Post # 1
So, I know it is unfortunately common for a friend who you ask to be a BM sort of ‘cool down’ during the wedding process.
This happened in my case, there were a couple of areas where she disappointed me as a friend as a BM. And now that the wedding is all said and done, our friendship has definitely cooled off a bit.
I’m not sure how to fix it though.
How many others have ‘lost’ a friendship after asking that person to be your BM?
Post # 3
I did, but it’s a bit different considering that she didn’t approve of my relationship and did some mean things. Kinda hard to fix that, and I didn’t want to be her friend anymore.
But in your case, if you still want to be her friend then I think trying to give her a mentally would be the best thing. Call her up, ask to visit, talk about the things that bugged you and tell her that you still love her and see where it goes. Is that something that you’re interested in?
Post # 4
That’s happened with me and a friend. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we are just in different stages of our lives even though we are the same age. I’ve been married for 2 years, have a baby on the way, own my own home, etc. She still lives with her mom and is always talking about going out to clubs, partying, and getting drunk. So, it’s just hard because it feels like we don’t have anything in common anymore even though we’ve been friends for about 14 years.
Post # 5
I’m having problems with a BM and my wedding isn’t even here yet! I hope things get better.
Post # 6
I lost 2 friends/bridesmaids during my engagement and now, post wedding we don’t talk at all.
Post # 7
My Maid of Honor and I don’t even speak now. :/ I know my case is extreme. I have been going through a lot of changes and growing and I just realized maybe she wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be friends with after all. She was o selfish about everything with the wedding, and didn’t even end up being a part of it- OR there at all.
I had high expectations of people before the wedding, I have learned to basically expect noting, and to communicate what I DO want from people or need from them. If you want to be her friend, tell her what you need from her, give her a chance, and move on with her in your life- see how it goes. No one is perfect, but it can be hard to know when is enough/ what is too much…
Post # 8
i was a BM for this friend who i had been good friends with since high school. a couple of years before she got engaged i felt like we were drifting apart. well i really felt it was one sided where i was making the effort and she was not. she then asked me to be her BM so i was very happy. that whole year that she was engaged i saw her at her engagement party, her bridal shower, her bachelorette and her wedding. oh and a night she organzied to give all the bridal party their gift. basically only her wedding stuff. i tried many times to organize things with her and she always cancelled or didnt call back. i had started dating my now FI and i wanted to double date before her wedding so she could meet him. after her cancelling twice she promised the next one would work out. a week went by after we made plans, on the day of the double date, i called HER and she was out shopping. she told me she had known all week she had to cancel because it was her FIs grandmother’s bday party, but was too scared to tell me! well it made me more mad that i only found out our plans were cancelled because i called her on the day of our plans. but since it was so close to her wedding at that point, i didn’t say anything to her how i felt. after her wedding i saw her at her baby shower and went to visit her in the hospital when her baby was born. i haven’t seen her since. i tried emailing/calling her with no replies. so i finally stopped trying and of course our friendship is non-existant now. it was not even a question at this point that i would not be asking her to my BM. back then i might have. i don’t even know if i will get an RSVP for my wedding (i still decided to invite her) but i won’t be chasing her down for it.