(Closed) Anyone wanted to give up planning?

posted 8 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Have you wanted to give up planning and runaway with your FI?
    Yes! Yes! But planning WILL get easier. : (22 votes)
    65 %
    You may regret not having the event later on. : (8 votes)
    24 %
    Take the stress free route! Honeymoon! : (2 votes)
    6 %
    Other (please list.) : (2 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    YES! I am sooooo with you on this. My family would be quite upset and hurt if we did get married without them, but due to all of the $ and planning that goes into a wedding I have certainly felt like it’s all for not and that we should just run off and get married (afterall, it IS about the marriage and not the wedding!). In fact, I still have those thoughts on occasion, but to avoid losing my mind I have talked to my mom and arranged for deadlines so I can keep my head on straight. I am certain you and I aren’t the only ones who have experienced this, and people get married every day so I’m sure it gets better. 🙂

    Congrats and Best Wishes!

    -Bella

    Post # 4
    Member
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    The beginning is overwhelming.  Things do start to fall into place after you have the venue picked.  I say concentrate on booking the bigs things–venue, caterer, photog, DJ/band early.  After that is done you can take a couple monthe break and then delve into the smaller stuff.  That is what I did.  Breaking into chunks makes it a lot more sane.  Also, yes, the wedding is really all about family–don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  And really, that isn’t a bad thing–it makes it special.  Once you make peace with that, it also becomes easier.  Of course, if your family is disfunctional, then maybe it would be best to elope.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I’m definintely torn between wanting to elope and wanting to have a wedding! On one hand, the boyfriend does not like weddings (Ironically enough, he’s going to one today), doesn’t like planning because it is overwhelming and expensive and I’m sometimes in the same camp. On the other hand, I want to plan something truly special to both of our families and feel like eloping would be completely disrespectful (I’m the only girl in the family) and makes both sets of parents, as well as my grandmothers and aunts very mad.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If you had asked me 2 weeks ago I would have been right where you were. But now that I’ve gotten the big things sorted (venue, ceremony, dress, flowers, transport, honeymoon, photography, rings) I feel a lot better. It does get easier. And once those big decisions aren’t looming over your head you can feel like you can rest and relax.

    Post # 7
    Member
    167 posts
    Blushing bee

    I have this thought just about every other day!  I keep going forward because I know it’s important to our family & friends, but also important that FH mark this occasion in a special way.  We ended up canceling our first wedding attempt because the stress of planning and tension created by conflicting family expectations and poor communication.  This time around, my FH and I have worked to be very focused on keeping the ‘end goal’ in mind and our relationship as the priority.  It sounds corny, but trying to keep that perspective has really helped the stress.  It also has helped that we were able to save some money so that we can pay for the wedding ourselves to avoid the added stress of having too many cooks in the kitchen!  

    In some ways, I think the compromising and stress-management required in wedding planning is great practice for being married!  However, whatever is best for you and your FH’s relationship is what should take priorty.  Good luck and definitely rely on these types of forums to give you support!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1120 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    We thought about eloping and having a spectacular honeymoon, especially when the stress started to get bad…but we knew that a lot of people’s feelings would have been hurt. I know as the couple getting married it’s really about what we personally want, but family relationships are important to both of us and we knew that we would have regretted it.

    It sure was nice to fantasize about once in a while though, just to get a break from the planning!

    Post # 9
    Member
    530 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    the poll doesn’t have an option for “nope, i haven’t wanted to give up planning!” 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    7976 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    oh yes, definitely! I get so fed up with all the details…. I’m so so so ready to be MARRIED and sort of think the whole rigamorale of the wedding is such a HUGE waste of time and money…

    BUT it’s important to J, so I’m viewing it as a chance to see my nearest and dearest and party together. We’ve compromised a LOT on what we want (he wanted big and fancy, I wanted destination or an elopment), so hopefully it’ll be fun for all still. 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2010

    Oh yes. It’s stressful, especially when the nightmares set in. Those are the worst! Usually when it gets bad I just cuddle up with FH and tell him something like “Are you sure you want to marry me? Because this wedding is just a bit too ridiculous for my liking.” He usually says something sweet back like how amazing I am for planning it, etc. and I just take a break for a few days. I promise! It will get better!

    Post # 13
    Member
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If you get your close friends involved or siblings it might take some of the stress off of you. I got to the point where i just cried my eyes out and said im dont planning! then the next day i got my venue and dress haha so you never know just when your at your witts end things tend to fall into place. I dont know if your religious or not but praying about it helped ease alot of my stress!

    Post # 15
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    at this very moment, i’m considering hiring a wedding planner… i work full time, doing my masters part time and tutor kids for extra money. therefore, planning a wedding at times, can be really stressful. i’m just worried that if i go the wedding planner route, it will take away from my wedding planning ‘experience’. part of me feels like i’ve waited so long for this moment that i should totally just embrace it- suckiness (of not getting everything you want + stress) and of course the fun bits! bagh, i don’t know. will see. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I ask my FI everyday if he wants to run away and elope! Seems so much easier but we’re determined to keep trucking along on the planning.

    The topic ‘Anyone wanted to give up planning?’ is closed to new replies.

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