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So in the waiting cycle, I've been in the full-blown depressed/resentful part of it, and it's ruining our relationship and interfering with my happiness. After reading Mr. Bee's plan, I've realized this is exactly what I need to do to take back control of my happiness. I'm vowing to lay off on engagement pressure until March, and take care of myself to be happy again.
So...any other Bees wanna join me? Make a pact and check back here once in a while to gauge our progress?
And sorry, I don't know how this got labelled as being in the "Ring" board. 
I suggest you post this in the "Waiting" board. You'll definitely get more responses there.
But I'll do it with you! I kind of already am. I haven't brought up engagement since September and plan to keep quiet until our timeline is up. The timeline that we agreed on was that we'd be engaged by our next anniversary (March 19th) so it fits right in with your pact.
So, what kinds of things are you doing for yourself? I've taken up knitting and I'm trying to get healthy (gym, diet, etc.). I'm also growing my hair out.
Seems like this found its way into the waiting section! I have been trying to keep quiet and if he brings it up to not sound overly pushy. He brings it up a decent amount, but only to tease me....but either way, I'm totally in on this! School is kinda stressful right now but I really want to get myself on track so I can be more relaxed with it! I am going to settle myself down and aim for March as well :) Good luck
Hi there! I'm a brand new bee and this pact is just what I need! My SO hinted that we could be engaged by April but I doubt that's going to happen if I keep bringing it up and getting upset all the time... I am usually such a disciplined person, but with this issue I have had none at all! Unfortunately my impatience has taken its toll on both of us. It's great to know other ladies are in the same boat- makes me feel a touch less "crazy".
Here is what I am focusing on for the next couple months: I am applying for my Master’s degree, I am learning more about strength training and I am planning a snowboarding trip out west.
Good luck to all of us!
I'm not expecting a proposal until next december, so I'll agree to hold off until october, then I may start to go a little crazy!
I'm working on my undergrad degree, so it's keeping me pretty crazy busy. I know my semester will be insane in the spring. I'm also getting my diving certification and going to Honduras for 13 days in late spring =) I'm just glad I have some things to look forward to! I can't promise no wedding or engagement talk with my girlfriends though, I have one that I'll be helping her plan her wedding! But I won't bring it up with SO unless of course he brings it up. =) Best of luck to all of us! Keep each other updated =)
@Shel2523: I got my diving certification in Utila in Honduras in 2003! You will love diving in Honduras! So beautiful 
@lizzyflitz, YAY! That's what I'm hoping! I'm a marine science/Bio major and the opportunity arose! I wasn't about to pass it up! I don't want to board hack, but if you have any advice on underwater cameras or anything diving advice relates (I'm completely new at this) Please PM me! I am trying to gain as much knowledge as possible! Thanks =)
If my proposal doesn't happen by the end of the year or early Jan (my bday), then yes I will be carrying out Mr Bees plan, but not quite yet, I think Christmas plans are keeping me well and truly occupied for now :)
I'm totally in !! So depressed about "waiting" (if I'm even really "waiting") right now that I can't even elaborate on it. So, I'm definitely in. I'm tired...been dating 3 years. I can't really deal much longer.
:-)
Can we do something inspirational to keep each other going? Like weekly check ins or something? I have friends but none that really understand the position I'm in.
Hell, I don't understand anymore.
Hugs
I'm not waiting but I wanted to encourage you. I did not follow this advice and it did nothing but cause problems and put pressure on him even though he said he didn't feel pressured. It's super hard though I know! Good luck :)
@abirdword: I think I will do something like this.
Step 1 work on your life goal in terms of career and education.
Step 2 spend more time with your girlfriends and family.
Step 3 pick up several new hobbies.
Step 4 continue to do romantic things together.
Step 5 Go on an adventure together.
Step 6 discuss what you guys can do to improve your relationship.
Step 7 Be yourself and be happy : )
Good luck ladies! hugs
Hopefully I won't have to and it will only be a few weeks but good luck xox
If i'm still waiting in the new year then I may have to consider it. i BETTER not be though or SO is going to be in a lot of trouble :-)
@Shel2523: I've not been talking about it at all to SO, so I'm good on the pact. But I did want to say that my first degree was in marine biology. Loved it, but going back for a computer science degree. Hoping to do my postgrad in bioinformatics.
@prshadow: Weekly checkups sound great! Should we try for Wednesdays or Thursdays (days of the week where you start to get burnt out and need something to look forward to?).
Glad to see there are other bees on board with this! Also really happy that there's so much support!
I'm not completely following his plan, but I am trying to not mention weddings/engagements/rings for the rest of the year, to just give him a break. I'll be sooo busy with work for the rest of the year that I won't have time to do much else, but I can at least just enjoy dating him for three years (Christmas will be our anniversary) w/o pressuring him to get to the next step in our relationship.
Wednesday/Thursday check-ins sounds great. Let's do it. Title the post 'WEEKLY CHECK-IN'
Good morning bees! I know the wed/thurs check in was probably meant for next week since this thread just got started, but I couldn’t help myself! Lol I’m just so happy to have found this website and all the support that’s here. Feeling the best I have felt about this issue in months!
Loving Adeshewa’s suggestions! I don’t want to ignore my SO, as I love him to bits and I’m already such a busy bee (pardon the pun), but I am focusing more on my own goals now. This week I have been so busy with friends and my Master’s application that I have barely seen him. Last night as we were falling asleep (we live together) I apologized for being so absent. Then he said “Its ok babe, we have the rest of our lives to be together”. I feel like when I stop pushing, he comes closer.
@lizzyflitz: That's super sweet! I love when guys just pull out that sappy stuff!
@lizzyflitz: Hey, it's Thursday so it's still fine! That's so sweet! It's so wonderful to hear that kind of talk unprompted, isn't it?
@abirdword: Awww you waiting bees are awesome! I am working on getting a house for my mom so that has kept me mostly distracted.
I am working on not mentioning the ring. So far I have only done it once this week. It is hard to not think about it.
Im glad that we can bee! strong together ladies :)
Hugs!
He likes to bring it up all the time just to harass me. So I don't know that I can actually get away from talking about it! He asked me yesterday what I got him for Christmas and I said I'll give you one hint...it's not a ring. Just me trying to get back at him. We went to the mall last week and walked around, kind of looking for ideas for presents for people and I felt weird walking past all the jewelry stores like they are staring both of us in the face. I guess we are just in an awkward spot because we both are pretty much planning on our future being together, but I think he is still messed up a bit from his previous engagement. So when he is ready again I think it will happen but for now we are in a funny spot.
On that note, I think I have settled down in the last few weeks and have realised it is going to happen at some point so I just have to sit back and enjoy my relationship!
Hey ladies! Can I jump in on your pact? I need help biting my tongue and being patient!
@abirdword: Count me in! With the holidays coming and my over-analyzing mind, this is probably what I need. After 3.5 years and more talks than I'd like to admit, I need a new method to deal with the "waiting" stage! I'm very new to this site, how do I find the weekly check-in post?
I'd love to join too - if you've read anything else i've written i've done each and every stage of crazy after waiting 8 years and i've only been a member about 4 weeks! Fingers crossed for a proposal within the next 3 months, but it's likely to be within 6. My poor man tries so hard to be tolerant, and for that I think this pact can be an early Christmas present to us both!
@lizzyflitz: awwwww fantastic Lizzy souds like your getting good results! Good luck with your masters applications =^.^=
@sugaree, that's so cool!
An update on me, I got my diving certification and I'm LOVING it!! It's one thing I can do for ME. The only not so great thing is it's expensive! But I'm determined to not let this go by the wayside =) As far as engagement talk with SO, we saw the new Twilight movie and during the wedding scene he kept making comments about US! haha I was like can we just watch the movie and not make this about us?! =) I've been really good about not saying anything unless he says something first. I even went out with my engaged girlfriend yesterday and it actually helped my situation. She was her "normal" self and it helped me to realize that it's just another step in a relationship and that life does go on! So I'm excited for my last year as "single" and I know there are a lot of great things to come! I'm getting SO his diving cert. for Christmas/his birthday since it's something he really wants to do and I really want to do with him! We even talked about doing a diving trip as a "pre-honeymoon" or engagement trip! So lots to look forward too! I'm thankful I know it's late next year, and I feel for all of you bees who are actively waiting over the holidays.
Wednesday check in for me:
I didn't do great this weekend, brought up "marriage". I failed. But, I am back on the wagon (or is it off the wagon) and being cool, calm and collected.
Hopefully when I check in again I'll have better news.
Oh - but one thing I have succeeded in doing this week:
I'm having thanksgiving with him and his insane family (they drove 11 hours after all) tomorrow BUT I made my own plans with my family on Friday evening. He seemed REAL disappointed.
Oh well.
Rock on with Mr. Bee's Plan.....
I am definitely up for Mr. Bee's plan at this point, especially if the holiday's pass by again this year and there is still no proposal.
The hardest part for me is going to be finding things to occupy my time. I don't have a lot of hobbies, and I'm not sure what new hobbies I could pick up that would fit into my lifestyle. I know that knitting and crocheting have picked up in popularity, but I'm not really sure it's for me as far as a waiting activity goes (I foresee myself ending up with 5,000 hats and scarves piled up in the corner of my house, haha).
Before we got boyfriends my bestie and I used to have a spot we'd go to every Saturday night to have a few drinks. I think I will talk to her about starting this up again. I also plan to get back to going to the gym consistently, I think the boost of confidence will help my waiting mood a lot.
I think weekly check-ins would be a great idea. We could all share things that we did during the week that made us feel good, and in doing that we may be able to provide ideas and inspiration to one another for improving each other's 'waiting time'
Mid-week check in:
Overall this week has been great! Bees I really don’t even know what’s happened but I feel so much better about things. Maybe it’s just the waiting cycle and I’m in a peak. But regardless something is working and I’m not sure if it’s even Mr Bees plan. I think it might have just been joining this website. For weeks I was feeling really anxious about where we were heading as a couple and I think it just showed on me. Now having found other women who are going through the same thing (as crappy as it is), I feel more relaxed somehow. I think that is showing too! All I know is that in the past week I feel like my SO has been more in love with me than I’ve felt in months. The past three days he’s left me notes telling me he loves me and tonight I came home to a cooked meal and I truck-load of affection (so not him). Its weird that’s all I have to say…
Or it could be the plan….This week I got a mani-pedi, went to the gym four times and overall just kept super busy with my family and friends. Engagement did come up once but it was kind of organic (well kind of). We were talking about xmas gifts/expenses. It ended with him saying that there “are going to be expenses this year (referring to a ring!) so maybe we should hold up with crazy gift giving”. He also said “I know you wanted a ring at xmas and I want to marry you, I just need more time”. I just felt like for the first time HE was doing the talking instead of me, hinting, talking, pushing, crying…Lol.
Yay for week one! Bring on week two! I’m hoping not to bring it up at all.
Thanks for being here Bees! I couldn’t have done it without you!
@lizzyflitz: Wow, that sounds like a great week! Really glad to hear things have been great for you!
Ok, mid-week check-in for me. I've been much happier this week. We're in a LDR until Dec., and I've actually been happy when talking to him, instead of a Debbie Downer. I've just been happier overall. I did fall off the wagon a couple times in small ways, but they were nothing like the bad waiting I'd had the last few months. I feel it's just going to get easier each week. Haven't had the chance to do something super nice for myself yet, as I've been stressed w/work. :)
@abirdword:i´m so glad to hear this is actually working out for you.
i´m ready to try too....i´ll stop talking about getting engaged at least until my birthday in may... it´s just caused too many stupid fights....and i know for a fact he is trying hard to get there, so there is no need to continue ruining pleasant evenings with dumb fights....besides, i don´t want him to propose because i want him to; i have to be able to give him some space and time to do it his own way....if i fail at this, then there´s no hope of me becoming a good wife for him. =) thank you for the inspiration.
List of Bees in the Plan :)
(in order of posting on link)
abirdword
Black-Eyed-Susan
Shel2523
MissBri
lizzyflitz
prshadow
Adeshewa
Ambergris
Goodatlove
edub
butterflylove
emmylouloubobells
foreverperpetua
MisfitPrincess
Hugs ladies I think your awesome!
whats been keeping me busy this week and most likely the next 3, is getting a house for my mommy. SO is awesome and as an early christmas gift hes helping to fix it up and helped with the deposit. Heres a pic.
In terms of new hobbies im not sure, but i am going to go running at work everyday during lunch and then eat at my desk. That way I dont have to worry about holiday weight gain as much.
This weekend I plan on going dancing with girlfriends!!!! I love dancing! SO can stay home if he wants, Im going dancing : )
Im glad that everyones game plan seems to be shaping up, so far us Bees in the Plan have talked about: spending time with girlfriends, diving lessons (that sounds super exciting),going to the gym, mani-pedi, and graduate shool. Excellent ladies!
Have a super great time with friends and family over the holidays. Really enjoy them, listen to stories, tell some of your own and have fun :)
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