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That's your call, though whose to say they would expect an invite? My FI's mom recently got married and his step-dad has two kids and step-kids; we aren't inviting any of them, no one said anything, and I don't believe they expected to get anything since we don't ever really talk to them (we last saw them at the wedding and barely spoke to them, not out of anger or anything, but just because). Also, we really only wanted to limit invites to close family (and unfortunately, some folks we just had to invite) and close friends (no "and plus guest" for singles).
If you are paying for the wedding and add to that that these are just nasty folks, why ruin your big day? You can always have a dinner for the family after the fact, but I say no.
I've only met my adult stepsiblings once... and I would never invite them to my wedding over my close family & friends! We had nothing to talk about & they were just not my type of people.
They didn't invite you to milestone moments in their lives, I don't think you need to invite them to yours! You should be surrounded by loved ones on your wedding day... not cold, unfriendly strangers!
I ALWAYS forget that DH technically has 3 step-siblings. One is little (like 5) and the other two are like college-age. I haven't met them and he hasnt' seen them in 5 years cuz they live in VA.
So uh, we didn't invite them. I always forget about them and say that DH has "one sister" but technically he has more
If they are rude and you don't see them that often, don't invite them. If they say anything to you, just say it was out of respect for your mother.
Everyone--thanks for the quick advice! I really appreciate your input.
@ejs4y8 I should have written that a bit more clearly, it's actually my mother who is pressuring me to invite them. She has developed cordial relations with most of them and a bit of a closer relationship with the youngest. She feels that if I don't invite them, it will make life awkward for her.
I'm in the same boat! A stepsister and stepbrother, both grown, married, and with kids. Totally awful and cold to me. My dad made it clear that I had to invite them, but as they live a long flight away from where the wedding will be, and we have a no-kids policy, I doubt they will come. We actually made the no-kids policy hoping that it would make it where they couldn't - none of our close friends/family have young children! So, we did our invite duty (without blowing our guest list for our small wedding on their 80 gazillion children). Fingers crossed it works the way we think. The stepbrother RSVP'd YES to my brother's wedding and then didnt show - we doubt he'll do that to us, since this is out of town and my brother's wedding was in the same town they live in.
FI has recently acquired step-siblings, but they're nice, so they're invited :) I say the rule of reciprocity applies - they didn't invite, you don't invite.
My biological fathers wife has 2 spawn. One of them is EVIL and she would never be invited. The other is nice but we do not talk so he is not invited. I am already being really really nice by inviting my father's EVIL wife! The EVIL Stepmother in Cinderella has nothing on this woman...
OH gotcha. I totally misunderstood. If your mother thinks you should invite them, I would. Especially if she feels it could make it awkward for her down the road even though I"d really hate to do it and cut out friends in the process.
I barely know my step-brothers but they're always nice so my situation is different. Honestly I hadn't planned on inviting them since we're keeping the wedding small but my step-dad really wanted them there and offered to pay for them so we did. So I answered "other" --- I did invite them but didn't have to choose them over others we did want to invite since we didn't have to pay.
In your situation, it sounds like you have no reason to invite them. Don't include people you know either won't come or will come and be deliberately unpleasant the entire time. 
My family is in a weird situation because my mom and stepdad are recently divorced, nobody talks to him at all, but my older stepsister and I are really close. she's one of my best friends so she is also one of my bridesmaids.
You're situation is different but If they are that miserable and treat you poorly then I definitely don't think they deserve an invite. And if they didn't invite you to their wedding then they probably aren't expecting an invite to yours. I would definitely keep the people you are close to on the list rather than inviting them.
Honestly, they sound awful, they treat you poorly, they don't include you in anything--why would you want them at your wedding? And in addition to that....what makes anyone think they would WANT to come to your wedding? I mean, I get that your mom doesn't want things to awkward, but they would only be awkward if the step siblings are expecting an invitation and then don't get one--but it doesn't sound like they're expecting one. It seems to me that they're not expecting to be invited (if they are, they're crazy), so they won't care when they're not, so there won't be any awkwardness for your mom. Good luck!
@mrsmdphd , your post expresses my thoughts about this whole situation pretty clearly. I think at least two of them wouldn't expect to be invited. But, I think the eldest, who is kind of the leader of the pack, would expect one, be offended, and make a huge deal out of it if she didn't get one. When it comes to the youngest, she's really the only one I'd feel guilty about excluding because I think she's not so much mean as shy. She and my mom have developed a pretty good relationship, and she was quiet but decent to me the last few times I saw her. But, I can't invite her and not the others. Ahhhh, fun times.
I sa no if they were children i would say yes but they are adults they probably don't want to come anyway if they don't like you and if they do it's only to make you miserable.
so again i say no
If it were me, I would tell my mom to make me the "bad-guy". You rarely see them and don't care for them, so for your mom to avoid awkwardness she could say that she wanted you to invite them but you said no there was no space. It would be true and would absolve her of some issues. But maybe this would make you uncomfortable?
ive got three heartless half sisters from my father's previous marriage. all in their late to mid 30's. i dont like them at all they call my mom names and take advantage of my dad. they still think my sister and i were "given everything" even though we werent, and are insanely jealous of us, even though they have no reason to be.
they. are. not. invited.
its your day, have it drama free :)
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I have a specific situation that I am hoping to get some advice on.
My mother remarried when I was in my mid-twenties. I know my stepdad quite well and often spend time with him and my mom. He's a great guy and I care about him a lot. He has four adult children, three of whom are married. I've only interacted with them on a few occasions, and they have always been very cold to me and my family. In fact, the first time we met, they actually got together in advance to plan how they would be mean to us (...hard to believe they're in their 20s and 30s and still acting this way). They are sour, unfriendly people. I have not been invited to the one wedding and two baby namings they have held, and I did not get even a thank you for the baby gift I sent to be polite.
So, my question is, do I invite them to the wedding?
If I do, I know my Mom would be happy because she doesn't want any awkwardness. I also care about my stepdad and don't want to hurt his feelings by excluding his kids (even though he says he'd be fine either way). Our numbers are super tight and I've already have to cut my own friends and relatives from the guest list. I'd have to cut more to accomodate the stepsiblings.