Anyone's DH scared out of their mind about raising kids?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My DH is the same way, and we are TTC this month. Following to see if anyone has any good advice.

Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m more scared than my husband to raise kids too. We also do not have kids yet…working on it ;), but imo, if you both are good people and know manners then along the way you will teach your children that. Remember you are parents first, not friends (at least until they are adults). 

Post # 4
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

FreckledFox:  My husband and I are the opposite, he’s enthusiastic, calm, and ready to raise our kids while I’m the total basket case lol.  Things that he’s done to help me adjust include: getting the babies’ room ready, reading informative articles with me, encouraging me to speak with other moms/parents, and making me realize that I don’t need to know everything about parenting all at once.  He’s scheduled several classes, a maternity tour and has been to all of my appointments with me.  I think just knowing that I have a partner that’s supportive and willing to be there for me has helped a lot.

Post # 5
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband is in for the shock of his life. He thinks that because he was a “good kid” our boy is going to be a little angel. I kind of wish he’d think about the actual challenges of raising a kid, though he’ll find out in about 43 days, but who’s counting?

Post # 6
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

housebee:  Your husband sounds like the greatest man in the world. Props to good dads who are going to raise awesome kids!

Post # 7
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FreckledFox:  DH and I are both nervous, but I think your DH’s reaction just shows how much he cares about being a good dad – once the baby comes, I think he’ll adapt (and be too busy to worry about everything).

 

Post # 8
Member
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

FreckledFox:  I’m the one who’s scared to the point of hyperventilating at the idea of TTC and being responsible for raising a human being… my fiance is a kid person and is totally calm. I’ve never spent much time around kids or babies and am not really comfortable around them – I worry that I will be an awkward, distant, unhappy parent. 🙁

Just continue to reassure your husband that you will work through any challenges together, and help each other through any rough spots. Knowing how good my fiance is with kids helps my terror a little.

Post # 9
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

FreckledFox:  My DH is way more ready for kids than I am- I’m more like your DH; petrified of messing it up. I know it helps me feel more prepared when I do research on parenting (reading books, articles). Maybe if you buy him a few parenting books to peruse, he’ll feel more prepared when the time comes.

Post # 10
Member
917 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My husband is terrified too. He knows we’re on track to TTC in October of this year, but I think part of him is still in denial. He didn’t have the most stable family life growing up, and he feels he doesn’t have a good role model for how to be a good dad. I’ve tried to tell him that as long as he stays involved, that’s the biggest thing, and the rest will come. I do think that seeing his friends become dads has helped him some, but it’s hard to tell. He will talk more seriously about it when we’re around other people, but when we’re alone he goes back to joking about just getting another dog.

He’s also afraid of the monster I will become once I’m getting zero sleep, and knowing me, he does have a valid point there.

Post # 12
Member
8418 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Floofy:  I’m definitely lucky to have such an awesome guy 🙂

FreckledFox:  I am so grateful he has done/is doing all these things.  When I first got pregnant, I spent every other night crying about how I didn’t think I’d be able to manage (it was not pretty lol), but knowing I wasn’t going at it alone made things so much more bearable.  Plus, I think enthusiasm rubs off, so if you have a positive upbeat attitude I’m sure your husband will start feeling the same way soon.

Post # 13
Member
4587 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My DH has always been the more level headed one and is actually very chill about being a parent. I’ m the one who’s terrified of “messing up” our DD and any future kids!

Post # 14
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

FreckledFox:  My husband is so afraid he refuses to have them. We’re working on it. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1446 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It sounds like he really cares about being a good dad!  Do you guys have any friends with kids or babies?  I feel like my DH relaxed more after spending time with friends who’ve had babies in the last year or so.  Other than that…. it might just take having a baby for him to relax, you know?

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