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There was a pretty lengthy discussion about it on this post. You might want to check it out if you haven't seen it yet.
I have to admit, your comment about not wanting to feel like you can have sex whenever you want surprised me. I always figured that next level of intimacy was one of the big perks to marriage!
Well, yes, the next level of intimacy is definitely a perk and one we're looking forward to with much anticipation :-D and it would be nice to be able to have it whenever we want. But I guess it's more the idea that your partner is there to fulfill your sexual desires. We can (and will) seek to meet those desires in each other, but having times of abstinence will also make sure our focus isn't so much on the sex but that we're developing other areas of intimacy, too, seeking the good of each other and not just focusing on our own desires.
"risk aborting a baby (which the morning-after pill commonly does)"
No it doesn't. The morning-after pill is not an abortive. It's just a higher dose of birth control pills, and if you're already pregnant it does nothing. You're confusing it with RU-486, which is the abortion pill and can only be dispensed by a doctor, not a pharmacist.
@ azula - What MaybeeBecca is referring to is the Catholic theological understanding of the morning after pill effects, not the popular/mainstream definition of abortion. In Catholicism, life is created at the moment of fertilization, so abortion is any conscious effort to stop the conception at any point in the process. Since the morning after pill disallows fertilized eggs to attach to the uterine lining, Catholics who ascribe to this theology believe that is abortion. Also, since most people take the morning after pill with the understanding that it may be their fertile period and they may already have a fertilized egg that has not yet attached itself, it is a conscious effort to end that process (thereby making the pill an abortive method). It can be a little confusing, but here a website that explains the theology: http://www.morningafterpill.org/catholic-teaching.html.
I don't want to start a debate, but I just saw that comment and thought it needed to be addressed because it is factually incorrect. I do know that Catholic teachings say that a life begins at the moment of conception, but my understanding is that scientifically a pregnancy is defined as starting at implantation, and since the morning-after pill doesn't do anything to an already implanted embryo, then it's not an abortion in the scientific sense of the word. It's not confusing to me at all, it's just two different worldviews. Basically, if someone has a religious opposition to using birth control pills, they're most usually bound to have a religious opposition to the morning-after pill, which is just a higher dose of the regular pill.
Ah, gotcha! :) Since this was posted in the Catholic board, I thought maybe you just didn't know the theology behind her original statement. Anyway, I think it's good to have lots of clarification on both the medical and theological views (which I think our posts combined took care of!)
Yeah, I think I didn't notice at first that it was in the Catholic board, hence the confusion. I noticed when I was writing my second post, oops... But it's ok, right, since like you said, our posts have basically covered all the bases on the morning-after pill :)
The pill is an abortifacent drug, because it will, at times, allow for fertilization, but makes sure that it it will not implant (or perhaps implant, but automatically shed with a period, instead of letting it live.)
Back to the original question. And MaybeBecca, I'm refreshed by your attitude. I use NFP. I have been using it for about a year and a half. I, however wasn't using it on my honeymoon. So cannnot comment on dealing. The only thing I think to say is that if your are using NFP and cannot have intercourse on your honeymoon, you either have to risk pregnancy or wait. It's just a matter of it kind of being sucky.
Also, I don't know about your cycles, but I find it difficult to say for certain that I'd be fertile at a particular point, especially for the entire length of a honeymoon. Hopefully you'll find there are at least a few days you can have sex.
Good luck. Hang in there.
I don't think the OP was talking at all about the morning after pill. Actual birth control pills are abortifacient. But I guess the arugment is over when life actually begins. :(
We are using the method outlined in Taking Charge of Your Fertility which is apparently even more effective than NFP....but it's the same idea....tracking your body and knowing when you're fertile. Hope everything works out for you.
@MissPopcorn, the method in Taking Charge of Your Fertility (TCOYF) is also known as the sympto-thermal method (STM), which incidentally is also what I use. These are all types of NFP, which is an umbrella term. The STM as outlined in TCOYF and in other places is indeed the most effective type of NFP (not more effective than NFP---just wanted to clarify for anyone else who's reading this and might not be super familiar with all this)
@maybeebecca - Since you are using NFP for personal reasons (not totally religious), have you considered a different method of birth control for your fertile times or just your honeymoon? With condoms or a spermicidal foam, you wouldn't be altering your chemical balance or risking abortion, but I supposed you could "use them anytime".
I'm sure you considered this but I was just wondering what your thoughts are on it.
When we marry, we will be using NFP. I'm hopping to get trained in the Creighton Method, but who knows. I've been semi tracking my fertility for years as I began tracking myself for a research paper in college. I don't really chart anymore though, but I recognize the symptoms. I am looking forward though to being formally trained in it so that I can use NFP well.
In regards to predicting whether you'll ovulate at the time of you wedding, I don't know if you can predict that months ahead. That's relying way too heavily on the calendar rather than symptoms. Your cycle often is bound to get off course especially if you're looking at months ahead.
Honestly I'm more concerned with getting my period than ovulating. I have some concerns that would lead me to hopping we get pregnant later in our marriage, but I am open to getting pregnant earlier. It will be scary, but I have confidence God will take care of us. I think if I had a super serious reason to abstain really strictly during our fertile times right at the start of our marriage, I'd question whether or not now is the right time to marry.
To me there are situations where you have to abstain strictly, where you may want to moderate yourself but not necessarily be super strict and times where you shouldn't need to abstain. Granted in saying this, my fiance and I are planning on having a large family.
I was going to say that Chelseamorning is our resident expert on this. I'm glad to see she weighed in!
I'm a big proponent of learning NFP, if for no other reason than to tune in to your body more!
My fiance and I will be using NFP (the Sympto-thermal method) and we are super excited! Being the groom, it's so cool to be able to be involved with tracking her fertility. This will bring a huge level of communication to our relationship. And yes, we also are finding out that for the first part of our honeymoon, she will be fertile. So we will abstain from having sex. We have been able to abstain throughout our entire relationship, so waiting a few more days won't be a big deal. Plus...going from not being very physically intimate to having sex is a big jump and we would rather ease into it. =]
I think the key is to talk about it with your finance so you are both on the same page. It won't work if you don't know what the other person is thinking/feeling about abstaining during the fertile times.
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I'm not Catholic (though I was raised Catholic), but I thought this board would probably be the best place to ask this because of the church's teaching on contraception....
Is anyone out there using/planning to us NFP (Natural Family Planning)? My FI and I are planning on using it (the billings method) because we don't want to chemically alter my body, risk aborting a baby (which the morning-after pill commonly does), or live with an attitude that we can have sex whenever we want just because we're married. I've been charting for a couple months now and it looks like I may be right at the peak of fertility right on my wedding night :-P. For those of you using it, how are you handling NFP and the honeymoon?