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Both because I am on a strict budget, and because I am planning an eco-friendly wedding, I want to wear a used dress. I was wondering what experiences others have had with used dresses. Did you still feel like it was "the one"? Did you feel like you had to settle? Did you get it online or did you go to a thrift shop?
When I was married previously, I wandered into a bridal resale shop one day (alone) just to look around. I ended up trying on a dress that I loved. Imagine my surprise when it fit me like a glove. It was a designer dress (Mori Lee, if memory serves) I called my mom and had her come see it. I think we paid $300 or something and I didn't need a single alteration. Nothing. It was perfect and I never felt like I settled.
This time, I'm wavering between buying a used dress and having one made. Just depends on whether I can find my "vision"
I got a used dress online (I think from OnceWed?). I really felt like it was the one - not settling at all. It's helpful if you've tried on a similar silouette before, if you're ordering online. It was a very satisfying transaction. I tried looking at thrift/vintage stores, and didn't find anything that wasn't straight out of 1980...your mileage may vary. I think the idea of an eco-friendly wedding is great!
Mine is not used but it was purchased from a girl who bought a different dress for her wedding and couldn't return the original =)
Mine was used. Tried on one in a store and got it a lot cheaper after i found one that was worn once from preownedweddingdresses.com. Love it!
I wore a sample and no, I didn't feel like i settled. I was thrilled to be able to get 'more' dress with less money.
I found mine through bravobride.com and I wouldn't have changed a thing! It was perfect.
Being tall I haven't even considered that route as any dress that's been hemmed at all will not work :-(
I like my sample (used?) -- designer unknown but exquisite -- much better than the brand new Maggie I have on order (believe it or not).
BUT, I have an important question -- do we get these cleaned? and if so, before or after alterations? if you girls say before alterations, what do you do if the dresses get wrinkled (or God forbid, dirty in some way) during alterations??
Get it cleaned before alterations if it has noticable dirt/wear, but otherwise, you can do it afterward, as well as get it steamed and pressed.
Hi krissycake. So I'm still confused -- clean before or after alterations? you kind of indicate both? it does have a tiny bit of wear (very little) but it's awfully wrinkled on the bottom.... but the seamstress seems to work at a tiny table where she also eats lunch, so i dunno?
also, does dry cleaning these precious gowns make them go limp or yellow the white?
I was naive when I bought my dress and didn't realize how many once worn dresses were available. I'd totally do it if I hadn't already bought (although I'm taller than the average girl at 5"10', so it may not have worked as many dresses are hemmed).
You should probably get it cleaned before, since it may shrink a little during cleaning (or so I was told by several people).
I wore a used dress I got from the Brides Against Breat Cancer sale up in Seattle. Even after trying on tons of dresses at bridal shops, I knew it was the one. :) I payed 450.00 for it and it was perfect! I think buying used is the way to go.
@JoeBeth12....my sample was cleaned BEFORE alterations. Then I had it pressed before the wedding. Make sure you know what can/can't be done to the fabric on your dress. Mine was dupioni silk and I was told to make sure it should avoid being pressed with water (the place I went to used dry steam and tested a section before commiting to doing the entire dress). The shop did advise not having it cleaned a second time, just pressed, because they felt it could lose some of it's luster.
Great info ladies!! I'm totally going towards getting a preowned dress. This info has really helped me understand the whole thing a bit better!
It may sound silly but the only thing holding me back from going this route is "karma." Did anyone think about this? How did you get over it? I really want to!
@markyk What do you mean by "karma"? Like bad vibes?
A friend of mine was trying to get to me to buy her other friend's dress whose marriage lasted less than a month. I was like uh...no thanks. I'm ok with that if I don't know about it I guess!! LOL
markyk - well you can consider it "good karma". The dress has been through the happy event once successfully, has received all the blessings, and is imbibed with positive energy - hope it helps:)
back to the topic - I too have worn a used sample dress. It did not bother me at all, on the contrary I was happy to put it back to good use.
Regarding altertations/cleaning order... I had the same dilemma. When asking around I've noticed a pattern: all cleaners I consulted were telling me to clean it before alterations, while seamstresses were telling me to do it afterward. When I finally chose a seamstress and she saw the dress she told me to alter it first and then clean it. This is what I did and it was perfect. It could depend on the fabric as well. The fabric of my dress is silk satin (polyester).
I say go for it! I am looking for a used dress too, because I think it's ridiculous to pay so much for a dress that you'll only wear for a few hours. Plus it is definitely eco-friendly! Why not recycle it? I don't think that it matters who has worn it before - it will become your dress for that preceious moment, and if it looks good then I see no qualms :) check out www.preownedweddingdress.com too!
I didn't, but I really wish I had. I found some dresses I really loved on preownedweddingdress.com, but unfortunately had already bought a dress from a bridal salon and couldn't justify getting a different one. It would have been cheaper, more eco-friendly, and I would have gotten a dress I actually liked better...
I think it's really about your own perspective, though. If you'd feel terribly deprived of the bridal store experience, it's probably not the best way to go (although you could still try on dresses at a bridal shop but just not buy any of them...). I know that in my area (Philly), there is a shop that specializes in second-hand bridal gowns, as well. It's not a thrift store, it's more of a boutique, and you can get the the whole "experience" there. Maybe there's something like that in your area, too?
Thanks for all the great advice and inspiration!! I had not even thought about the cleaning issues! I will definitely let the hive know what I find!!
I can't praise preownedweddingdresses.com enough! I bought a 3K Lea Ann Belter for $1,200 -- i got my dream dress in my reality budget. Plus, I also think it brings with it good juju since they're happily married with a kiddo and 2/3 of a kiddo (on the way).
Thanks gals for the cleaning/alterations advice.
One more point on the posting question itself: I got my second dress (lol) at Bridal Garden in NYC (the sample or it's brand new; not sure actually). And the first I've ordered, a Maggie, from RK Bridal. ANYHOW, the preowned dresses look amazing -- I'm seeing $6,000 gowns on there for a fraction, I mean, a small fraction, of their original cost. These are gorgeous, high-end couture gowns. I say get over the karma. Once this gown goes on your bod on your day, you will most definitely make it your own!
On the cleaning issue: I bought a sample dress that had makeup stains on the inside and the woman at the bridal salon said that they can clean it or I could just do it myself since they spot clean the dresses with Ivory soap and a damp cloth. I don't think this works on all fabrics but she said most dresses can even go in the ashing machine on gentle cycle. I would not go that far but I took her up on the spot cleaning, it was inside my dress but worked fine.
I actually just went to a Brides Against Breast Cancer used wedding dress sale this past weekend and while I didn't find anything that I liked (probably because I went on the fourth day of the sale) I was surprised how many great dresses there were. They ranged from $100 for David's Bridal type dresses to $800 for designer dresses. There were some great deals! They also had shoes and veils for cheap.
I bought both my first and second dress at brides against breast cancer. It's really a great charity.
They have a store that's open all the time in South Carolina, but here's a link to their tour: http://pepmembers.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=1434
I didn't even think twice about buying a used dress and I don't see any reason why I wouldn't try to sell my dress when I'm done with it (although I really love it, so it's going to be hard!).
I got mine at a consignment shop, La Bella Bridal in Occoquan. The person there was incredibly helpful. And besides saving money and being eco-friendly, it meant that I got to see the actual dress on me before buying it. And I was able to walk out with the dress that same day, instead of waiting for months for an order to come in.
I got mine at Brides Against Breast Cancer. I think it was more flattering on me than any of the other 30+ dresses I tried on.
I'm wearing a used gown and I couldn't be happier! I got an amazing...I mean amazing deal on my dress. It originally retailed for $4,700 and I bought it for $425! The woman who sold it to me bought it from a consignment shop, so I'm the 3rd bride that will be wearing this dress. I got it online and it was a very smooth transaction. The dress is in pretty good condition, but one of the buttons came loose and it will have to be reattached.
And it's funny because when I received it, it felt like it had a lot of history to it. The bride who sold it to me loved it and it's kind of like passing on the love with the dress. I kept thinking to myself, "This dress has been photographed hundreds of times, has received hundreds of compliments, was loved and wanted by other brides who couldn't wait to put it on, and will be cherished in photos for years to come." It really felt kind of like a gift and made the dress that much more special. I never thought I would feel that way.
I tried on about 80 dresses in 6 different salons and a Filene's Running of the Brides event, before purchasing "the one". And the funny part is...I didn't even try it on! I had full confidence that it was perfect because I had tried on so many different styles. I didn't set out to get a used dress, but anything I liked was over $2,000 and I couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a dress so I turned to the web.
I never feel like I had to settle, actually, quite the contrary. I feel like a complete winner - I got my dream dress at a mere fraction of the cost and now I can put those saving toward something else! Good luck!
I love my dress and got it at OnceWed.com. I tried it on in the store previously before actually getting it and I could not be happier. The seller was absolutely sweet and she and the hubs are so cute together. I think if anything I would be getting good juju from them.
my dress is definately preused!
My dress was originally handmade lace curtains in my great-grandmother's house. My Grandma's sister made it into a gown for her wedding, years later my mother found it in the wardrobe, took off the train and modified it a little and wore it for her wedding...
Now it's my turn! I was devestated to pull it out of the wardrobe the second time to find it had been very badly kept- the wardrobe was damp and it was coffee brown!!! I have had it professionally cleaned where there was a 50% chance (quote) "it could turn to soup" because of its age. After hyperventilating for about a week to wait for results I was extremely lucky and it has turned out beautifully!!! I have modernised the top a little to suit me better...and I'm pretty excited to be able to wear it.
The the lace is so old that when you look closely there are some tiny holes and the underneath layer is not in great condition, but it is beautiful!!!! To be honest I am just thrilled that I can wear it! I think vintage dresses or ever pre-worn dresses have character ;) love the eco idea as well.
One of my best friends really wanted a certain Vera Wang gown that was way too pricey, so she rented a dress. I can tell you it was stunning and when she put it on, it didn't seem at all like a "used dress." Personally, I bought a sample gown, so while it hasn't exactly been used, it has certainly been tried-on. I understand what you are saying about whether it loses something personal if it is used, but I have a feeling when I slip on the gown with my own alterations, my own veil, hair make-up, etc, the last thing on my mind will be whomever else tried on the gown.
Plus, re-wearing a gown used to be very traditional. Trust your gut instinct, but I know for my friend with the rented Vera Wang, she was so happy having the exact dress she wanted. I am quite certain she ended up much more pleased than she would have if she'd settled on her second or third choice dress, whether it was new or not.
I fell in love with my dress at the Bridal Store, but the price tag wasn't so friendly. My father was planning to buy my dress, but still i felt bad having him pay so much for a dress that i would wear for 10 hours. I ended up finding a girl that wore the same dress same size in her wedding this past August. She sold it to me for half the price you pay in the store. It's perfect..i'm in love : ) I don't feel like i'm settling at all. : )
Any other sites people can recommend for preowned dresses? Here's what I have so far...
*preownedweddingdresses.com
*Oncewed.com
*Bravobride.com
For anyone worried about the cleaning issue, I've now found some instructions on cleaning a wedding dress yourself.
For people who have sent dresses to be cleaned before wearing, any recommendations on how to insure that the cleaners will not damage the dress? I've read a few horror stories on dresses being ruined at the cleaners. Outside of trying to find local recommendations, anything else to try to make sure it goes smoothly?
I found a lovely gown at a sample sale. There is nothing noticeable on the dress, but I still wanted to get it cleaned so it felt ready for me to wear. Wondering if i should just let it be now? I'd much rather wear it as is than have it get damaged.
I bought a sample dress off ebay. So it was used in the sense that it had been tried on, but it was clean b/c it hadn't been worn outside. It worked out great and was a HUGE budget saver!!! It is in my bio.
I actually just wrote a blog post about not spending over $100 on a wedding gown here it links to all of the pics of my dress and has a long list of places you can look for "the one" online!
@swissbride: Wonderful story! I absolutely love the story. Can we see pictures? PLEASE? As a child I dreamt of wearing my mother's dress, but sadly I outgrew her petite frame when I was 10. I am, however, using the diamond that both my mother and grandmother wore in their engagement rings in mine. I love the tradition and setiment!
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