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you really shouldnt worry about this, if he speaks french to her she will understand and speak french too.
I don't have any experience in this just yet, but I will be in the same boat. I speak Chinese and hope that our kids will be able to pick it up from me speaking to them in it and have my parents around a lot to speak it. My husband doesnt understand it at all, so it will be impossible to try to converse to him in it. I watched an interesting video about childrens language development that said they key months are 6-8 months where the child will learn to distinguish and hear the different sounds that languages make, and this is the basis for learning the different languages. And children were able to learn this simply by being immersed and spoken to by someone, but not through television. I'll see if I can find the video later, it was very interesting.
My sister's husband is Chinese and he speeks Mandarin (but my sister does not). When their oldest turned 2, they put her in a Chinese speaking day care. She primarily speaks Chinese there (and speaks some at home too). She has picked it up very quickly!
Well thats good to know. I started to get worried because our friends just gave up at 2-1/2 and switched to only speaking their son in english, though its neither of their first languages (though both are completely fluent in english). It probably was a lot more complicated for them though since they were trying to introduce 3 languages at once (they didnt share a native tongue).
I'm not a parents but a lot of my family and friends have been in this situation. They have always put their child in a day care where the non english language is primary. That way they are completely immersed in that language there. They'll have plenty of time and opportunity to pick up English everywhere else.
My family is bi-lingual except for my mother. My nephew was talked to in english by everyone except my mom. Who would watch him a few hours a day for some time. My nephew went to school in english. Kids are so smart they just pick up second languages quickly. He can speak both spanish and english now and he even writes and reads in spanish, without even going to school for it. Its not perfect but he is bilingual :)
My niece is bilingual. Her mom and her mom's family speak spanish and english, and my BIL speaks only english. She seems to have picked up the spanish pretty well.
My friend's children speak French (nanny), English (mother)and Arabic (father). They were always pretty disciplined about who speaks what. The kids picked it up fine. I do think that you also need to read in both languages so they aren't illiterate in one of them:)
Speak almost all french at home, and then when they enter school , they will focus in heavy on english. Kids are like sponges , that its no problem for them. They may however, be underdeveloped in the writing part of it and be verbally very well versed.
My FI is bi-lingual and his mom followed that plan.
Oh, please do it! I am so sad that I don't speak or understand French-my dad's first language. :( My mom didn't speak it. I have wonderful memories of my grandparents speaking in French, but I never picked it up-because they very seldom spoke it-only when they had distant relatives visit. :(
Just my 2 cents. I was raised with ASL and speaking english, and I loved it. I also stayed in a home where the mom spoke Finnish, and the dad spoke English, and the boy would be having a conversation with mom, turn say something to dad, in English, and go back to speaking to mom in Finnish. And mom was the only one that he spoke Finnish to, he had like, grandma and stuff in Finnish.
Might be a good way for you to pick up a bit of French.
I know its not the same but we'll be introducing sign language as well as english to our daughter. You may want to consider introducing a few basic signs so that if your child gets confused between languages or if words come out half english half french for a little bit you'll still understand her needs.
We plan to do it with our future kiddies but with 3 languages. I'm Filipino-American so I want them to know a little Tagalog and DH is Swedish. We talk primarily in English at home but since we live in Sweden, Swedish will be the main language. They start teaching English in grade school here so our children would have a head start, plus we plan on taking regular vacations back in California, where my Mom and grandma will surely want to teach their native language.
Oh definitely do it! I'm so bummed that my dad, who speaks fluent Spanish, never spoke Spanish to us as kids. Nearly all of my family members are bilingual and they have all raised their children with one parent speaking Spanish and one parent speaking English. The kids are all completely bilingual and it's awesome. DH and I are trying to learn French so we can speak it with our future kids and have them be bilingual. It doesn't hurt that we may be moving to Montreal (fingers crossed!)
Seriously, kids are amazing when it comes to learning languages and they will definitely appreciate being able to speak more than one language in the future!
Hey you!
I am half Brittish and Half Philippino and well, I grew up in Sweden, my sons dad is swedish and my hubby to be is norwegian. It's a lot work, but now, I live in Ireland and my kid is moving here. I speak Swedish, Philippine tagalog and English fluently since I was a kid, and I think it depends. My son is already speaking a bit of English and fluent Swedish. He is three years old, nothing me and my bf is forcing him to, kids are very adaptive in that way...
I also spoke french for five years, and in time, tagalog and french (ev. norwegian) will come into place. I am grateful my parents taught me the languages I know.
Good luck!! :D
I dont think it will be a problem. I am from singapore (in Asia) and almost everyone here is bilingual. And quite a handful of us can speak 3 or 4 languages. It's possible. Expose them to the language more often and it'll work.
The thing with kids is that they will only want to speak the language of their peers when they start going to school, I think that'll be the biggest challenge.
I don't think your kid will have any trouble understanding French if daddy talks with him. I tought English in an international schools and for the vast majority of these kids English was their 4th or 5th language. Daddy talks one language, Mommy another, in school they speak Dutch/French and then they had English w/ me. The kids would talk in their languages to the respective parent, so I think it'll be fine kids pick up languages so fast.
Where do you live? If it's somewhere French speaking, focus more on English at home, and if it's somewhere English speaking, focus more on the French.
It's also a good opportunity for you to practice your French, just talking with your husband. If you say something wrong, your husband can repeat it back to you properly (either grammar or pronunciation) and then you can repeat it back to him. That kind of repetition probably wouldn't hurt the baby.
Also, try and pick up some children's books in French so that Daddy can read to her, and when she gets a little older, maybe some French children's shows.
ETA. I forgot music. I don't know if there's a french version of Raffi, but singing is a really good way to learn intonation and pronunciation.
Growing up in Montreal I learn French in school. At home I learned Portuguese and that's the language we had to speak at home. I only used French at home for homework or to speak with my sister. I then learned English in high school and then I moved to Toronto and English became dominant.
My FI is Portuguese, understands French and we speak English to each other. We already agreed that once we have kids, they will go to a French school and at home it will be Portuguese and English.
Hey your friend's situation is similar to mine. My first language is Indonesian, my FH's Croatian. We are living in Croatia now, but we are talking to each other in English. The thing is, I speak Croatian well too, and he speaks Indonesian quite well. If we will have kids in the future, I want to raise them trilingual (English, Croatian, Indonesian. Idk if it's possible). But, so far all my friends (Indonesian friends) who are living in Croatia have been giving up in doing this and ending up to speak ONLY Croatian to their kids. Seeing this, I kind of think my original idea about trilingual kids is never gonna work :( Plus, the region in Croatia where we are living now is also speaking German. My FH speaks German very well as everybody here does, but I don't. So this all is driving me crazy picturing the future of my kids!
I am hoping my son will be! We have a Spanish speaking nanny and she speaks mostly Spanish to him. In fact one of his first words is Agua :)
When we have a baby, we will raise him or her to be bilingual as well. My husband will speak only in Hindi to our child and I will only speak English. I think it is likely that whatever language the child speaks once he/she goes off to school will become the dominant language, but that doesn't mean that a different language cannot be used exclusively or half of the time at home so that the child doesn't forget the other language. That's my hope anyway.
Sigh, I would love to have this...my DH is fluent in Russian, and I'd love to have him teach our kids Russian. But then a little part of me feels panicked that I would have nooo idea what they're saying to each other (I don't speak Russian, and I"ve tried, I even have Rosetta Stone--It's a HARD language). So I don't know.
My Aunt and Uncle raised their children to be bilingual. She speaks Spanish and he speaks English. Both boys are fluent in both languages now, though it did take them a little longer to start talking. I've heard that's normal though.
Honestly though, the boys hear Spanish A LOT because my Aunt's cousin and mother live with them and watch them so they hear Spanish allllll day long except when they're in school.
that's awesome that you are wanting to raise a bilingual child - my FI's mother has a different native tongue but she only ever spoke to him in English because she thought he would get bullied at school and stand out too much if he spoke another language. (This is in a pretty rural area where there was a lot of racism back then) So she was trying to do the right thing for him but it didn't work out because obviously he'd love to know another language and it even helps job prospects and stuff later on in life. Expose your baby to as much as possible!
I think it will work. I don't know if you allow your child to watch television, but if you do, perhaps you could limit it to French-only programs? Also, if you're really worried about it, perhaps you could try to speak more French as well? Like other people said, your child will learn English quickly in school, so don't worry about her being behind once she starts her education. :)
I was raised bilingual- I grew up in the States and spoke both English and Greek. Watching Greek movie videos, speaking Greek in the house, and listening to Greek music really helped me keep up the language even though I was in an English speaking country.
This is a wonderful gift you both are giving your child!
Speaking about bilingual families...
I don't have kids yet, so my question is more about my fiancée. I am Anglophone, he is Francophone...when we met my French was stronger than his English and we were living in Quebec and I wanted to practice, so French is 'our' language. Now we live in france so there isn't much english around! I am realising more and more that I yearn for him to speak and understand ,my' language...I feel I am the one who compromises.
We always try to instate language patterns but fall out of them . He says he wants to learn, but hates doing grammar exercises and get annoyed when I ask him to watch movies in the English version...so we only ever watch French made movies because I refuse to watch dubbed crap! (Hoping it will win him over).
The only thing I have found that might work is if I speak to him only in English (without insisting he respond in English). Has anyone else done this? I've been doing it for 3 days (the most success ever!) I also write the grocery list in English...
Do you have any tips to help me remember to speak to him in English, or stories related?
I'll be in the same boat as you in a few years; My FI is French and I am American. We are living in France at the moment, but we always speak English to each other so my French is not as fluent as I would like it to be! I definitely don't want to think about congegating verbs if I have to say something important to my kid, lol.
For the biligual kids I've seen around here, usually each parent speaks their own language. I took a class on language acquistion, and it takes a little longer for the kids to learn both languages at the same time in comparision to peers that are just picking up one language. By the time they start school they'll still be able to interact with their peers, and personally in the long run I think it's for the best. I wish I had learned another language when I was a kid, it's so much harder in your twenties!
@JoBoom: Ah, I didn't read all the responses! I thought I was the only one from France on WeddingBee! Ah, how cool!
I have the same problem, except in English!!! It's horrible, I'm living in France but my level is only around a B1 - B2. I go in and out of phases where I want to learn, and now that I have more time I think I need to start practicing more again. FI and I know each other in English, however more recently he'll start speaking to me in French and we'll do this Franglish thing for an hour but usually one of us just forgets to speak French after some time. The thing is, he is my FI, I actually like speaking to him :)
Movies help, although I put the audio and subtitles in French so it's easier for me to follow - and if I've already seen the movie in English that's even better. I think it's great you are speaking to him in English, keep it up and don't break! I wish FI wouldn't speak English to me, it's too easy for me to switch back and I wish he would push me more. Occationally I look for a language partner so I can meet someone else who I "know" in French, and do 30 minutes in French and 30 minutes in English.
We are planing to raise our kids to be bilingual cuz both my future husband and I can speak English and Russian well, so we want our children to speak at least two languages, better if even more. But I don't think they can pick up a language if you just randomly speak this language around the baby, they need to be in a certian language enviroment for a certian amount of time, so we decide to send our baby to America after Middle school and i am sure this's the easiest way for him or her to speak both languages well and fluent.
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We are but I'm a bit worried it's not going to work so looking for any advice.
My husband's first language is french but I don't speak french (though can follow conversations pretty well). So I only speak english to baby and my husband tries to speak french to her and speak it around the house a bit. But for longer conversations with me he switches back to english or else I just wouldn't understand him well enough.
But I'm worried that as she grows since it'll mainly be english she's exposed to she won't really pay attention to daddy's language as much. Anyone have any experience with this?