(Closed) Anyone want to critique my first haiku?

posted 7 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 4
1543 posts
Bumble bee

It’s deep. Or at least deeper than what my logical, shallow mind can wrap it’s brain around, lol! For some reason it brings up vague imagery of thick fog surrounding shadowy figures……(shrugs shoulders) Sounds good to me, but what do I know?? Undecided

Post # 5
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I like that – your imagery is very good. You could do with a “backstory”, so you could maybe write a second to place in front of the haiku above.

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