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Anyone THIS close to having a real Bride War?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    cj2009    Sept 2009   Bay Area, Cali

    Just venting here.

    The guy has not proposed so we are not "officially engaged" yet, but we've already started the planning process back in Aug 2008.  Only his parents know on his side, and on my side, well my family and some friends.  So I just found out that one of my girls just got engaged and she's planning her destination wedding the same month as mine!  My heart dropped when she announced her month, but luckily her date was the week before mine.  We also found out this past month that two other people close to us are getting married the same month, but luckily a different weekend than ours.  See the pattern here?  I have not been able to tell anyone my date because the boy hasn't proposed and his siblings don't know yet.  But I am really really annoyed right now.  We have booked 3 of our vendors and put deposits down on 2, so there's no way I would ever move my date.  With my luck, I am so afraid that if we wait another month, someone will end up picking that same weekend to get married and then people would have to choose.  I really want all our friends and family to be there.  I am so about to go Bridezilla any moment.  But the poor guy is just taking so damn long cuz I think he's trying to find the right "moment".  Bah.  Anyone THIS close to having a real Bride War? :  wedding Icon Neutral //End Rant.

     
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    Helper bee
    kenziegirl    July 9, 2008   Seattle

    No offense cj2009,

    but if you haven't announced your date, or your ENGAGEMENT for that matter, you can't be mad about anything. I'm sure it's just coincidence that all these people are choosing the same month as you, so just take a deep breath and try to let it go. 

     

     
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    Newbee
    BrownBridal    7/4/2010   Hotel

    Awww HUGZ!!!!

     Ok well I know and totally get your situation as there is a bit of wedding boom amongst my girls as well and I'm kinda just waiting for something like this to happen. . .  

    My ring is being custom made and my FH says he wants to retain surprise and therefore refuses to officially propose until the ring is done and doesn't want me to know when or where -- so we are in that same limbo land of yes we're getting married no, Not everyone really really knows nor are we blasting it everywhere but we are venue shopping and have picked a date!!!!!!!  I just keep praying everyone who's announcing doesn't pick mine and to help out with my closest girls i have given them the info on what we are doing/planning. 

     But it isn't anyone else's fault -- your girls and your friends can't hold their lives cause of what is going on in you and your FH's. .  But since u see this going on -- it's time to communicate with each other . . let FH know what is happening and start to brainstorm and hash out a plan -- 

    U can either 1) move ur date -- i know cringe city but since nobdy really knows it is still easier to do than if you had already sent out STD's. . .2)FH hopefully proposes soon! Also hard b/c who knows a mans mind! LOL.  3) Stay on your date and just take your chances

     

    I hope things work out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     

     
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    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    People aren't mind readers. You can't expect them to plan around you unless you tell them when your wedding is (and even then there's only so much "planning around" that can be expected to happen, especially in September, one of the most popular wedding months in warmer climates). Tell your guy to get himself in gear and propose already! I understand your frustration but I think you kind of asked for it by starting to plan your wedding before getting officially engaged and thus being able to do it in the open. Good luck, pre-congratulations, and I hope it happens soon!

     
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    LucyLouToo    December 2009  

    Do the girls planning their weddings know about your engagement?  ...It could be that when they do find out, they'll feel that you were the one that picked their month instead of vice versa.

    Are they in your wedding party? How close are these friends?  If they are close, I would let them in on it ASAP and keep the lines of communication open. Also get your Save the Dates ready to roll as the secret is out!

     

     
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    Helper bee
    cj2009    Sept 2009   Bay Area, Cali

    Thanks everyone.... I never thought of all the points everyone brought up.  I feel better now.  We are probably not going to move our date.  It's just, it will make everything sticky for the bacherlorette/bridal showers....

     
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    Helper bee
    MissStellar    May 2, 2009   MI

    If you're planning your wedding- you're engaged. Why don't you annouce it? My FH and I started planning our wedding before I ever had a ring, but it didn't matter. We knew we were going to be together.

    Good luck :)

     
    8.
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    Helper bee
    cj2009    Sept 2009   Bay Area, Cali

    I just reread this post... I didn't mean I was annoyed at my girls... I was annoyed at the boyfriend for waiting so long.  OH well, I'm over it.  I'm sure it will happen soon.  I'll update you guys when it does and tell you if I was ablet o keep my date or not.

     

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