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Yes, multiple times. For us it was a wedding or a honeymoon, not both, and I wish we would have done what you described. As it gets closer, I just get more stressed out and realize that it's more a spectacle than anything. Pew bows, ring styles, dresses, flowers -- NONE OF IT MATTERS. There, I said it. It's been foisted upon us by marketers who want us to buy it, and it's made us all feel like we "need" these wedding accoutrements to make it "special." Blech. It's not even fun anymore, so what's the point? I could get just as married in private and probably enjoy it more. Too late now, but I hope someone, sometime, somewhere who is still early in her planning and unsure of how to proceed stumbles on this thread and it will free her enough to run away with her groom!
@Amaryllis: Thank you for saying it! Why do we need all this crap!! We have DIY projects coming out the ying yang and we have saved an incredible amount of money. But still! What in the heck am I going to do with all this stuff? Do we really need centerpieces and cake stands? It is totally about the spectacle, which weirds me out. I know that our family and friends want to be there to share our special moment, but it's not necessary or required. It saddens me there are a lot of people going into debt to create the image that has be thrown at them their whole lives. It is a day, just one day. In order to go on our delayed honeymoon, we cut our guest list into half, made sacrifices in every way possible. We're not getting the wedding we wanted anyway, so what is the point? Thank you for being brave and sharing!!
I sometimes joke about when I get really stressed but I could never actually go through with it
I'm having this wedding for my mom (only daughter) and it has been such a painful experience. I hate it! I can't wait for the day after the wedding.
I've had these thoughts too. If I had to start again I would just go somewhere tropical. Way easier!!
I've actually stopped totally caring about lots of things. Yes I want a cake but I don't care what it looks like. Flowers, ya someone pick them out for me. It goes on and on.
If you would have asked me in the months before the wedding I would've said yes. But now that it's done, I'm glad we did it :)
I'm still engaged, the wedding is over a year away, and already I suggest eloping on a weekly basis!! and we're going for a 'small' wedding! it's a nightmare. everyone has an opinion, people try to helpfully suggest things that are NOT helpful (i.e., why don't you invite this person, why don't you do this, etc.) and instead of it being all about you as a couple who love each other it turns into something else. But what is scary for me is I didn't realise my FI wants the whole traditional thing and i really don't want to blindly follow what everyone else does and it feels like a runaway horse. and we have a small budget and 30 guests and yet it's a total pain. If he was up for eloping, i'd do it this weekend.
oh yeah, we are going somewhere tropical and it totally doesn't make it easier, i thought it would as well, but it doesn't.... just other stuff to worry about instead
and Hello Bees - this is my first post! have been on this website for months! finally took the plunge 
I thought it many times!!!!!!!!!! Nearing the end of my planning I found my happy median....
I cut NUMEROUS things out/off my "must have" list and did what I could.....
ie We were gonna rent a "just married" car.. 67 VW VAn! Went perfect with our theme... in the end though we didn't need it so I scrapped it!
Other things that were on my DIY "must to do list"... SCRAPPED!!!! Our guests were JUST fine without pew pomad... whatever they're called, and other things that really only I would've noticed!
I AM SO GLAD we still had our wedding b/c the day was WONDERFUL!... once I got back to the "marrying the awesome man God had for me" lol
Yes. I really regret not eloping. This wedding is turning into something that I really didn't want. While eloping isn't want I wanted, neither is this wedding. At least I wouldn't have the stress of planning all this though. :(
@inamani: wow, I'm really sorry to hear your mom is so controlling. That is just terrible. Have you told her how unhappy you are?
@LongDistancePlanning: I considered just getting married on the cruise ship next January, it would be less expensive and we would already be on our honeymoon! It sounds so relaxing!
@CorgiTales: I'm glad you were happy with your decision. It's always nice to hear someone's prospective who's been through the trenches already.
@londongal: Congrats on your first post! :)
@amnystik: We are in the same boat now. We're cutting things left and right. They were still in the budget and we could have afforded them, but why spend money we don't HAVE to spend? Good luck.
Good.. get back to the basics... and luck I no longer need... lol tied the knot the 9th.. everything went GREAT and I promise there are TONS of things you'll never notice b/c you'll be too enthralled in being MARRIED!!!!!! hehe
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: YES YES YES. We were originally going to elope (we have had a very long engagement) then decided to have a 'real' wedding. I am regretting it now. Had some family issues a few months ago which have made me feel estranged. Had a really bad falling out with my MOH. I am getting little help in planning the wedding. I always thought this would be a very fun time in my life, but boy was I wrong. It is just a LOT of stress and money. 
I just hope it's all worth it on the big day.
If we weren't knee deep in non-refundable deposits, I would cancel and elope. A trip to the courthouse and then a badass vacation somewhere halfway around the world.
I never really thought about eloping (would need to have my parents, brother, sister, and best friend there), but I have thought about having a super tiny wedding. I'm talking ten people on a beach.
However, even though I'm currently super stressed about planning, I'm still glad we're doing this. I am unbelievably excited about dancing the night away with my new husband and all the people I care about - friends, family, friends who are practically family, etc. And I think it's a little judgmental to say that all of it is crap and doesn't matter - FI and I have had every single meaningful part of our relationship in private (deciding to date, having sex, living together, deciding to be together forever) and I'm really excited about getting to share my love and joy with everyone else. And while pew pomanders probably don't matter (I'm not having them, because they're not a priority), I think for some people it does matter that they're building a magical day that's totally reflective of the people involved.
Everyone should get to have the wedding they want, but I think it's unfair to let bitterness over your own wedding cause you to condemn other people's.
@Miss OBG: I didn't condemn anyone. I didn't say anything to anyone personally. There are several posts above of people who wished they had eloped but have chosen to go along with their wedding plans. There is nothing wrong with having a big wedding, and nothing wrong with running off and eloping either. For the record, we are still having our "wedding". This topic was supposed to be a place to blow off steam for girls who are a little stressed and wanted to commiserate with each other. There was no nastiness, or hostility, that is until you showed up. There are a thousand topics on this site that I don't like or agree with and I avoid them. You can only be offended by something if you allow yourself to be. I did not PM you and tell you that having your large wedding is a bad idea and that all your things are crap and don't matter. It was meant as a generalisitc statement and not directed towards you, or any bee for that matter. So sorry for being so "judgemental" and "bitter" but it seems that out of 10 posters, you're the only one that feels that way. Thanks and have a wonderful wedding in all sincerity.
@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: Sorry, was actually not directed toward you. You sounded frustrated and venting, and I actually agreed with a lot of the points you made. I should have used a tag to refer to the actual commenter I felt was condemning other people's plans, but I think to do that now would just cause more drama, and I probably should've just stayed out of it. I just think there should be a line between questioning your own choices and publicly questioning other people's (especially on a site which proclaims to support everyone's different wedding visions). I don't think you crossed that line at all, and I'm sorry if my comment was offensive.
Add me to this list! Definitely wish I could take all of the deposits back and hop on a plane to my groom's island of St. Maarten and stand in the sand with just me, him, and someone to make it legal.
Oh man. I wish.
My family would kill me though. We were going to do a courthouse wedding after our wedding day, and they FLIPPED. Pretty much ruined everything.
Families are nice, but sometimes care too much...
The closer I get to our wedding day the more I wish I had listened to my fiance and eloped with him. 
Oh yes! All the time. To be honest, up until we paid the deposit for the caterer I was still considering it, because the only money we had put down so far was for my dress. I still would like to just take all the money that we're spending and go on an amazing trip instead of paying for this huge party. Its good to know we can save this much in a year though, maybe next year we'll have enough to take a trip...
@Cotton: yes. My FI wanted to elope as well. Why didn't I listen. I'm an only daughter and my mom was looking forward to this. That's why I did it. If it weren't for all the deposits on venues, photographers, caterers, etc. I would elope.
I have found wedding planning more stressful that I imagined. Not even family drama, I just question my own decisions.
I had massive doubts.... considered eloping when my family went crazy during wedding planning... and in the end, figured I'd only really know if I made the right decision the day after the wedding (when it was too late and all the money was spent).
Wanna know the end result: BEST.DECISION.EVER to have the wedding!
During the time of major elopement contemplation, I realized that I wanted to make this commitment surrounded by people that were both invested in us as people and our life-long friends.
I still am in awe of all the wedding crazy... but I figure all that crazy is part of the process and experience.
And, we paid for it all, and I still think about the dress sitting in the closet that only got worn once and all the money we could have done other things with... but, it doesn't matter. I would have always wondered 'what if' - had I gone through with the elopement and I'm glad that I got through the muck (some days much better than others) and went through with it.
IF you really are wondering if you should scrap plans and elope, really think about why a wedding was important to you in the first place. Identifying the why's was really helpful to me and really made me focus on what was really important to me. It helps put things into perspective!
It seems like I'm in the minority here - but NO WAY! I loved having those closest to us share in our joy and celebration. We had a blast, as did everyone else - and it was a great excuse to have everyone we love in one place together. Yes, planning is stressful and lots went wrong - but to me there's nothing better than sharing your joy!
I am really looking forward to the wedding. Even though I have had tons of bridesmaid drama, I wouldnt change it for the world. I guess I can say this because my wedding is going to be very intimate. If I had to choose between planning a huge wedding and eloping I would probably elope.
I never wanted a big wedding. I begged FH in the beginning to just run off to the courhouse, bring about 8 people and be done with it... I went along with the wedding planning though mostly for my mom and for his mother. I'm the only daughter, FMIL missed her daughter's wedding and dislikes her other daughter in law.
Sometimes I still think about just eloping. This wedding I'm planning is not the one I wanted and it's not what I pictured myself doing but I suppose I can get through it.
It's not the wedding part of wedding planning that I have a problem with.
It's the PLANNING part of wedding planning that I hate. Dear God, is it July yet?
My wedding day was my favorite day of my life, and I wouldn't change anything about it. But, I kind of wish we would have eloped and still had the wedding. I always thought it would be really cool to share that with my husband and have no one else know about it...a romantic wedding just the two of us, and then a big party later. I suppose technically we were married before our wedding anyway, because we signed our marriage license alone in our house two days before and sent it in. It would have been neat had we made it more of an intimate ceremony.
I never wanted to scrap the wedding and JUST elope, though. I love planning and this was a dream come true.
I wish I could... SO BADLY! Everything is driving me crazy. I mean, I am so happy to be marrying the man I love, however I do think the money could've been placed for a better use. Right now I look at all the expenses and I can't help feeling frustrated because I wanted a really small affair were only our close family would be there. However, he insisted he wanted to be with the persons he knows and loves and now I am planning a wedding for a huge number of people I don't even want there, just because he wants the people he loves around. Because of this decision I now have to invite my HUGE family which takes up more than half of the list, because to be able to afford it we had to have my father chipping in, which means having my dad's family (which I don't really care about) there. And whenever I bring up the subject to my SO he just closes up and says that it is not fair on him not to be able to invite everyone he wants just because I want to avoid having my family there and to avoid paying. Sometimes I feel so mad at him and resenting him, because it's really not what I wanted and planning something big and expensive, makes me feel so AHH!!!
Thank you for reading me out and relating with me...
@claudlara: I know how you feel. My FI was born and raised in the town we met in and have ultimately settled in. He has tons of friends and family here and I don't. I was a military brat and moved everywhere when I was younger so all my friends live in different states and countries ughh! His list was twice the size of mine and it is a little frustrating because of the number of people. We also wanted something small and intimate but we also realized how many mutual friends we have. People that have been there from the beginning of out relationship and watched it grow, so we couldn't cut them out.
I encourage you to talk to your FI so you don't have resentment for each other! Make sure you tell him how much this day means to you, even though it's stressful for you both right now. I wish you luck hun and thanks for sharing!!
@ZoeKat: I love the prospectives of bees that are already married! It makes it seem like this REALLY will all be worth while! Glad your day was so wonderful.
I totally wish we would have just eloped. We were actually going to. 3 months after we got engaged, we said "lets just go to the court house, get it done with our two best friends there and have a fabulous honeymoon"...well it leaked somehow and my parents were not okay with it at all. So, we said we would wait and save money for a wedding. A year passed and we went back to the eloping idea, accept in Puerto Rico. Sounded amazing and we really needed a vacation (5 years have gone by and neither of us have gone on a single vacation). We were going to fly both sets of parents out with us and my parents threw a ginormous fit. Finally we just said fine. We'll do it your way...
So here we are. Almost a month before the wedding...and although I've liked some of the planning, I've hated all of it when something goes wrong! So I am with you there. I think something small and intimate with just my soon-to-be-husband and me with some sun, sand, margaritas and a great photographer sounds like the best wedding ever.
Oh! and get this, since our wedding has a hefty price tag--our honeymoon has been post-poned 5 months. That comes to a total of 6 stressful years...without a vacation.
We did elope, it was amazing and intimate. A close friend came along to be our photographer, we celebrated with cupcakes, saw a show with just the two of us. We were able to have time to take it all in. We are still having a ceremony in June though, and I'm glad we did it this way because I'm no longer stressed about the upcoming June event. It is still special, it's just not overwhelming...the biggest part is already taken care of.
@ Heatherloveskenny: I'm sorry your parents seem to have taken over your wedding... That sounds very frustrating! I can't believe they opposed a vacation!! I would have definitely been on board with that.
I eloped and it was amazing! We had a combination wedding/honeymoon. Our families knew and 2 friends, but we didn't even tell anyone else we were engaged (for 10 months.) People often ask me about regretting eloping. I am so glad we did it-our wedding day was perfect and stress free. We had a big party a few months after we got back that allowed us to celebrate with family and friends, but since we were already married it was also stress free.
Many people have told me that they want to do something similar.
@cakegal: Yay I love happy stories! So glad it was everything you wanted it to be.
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My wedding planning has not been the least bit tumultuous. I have endured moments that were annoying at most, however yesterday I began having thoughts. So far, with the money we have spent we could have run off to some unknown location with our marriage license in hand and had a fun, romantic time. In your planning, have you had doubts about going through with the big she-bang instead of something quiet and intimate?