Post # 1
i recently got engaged but we are planning on a 2.5 year engagement so i can get some shit done
shit i want to get done relate to getting a certain career certification and relate to having a certain amount of money saved up personally (not just for the wedding)
am i being ridiculous?
i live in nyc and never had bfs growing up so i always thought i’d be single into my 30s
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
Yep. In fact, we’ve been LDR for almost 3 years as well.
Post # 4
@lizzieb: how do you know if it’s a worthy enough goal to delay marriage or if you’re being too type A?
Post # 5
Establishing your career so that you can start your marriage with a more secure financial footing is not type A. I think a 2.5 year engagement when you’re young is perfectly reasonable, especially if you are still in school. Just make sure it’s really what you want and you’re not pushing off for any other reasons.
Post # 6
@star_dust: it just requires sooo much patience. argh!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House
@vegas: We knew that in order for us to be our best together, we had to be our best on our own first. It works for us because we both had enough life experience to know that we wanted each other, and that we would be there for each other always, but the opportunities that we have now won’t.
If that makes sense.
Post # 8
We didn’t put it off toooo much but we had an 18 month engagement so that I could finish my Master’s degree before we got married.
Post # 9
@vegas: Absolutely! My FI and I will have been engaged just shy of 2.5 years when we get married and we will have been together nearly 8.5 years (and long distance for almost 6 years of that time). We both wanted to graduate college, I wanted to start my career and he wanted to complete medical school before we got married.
I think accomplishing some goals on your own before getting married is perfectly fine! At the end of the day, do what works for you! And congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Post # 10
Not ridiculous at all! My SO and I have decided we are waiting until we are both done our law articles (he will be done in a year, I will be done in two) until getting married. Many people I know from school are rushing to get married before they start articles – maybe because they want the security of marriage before that stressful time. I see it as I’d rather wait until that stress is over so I can actually enjoy it. Also (forgive me if this sounds bad) – but wouldn’t you want to know you could get through the hardest part before you tie the knot?
I think it’s a great choice to wait until you can get done what needs to get done. That way you can be more stable, secure, and happy with the other parts of your life so you can start your marriage off in the best way for you.
Post # 11
Nothing wrong with getting your own stuff together before getting married.
Post # 12
Im 24 an Ive already been engaged for a year and a few months and I am now starting to plan a bit more seriously I would like to be set in my career and be financially secure or at least comfortable. I went to school and hated what I went for so i am not looking to go back. I personally think its easier to wait until your ready
Post # 13
I’m 30, my ering was my 30th Birthday gift. FH and I have been together since about 6 months before my 22nd birthday. I went back to school and we moved halfway across the country when we had been dating just shy of 4 years. If I had not opted to go back to school we would have been engaged at least 3 years ago. We personally did not want a long engagement (officially) we had talked about getting married many times and knew we would, we just didn’t want to get the ring etc until we were ready to get married. We will be married in 300 days (but who’s counting)
Post # 14
@vegas: I got engaged in January of 2013 and am planning on being married June 2015. So I guess we are on the same boat. 🙂
The reason we are having a long engagement is so that I can graduate and get settled into my career field (or at least try to!) I will graduate May 2014 and don’t think I can job search, wedding plan, and do graduation stuff in one summer. Plus my mom made a good point and said that once I’ve graduated and enjoyed that part of life- I have a new milestone to look forward to.
Also, my fiance and I live together and do not plan on having children for another 5-10 years. We want to be a couple for a while before we have children. So really there is no reason to rush. 🙂
My experience is that some people will give you gripe about your engagement length. I have learned to ignore them. My fiance and I have our reasons and we are happy with our decision to wait to have a wedding. A marriage is a lifelong commitment, so if you feel that you need to accomplish things before you tie the knot then do it!
Post # 15
I think it’s smart to wait for reasons such as yours. I won’t be done with school until march 2015 and we decided to not think about planning until around that time.
Post # 16
I didn’t, because I don’t see marriage as a goal to accomplish, but rather as something that happens (or doesn’t) while you accomplish your actual goals. Nothing prevents you from doing anything while you’re married.