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Anyone up for a selfish rant?

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
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    827 posts
    Busy bee
    babybluz    July 2011   Toronto, Canada

    Is this wrong?

    I'm sick of buying you bottles of wine for your engagement party, then a housewarming gift, then a gift for your bridal shower, then another gift for your wedding...a couple months later i'm buying you a babyshower gift.

    Why can't i get a gift, just for being awesome?  Just a little one...why do you get all the gifts?

    What about the people who don't get engaged, then married, then have babies....

    Cheesus Christ!  Am i being selfish...seriously?

     
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    3,679 posts
    Sugar bee
    cyndistar3    September 3, 2011   Post Falls ID

    I feel like this every now and then too... is it wrong? perhaps... does that change how I feel? no, not really.

     
    3.
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    1,434 posts
    Bumble bee
    JenniMichele    May 22, 2011   Huntington Beach, CA

    I understand it too.

    Could you just opt out of the gift giving? If this is all for one person, I would understand opting out.

     
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    337 posts
    Helper bee
    MyFavouriteChords    October 2, 2010  

    Ha,  Sounds like that episode of SATC.  I know what you mean though,  it can really add up after a while.

     
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    Busy bee
    MrsE.ToBe    October 1, 2011   MA

    @MyFavouriteChords: that's what i was thinking!

    @babybluz: i think we all feel this way once in a while.

     
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    Bee Keeper
    jo.lee    September 10, 2011   Indianapolis

    I typically miss at least one pre-wedding activity. Usually the bridal shower, since it's all about gifts and I can't afford much of one. :/

     
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    Bumble bee
    ilovenycmissie    September 2009   nyc

    I used to feel the same way when I felt like all I did was buy gifts for other people's kids and weddings

    til it was my wedding, my shower, it was mahhhhvelous!!

    your time will come, it'll be great

     
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    Honey bee
    MrsNeutrino    July 2012  

    lol this is so funny! You should have a self appreciation day! I would totally do this if all of my friends were in the same place! Every other weekend would be a different friend! Give gifts, tell me how pretty I look while I agree, bring me food, awesomeness

     
    9.
    827 posts
    Busy bee
    babybluz    July 2011   Toronto, Canada

    Soon enough - my shower is in June...i.can't.frikken.WAIT!

    And to think i didn't want to have one.  Then I got to thinking - payback!

     
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    248 posts
    Helper bee
    An Alaskan Bride    August 13, 2011   Alaska

    Ugh, I hear ya. I have one friend who has been married/ divorced several times (she's not 30 yet) and I get resentful everytime I buy a wedding present for her. Um, can't you just re-wrap the other 3 I've already gotten you? ;)

     
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    655 posts
    Busy bee
    aspasia475    January 1, 2015  

    @babybluz:

    Good gracious! Those of us who don't get married and don't have babies, get to keep all of our income for ourselves and make good investments. Which means we get to become dilletante society hostesses and hold numerous fancy formal evening parties instead of having to put all our eggs in our "one big day" wedding basket. We're the ones who inherit our mother's wedding china, because our sisters already went out and "chose a pattern", so we end up with a full set of place-settings from the outset, and get to focus on adding the fancy serving pieces and settings for extra courses. And, when we come home from a hard day at work and just want to unwind, we don't have to clean up after other people, or be bothered by someone who leaves the seat up and never makes the bed.

    Think of the trade-offs, and luxuriate in what we've got going, baby!

     
    12.
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    Busy
    Beekeeper
    PurpleUnicorn    April 19, 2011  

    this is too funny. and i totally thought of SATC. which was an awesome episode. i have been to register for one big gift ever since.

     
    13.
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    225 posts
    Helper bee
    CharlotteMJ    November 2012   Knoxville, TN

    I subscribe to "it's the thought that counts" way more than I probably should. None of my close friends are really materialistic and I have actually never been to a bridal or baby shower ever (if that gives you an idea of what my friends are like)...

    My friends eloped a year or so ago. I went to a garage sale and got them a stuffed turtle with a picture frame in it, and also sent along a big box of costume jewelry that has been floating around my closet since my aunt died in 2005. I wrote a card about how much I love them and how I don't have much cash but I really think they'd appreciate my random gift (she loves turtles to the point of having turtle tattoos, and she makes jewelry on the side... and I know there is another half to their marriage but I have only met him once and he is cool with girly gifts).

    And she loved it. :)

     
    14.
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    Blushing bee
    Ellabellaxo    May 21, 2011  

    That seems to be the way things go though. People are going from wedding to buying a home to a baby (not necessairly in that order). You're not alone. I had a similar situation -throw a birthday in there as well!

     
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    Helper bee
    cyrgycyrg    August 12, 2011   Canada

    @babybluz: I am with you on that, and I think it is a valid arguement!! When my brother got married, his fiance(now wife) had 2 or 3 engagement parties and then another 3 wedding showers.. You start to feel a little used, especially if all the parties are concerning the same couple. I havent had any engagement/weddng showers and dont plan on it either, but that was our choice mostly because FH and I really have everything we could want.

     
    16.
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    Blushing bee
    stranger1    June 11, 2011  

    Ughhhhhh, yes...it does get annoying.  Like, do you really need a baby shower for your 3rd kid?  FI and I never had an engagement or housewarming party; we are having one wedding shower and that's it.  I had a friend that had three (yes, 3!!) wedding showers for the same damn wedding!!!

     
    17.
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    2,568 posts
    Sugar bee
    Wonderstruck    September 18, 2011   Detroit, MI

    Can I vent too? FI's sister got married like a year and a half ago. For their shower FI and I paid together for a very nice outdoor rocking couch thing they wanted. Then I got her a very nice Bride bathing suit from VS for her bachelorette party. Then gave money at the wedding. And when her or her husband's birthdays roll around I pitch in for a gift or gift card.

     

    My birthday was today, and all I got was a card. I smiled and thanked her, but on the inside I'm feeling a bit bitter about it.

     
    18.
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    Wannabee
    emilylebla0299    June 27, 2012   UK

    ohh i understand.....i would suggest ordering online for yourself. try potterymarket to get variety of gifts on home decor, kitchen items, personalised gifts.

     
    19.
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    Busy bee
    kermie    December 20, 2011  

    No one bought FI and I shit when we got engaged.

    We'll probaby get very little in the way of gifts/cash for our wedding.

    I doubt I'm going to get a bridal shower since no one seems to want to throw one for me :(

    I was at an engagement party for friends the other day...I found out from the sister of the groom that I was *supposed to offer a gift of $200...I brought a nice card?

    Sigh.

     

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