- 5 years ago
He wrote back…..
Thank you for your reply. I am being straightforward with you as that is my only approach to anyone, honesty. I have no negative feelings to/about you, and never will. What is the purpose that I would be/feel negative towards you and what would that accomplish?
Correct you have not done anything to me and directly, and even if you did it would not phase me. Everybody grows up because time is inevitable but whether everyone matures is a completely different question. He is my brother despite whatever may be, and my absence does not mean I refuse to show him support, it is actually the opposite. People easily misinterpret the difference between help and enabling.
As for my attendance at your event, your fiancé is already aware of what I am doing and respects my career to understand its importance of not being able to be in attendance. We have spoken numerous times in the past and my timetable of events never lessened, so there’s no “chasing after” me for a response.
You say that you are blunt and straight forward but say nothing as evidence to support your claim. Your fiancé is an adult and whatever he chooses to do I respect his decisions. It is not my place to tell/show him what is right or wrong. I understand that the only aspect to cause change isn’t people or even money, but “truth.” Correct that we only have one life and we all have choices to make therefore I respect his choice to continue this event with you.
I disagree that no one else matters beyond “that” because that statement contradicts the very nature of respect by “demanding” everyone “must respect” that choice. The detailed part I disagree with is that respect isnt demanded, it is earned and given freely. When you demand such respect you actually do yourself a disservice because you disrespect others by thinking that others do not matter. Those very same others are individuals that matter, maybe not to you or even him, but to the life of your son it does, as well as your daughter.
Nevertheless, I have no cause to be uncivil to you. You and him may not like or want to hear the truth I tell you accordingly when necessary, but as Bob Marley said, “the truth is an offense, but not a shame.” I do not repsect you because you are the mother of his child etc, but because you are a human.
Yes the wedding is real because it cost money, time etc. My question is what is your purpose in marrying him? Do you “Love” him and if you do so much, would you sign a pre-nupt? Are you content with being you for him or do you try to be better for him daily (in all aspects)?
I am now convinced he is crazy and I simply responded with I am sorry you are unable to make it.