Post # 1
Anyone’s mother hate or dislike their dress choice? Please Share!
I’ve always had this vision of me and my mother bonding over excitement with finding the right dress, her beaming and telling everyone how happy she is.
Well, that didn’t happen. I feel so unsettled. I want to put the deposit down on my choice & my wedding is in May, so I NEED to order soon. But I keep hesitating because of knowing my mother doesn’t like it. I actually cried at the bridal salon about it. lol It was just hard to take. Everyone was beaming except my mother. Her opinion was the most important one. Plus, she’s paying for it (or was, not sure now. lol. I’ll just use that money for something else)
Anyone else’s mother not enthusiastic about their choice? I don’t want to feel alone. You always see the mother happy for her daughter with her dress on on TV & the movies.
Post # 3
@pinkeclipse: What doesn’t she like about it specifically?
I wore the same dress I initially bought when I was engaged to my ex because I didn’t need a whole new wedding dress, you know? My mom thought it looked nice, but I think because of who I was going to marry at the time, she wasn’t excited.
When I went to try the dress on after getting engaged to DH, she cried because she loved it so much. She was especially shocked at how amazing it looked after I dropped some weight too.
I hope your mama comes around :-
Post # 4
I have no idea, actually. She never said anything–the first and only time she saw it was at the wedding. MIL loved my dress, though (of course, she also went shopping with me and paid for part of it).
Post # 5
@vorpalette: You sound a lot closer to your MIL than your mom! I can’t even imagine, lol.
OP, I am sure my mom will love it. We haven’t picked it yet but she will be part of the process. She will be sure to tell me if I look great or terrible 😛
Post # 6
That sucks. When I was dress shopping I ran into that a few times. I ended up continuing to shop until we finally found one that everybody loved. Show us pics?
Post # 7
@MrsPanda99: For sure. I don’t really speak with mine (though I have seen her a couple of times since the wedding and things were okay), but we see MIL quite a bit. She was excited to go dress shopping, as she has two boys and wasn’t invited to go with her other DIL. My mom isn’t girly at all anyway.
Post # 8
When i first wore it she didnt like it. But i knew it was “my” dress so i bought it anyway. In the end, she did really love it.
Post # 9
@Swizzle: I would worry that she was just saying what I wanted to hear. I know my partner wouldn’t do that. If he hates it, he will be happy to tell me, lol. If he suddenly changed his mind, I’d wonder.
@Pinkmoon: I plan to do the same thing. My parents and my partner will be coming along (no sister!) and I want a consensus.
Post # 10
On that day I found my dress, both my MIL and mum were there. The MIL was excellent and really excited, my mum kept talking about a previous dress she had made me try on (it was 3 times our budget). So I feel the pain.
The difference I see is that I never imagined bonding with my mum during wedding planning. I always expected it to be a struggle as she is very opinionated and is convinced she knows what I like and that if I don’t like it, I’m just confused. Still it was sad to be proved right.
On the plus side though, she was sayng it was gorgeous by the actual wedding. I think some mums have an idea of how you’ll look and it takes a hile to get over the change of image. I’m sure she’ll love it when she knows how much you do.
Post # 11
@MrsPanda99: No, my mother says whats on her mind. She said the lace looked like spider webs (what?) when i first had it on. But everyone else there really liked it. Down the road she admitted she had judged too soon because it was different than any other one i tried on. Honestly, if i my mom did hate my dress i wouldn’t care anyway. She’s not the one wearing it and she’s 30 years older than me so ya….she might have different tastes.
Post # 12
What were your mother’s reasons for not liking your dress?
If you end up sticking with your decision, remind her that the dress isn’t wearing you on your wedding day. Just the opposite. And therefore, YOU will make it look beautiful and perfect.
Most of the women I hang out with have very different style and fashion tastes than their mothers anyway (ie, traditional vs contemporary, casual vs formal, flowy vs structured, lacy vs simple, bold vs understated, trendy vs classy, etc…).
Post # 13
Don’t compare your experiences to tv and movies because it will always pale in comparison. I like living in the real world even when things don’t go my way.
My Mother is very traditional and I am not. If I had my way I probably would have gotten married in a black dress lol. She wasn’t thrilled about the fact that I chose not to get married in a pure white dress.
At the end of the day I realized that it’s my dress I have to wear it, and that I have very different taste from my mother and therefore it’s ok that she didn’t love my dress. The only person who needs to love the dress is you. She might have made a different choice but you are an adult and it’s your choice to make.
Oh and for the record my mom cried(happy teears) when she saw me all done up with my makeup and dress on, even though I’m sure it’s not how she envision me to look on my wedding day.
I think you need to talk to your Mother and explain that you love the dress and even if she doesn’t like it you like her to support your choice anyways.
Post # 14
@pinkeclipse: My mom wasn’t. She wasn’t supportive about anything wedding related, but she said that she wanted to buy my dress for me. The whole appointment was awful, because she just sat there, showed no emotion, nothing. When I asked her if she liked the dress that I picked, she just shrugged and said, “yeah, it’s nice”. So my dress buying experience wasn’t the greatest. I couldn’t get excited about it.
Post # 15
I didn’t even go dress shopping with my mom originally (we arent close at all) but once I had already purchased it and went for my first fitting she came to see it and loved it! It wouldnt bother me if she liked it or not anyways since I’m the one wearing it
Post # 16
My mom and I actually had pretty similar taste in wedding dresses. We did not agree on runner up dresses, but we totally agreed on my dress because it was far and away better than any of the other dresses I tried on.