Anyone successfully repaired relationship with MIL??

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 4
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

My FMIL and I had a rough patch when we moved in. He talked to her. He mentioned how everytime she said something to hurt me, it hurt him, because seeing me in pain was awful. He didn’t give her an ultimatum or threten to stop talking to her, just told her that her actions towards me hurt him.

She would never hurt her baby, so the comments stopped and she got on board. I think seeing how much her words hurt him was a wake up call to how serious he was about me.

Can you FI become your ally in the situation?

Post # 5
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Also, for Thanksgiving. Can you warn your parents about her? Tell them not to engage in her BS and ignore any rude comments.

Post # 6
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Also, for Thanksgiving. Can you warn your parents about her? Tell them not to engage in her BS and ignore any rude comments. She isn’t worth ruining a family event.

Post # 7
Member
483 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TGold:  I really feel for you… I have been there and am sooo glad that past is done. My situation wasn’t that similar to yours but it was uncomfortable and has gotten better and improving daily.

First off when I met FI I was 16 and he was 19… and she wasn’t comfortable with the fact that I was “underage” (age of consent is 16 in the Bahamas). Also he had a very close female friend that his mother loved and I think I never really had a chance because she felt that they would be great together.

Long story short that female friend got mad that my SO had interest in another female and the friendship ended messy. SO mother was always polite I must say even tho we all knew I wasn’t her first pick. I always “killed her with kindness” and reasoned with SO when he would be frustrated with her and they argue and he would be in the wrong. Since my mother and I have had a not so great realtionship to always told him that he’s lucky to have a mother that cares like that for you.

One day So and his mother had a nasty arguement over our relationship and basically SO told her everything how yes he had feelign in the past for the other girl but moved on and that after some stupid mistakes in his past that I forgaved him and we’ve moved on from them and that she should respect me more because I’m the right woman for him and have truly been there rather than the other girl. He aso told her what the old friend said to him and how little she thought about him, our relationship and a bunch of other stuff.

Things got better but was still uncomfortable. We both have been working on opening up. By time as FI proposed to me his mother had a respect and fondness for me and our relationship.

My advice is to see if your FI can sit down and really inform your mother why he with you and the fact that she needs to respect you as his future wife and future mother of her grandchildren(if you guys are having kids that is ). I feel that it may seem rude and make situations worse if you actually did the talking with how you say you MIL acts that how i see it going down if you did. Your FI and you are startign your own life and family talk to your FI and see what agreement you guy can come up with to sit down and have a heart to heart with your MIL.

It sucks I know I wish you the best and hope thign gets better and works out in the end.

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