Post # 1
Everyone should be nice to the bride and groom no matter what decisions they make about their wedding, ceremony, food, entertainment. etc., just sayin’ ! Believe me, I did a lot of things my way that were lovely for everyone and I am now catching heated insults including ‘you’re alienating people’ and ‘you’re not accommodating and it is rude’ because I am having a vegetarian wedding and because it is a Sunday and not a Saturday. Everyone needs to leave me alone. I was having so much fun until this shit went down.
Post # 3
Some people are just rude…and some people always think that everybody cares about their opinions..and for this reason they always want to give an advice or make a comment…just don’t pay attention..tell everybody that it is your wedding and you can do whatever you want..
Post # 4
Unfortunately it was my mother in law telling me that people accommodate me by having vegetarian food for me and that I am rude because I am not serving my guests meat… well, newsflash = meat eaters also eat tons of vegetarian food including the things I am having at our wedding: I don’t mean I am serving vegetables. I just mean meatless; homemade hummus and pita chips, berries, penne with cream sauce vodka, grilled cheese, cornbread, mozzarella tomato skewers, fried potato croquet, fried rice, ice cream, raspberry vanilla cakes etc. etc. etc.
I think she is just mad that some of her our of town friends from high school can’t come because it is on a Sunday, but she hasn’t paid for a cent of it or offered to help… but seems to think I am selfish, uncaring and alienating people!
Post # 5
I don’t eat meat either…but I decided to serve meat for the guests…However, nobody pushed me to do so…I decided it on my own..
But if you don’t want any meat around you on your wedding day…go for it…it is your day…
just stop discussing things with people…and if they tell you anything..just smile and tell them that you are the bride and you want things to be your way for one day 🙂
Post # 6
No carnivore is going to die because they have one vegetarian meal.
I suggest you stop sharing the details so people don’t have the information about which to be critical.
Post # 7
I’m a committed meat eater and your menu sounds awesome. Ignore your MIL, you’ve obviously put alit of thought into your menu and no one is going to go hungry for lack of meat.
Post # 8
@EMCasey: I kept nearly everything (other than date, time, place) absolutely a secret from almost everyone in my life unless I was 100% certain that they’d be supportive. People like your MIL don’t need to know the details ahead time, so why bother sharing? Your MIL has proven that she’s a Negative Nancy, so she doesn’t get to hear the details anymore! Only talk over the details with people you can trust. I just think when you put yourself out there, you have to be prepared for negative comments. While it’s totally rude for people to be criticize wedding choices because it’s only ONE DAY, a SINGLE party, if you keep what’s important to you close to your chest, you can have a better planning experience.
FWIW, our wedding was pretty offbeat for our families, but everyone had an absolute blast and they’re still talking about the details almost 6 months later!
Post # 9
You can read my thread about wedding bullying but yup I got it from everywhere and I still get it.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@EMCasey: They can go without meat for one meal! Sounds hearty and delicious so I am sure she just hasn’t thought about it. I am having a semi-destination sunday wedding. 40% of my guest list has a 10+ hour drive, another 40% has 3 hours to and from airport and a 4 hour flight. The people who matter will come to a wedding no matter where/when it is. My mom wasn’t the biggest fan when I told her about most of my ideas but the more I explained why the more she understood and calmed down.
Post # 11
Your menu sounds great!
Which is great! Because your FMIL sounds like a real jerk.
And even my VERY carniverous DH would love a menu like that!
Post # 12
@EMCasey: I am gluten free- I have celiacs. I want to have a gluten free wedding cake. Someone in FI’s family said “all Gluten free cakes are gross. You definitely should not have it. Its rude to your other guests who can eat gluten”
It would just be nice, to be able to eat what everyone else was eating- for one day!
There will be plenty of regular pastries and such placed on the tables, to go along with the gluten free cake. So there would be options for people who did not like the gluten free cake (which I have never had happen before, because cake is cake! GF or not its yummy). I understood why they may have thought that, but thought it was beyond rude to not only show distaste for our choice, but to bash it.
Post # 13
@EMCasey: If you were kosher, and having a kosher meal no one would be upset! Or you had other religous dietary restrictions.
It blows my mind that vegetarians do not get the same level of respect for their beliefs, that religious people do. A belief is just that. Whether it is about a higher being or a moral choice! Vegetarianism is a belief, a choice (like religion)! People should just respect it, on your special day.
Post # 14
@EMCasey: as a light meat eater, penne with vodka sauce is like my favorite food so I would be super happy and it sounds like all of your food is pretty universally appealing
Post # 15
First I think it should be pointed out that expressing a different opinion is not bullying. Thinking that others should keep their opinions to themselves so as not to upset a bride yeah that is kind of bullying though.
I think a great life lesson is that everyone has opinions and often they are given unsoliciated. The point is that you don’t have to like their opinion and you certainly don’t have to follow their opinion. Just thank them fro their opinion and carry on.
Have your wedding when you want and serve what you want. But I think it is fair to acknowledge that when you make different choices to the mainstream (a vegetarian wedding and a sunday wedding) that some people may not like it. And that is ok. You will never please everyone.
Just stop talking details and as I said just thank them for their opinion and tell themt hat you will take it under consideration. Normally a sqeaky wheel just wants to feel like they have been heard.
Post # 16
My mother tried bullying me into having a wedding like hers.. backyard wedding with KFC catering, and a keg for alcohol.
She said it was “good enough” for her, so it was good enough for me.
I politely told her many times, that’s great – but that’s not the vision I see. I wanted a super pretty ceremony venue [mainly for photography], and just some type of building to have the reception in. Open bar, good food.
After repeatedly hearing the same crap from her about “wasting money on a wedding”, I eventually told her that I was no longer going to discuss it, and I haven’t shared any other details with her since.