Post # 1
We are having a rabbi perform the ceremony, but my mom is really wanting to include a cantor as well to sing. It feels a little over the top for me personally, too serious, somber and too religious for the kind of wedding I want to have, but I do want to be open minded because it seems to be important to her. Has anyone brought in a cantor? What thare the different ways that one can perform/ be included? I’d love to hear about some people’s experiences so I can get a sense of the various ways in which I could include a cantor in way that feels comfortable.
Post # 3
@LilyMarie: we were going to ask our cantor to marry us since our rabbi was not available.
however, sundown was too late for us to start even in octoberso we shopped around for a reform rabbi to marry us.
i have seen cantors perform weddings and it’s beautiful.
meet with your rabbi and cantor and see what the cantor would include in the ceremony.
Post # 4
We’re hoping to get a rabbi and a cantor from our synagogue to perform our wedding, but only if we can get a specific cantor. We’re closer to the female rabbi at our shul, and she has such a gorgeous voice.
If you can have both, I think it would be nice. You can find cantors who don’t sing as somberly. From my experience, younger female cantors tend to have a lighter sound to their voice, and are more lively. This experience only comes from hearing both our younger female and older male cantors at our shul.
Post # 5
I meant female cantor, not female rabbi.
Post # 6
We’re having both our rabbi and cantor. I hadn’t planned to include the cantor, in part because it seemed unnecessary and in part because the cantor is new to our congregation and I don’t know him at all. However, my FMIL wanted a cantor, so we’re going with it. I don’t know exactly how he’ll be involved, but I do know we’ll have him sing the seven blessings in Hebrew. We had the option of whether we wanted them done by friends/family, the rabbi, or the cantor. We decided to have them read in English by friends/family, so we could use that honor as a way to recognize people that are special to us, and then have the cantor sing the Hebrew to keep that traditional component and not have friends worrying about stumbling through the Hebrew.
Post # 7
@LilyMarie: We had both a rabbi and a cantor. However, we did have a very religous ceremony. The cantor sang the seven blessings and several of the other prayers. The rabbi performed the ceremony. It was beautiful and I was glad we did it like that.
Post # 8
@LilyMarie: You could just ask her to come up and sing a song. I don’t know much about your cantor… one of my rabbis sings and plays guitar (Larry Karol) and also has some music that I like. I think it would be so cool if he could sing something at my wedding, maybe when we are circling or something. He has a wedding blessing song that I really like.
Here’s his website – http://www.larrykarol.com/a-new-beginning.html
Unfortunately “Wedding Blessing” isn’t on youtube or anything but you can download the MP3 for 99 cents from Amazon. I think you’d need his permission to use the song but I have the feeling he would be delighted about it!
So maybe you could use some music like that, it’s a little more laidback than say the High Holiday cantoring.
Post # 9
@LilyMarie: Oh I just had another idea! You could have the cantor sing for the processional and recessional. She could even lead all your guests in a nigun, that would be so awesome to walk out to! There are some other cool ideas like that in Anita Diamant’s book The New Jewish Wedding, I so recommend it for your wedding planning!
Post # 10
@nawella: Awesome, thanks! I’ll check it out
Post # 11
Absolutely!! I think it makes the whole thing feel more romantic and important! I always ALWAYS miss a cantor at Jewish weddings that skimp on them. Beautiful addition. Go for it for sure!!