a velvet box, so I told him to surprise me with something inexpensive and whimsical. He decided to go with the dragon ring in my profile pic, and it worked out perfectly. And if you’re like me, even if you find out what day it’s going to happen, you won’t care because you’ll be so excited for the surprise details, and happy you can make sure you look nice and appreciate every moment leading up to it.
Post # 12
I just posted about my ring today which I got to have a large role in choosing, but was still a surprise in the end. He wanted me to love the ring, so we agreed to choose the center stone together, and then I would give him 3 settings to pick from. Once we picked a stone we went out and looked at settings together. There was one we both loved that could be custom made for our stone so that became the one, although that wasn’t quite our plan.
We agreed that I wouldn’t get to see our chosen stone in the setting until the moment he proposed, and that and him getting to choose and orchestrate that moment was where the surprise came in. It was really wonderful and I wouldn’t change anything.
Here’s a peek at my ring: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/engaged-70/#axzz2wf0Kyqjs
Post # 13
My fiancé told me he didn’t trust himself to pick out a ring that I would wear forever, even if he had a picture, and I’m glad he did. I picked my own ring, which was different than anything I thought I’d like, and we were both told the date it would be in. My fiancé said we’d go out for a nice dinner, and celebrate making it official since we’d been talking about getting married for months. HOWEVER, my ring came in 2 weeks early, so I ended up getting a little bit of a surprise. Honestly, even knowing that it was coming doesn’t change the rush of emotions you get when they actually “offically” propose. I think what you guys are doing is incredibly unique, and I’d trust his plan. I’m sure it’ll blow you away.
Post # 14
FI proposed without a ring because he knows I’m picky with jewelry, so we ended up getting one together, which was a pretty fun process to do together! Much less stressful than purchasing it himself, FI said.
Post # 15
ceedee18: My proposal was just perfect…quiet, low key and personal to us but there was no ring as FI knows I have always wanted to design own!
This didn’t make it any less special or any less ‘real’ and I’m so excited to pick up our custom made ring very soon 🙂