Apparently People are PLANNING on crashing our wedding…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Hostess
9908 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

Meant2Bee:  honestly, if they want to come AFTER dinner, for the dance, I wouldn’t be as worried, unless you’re paying for the bar per person – then you might have an issue (or maybe not…I don’t know)

BUT if you really want to stand on principle, because they are being just plain RUDE give the venue a list, not on the list, out you go.

 

Post # 3
Member
6875 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

I had people threaten to crash our wedding, and thankfully they didn’t. We did have an action plan for if they did, I think it’s probably wise if you do too. I don’t think you need anyone to be checking names at the door, but you should have a family member responsible for knowing WHO to look for as far as the crashers go. If they do show up, then have the venue handle their removal. They will be the ones that look like idiots when there are no chairs for them, plates, or food. Sorry you have to deal with this! I know how bad it sucks – especially the catty girl stuff. It’s nearly a month after my wedding and I’m still dealing with catty women.

Post # 4
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

So incredibly rude of them. Definitely hire security.

Post # 6
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

OMG! that is crazy!! Thankfully we have not had this worry! What is wrong with people, if you didnt get an invite you cant just crash a wedding. Maybe make you rethink some friendships eh!

 

Good luck! I would definitely have some sort of security set up… but dont be afraid to ask people to leave!

Post # 7
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

My mom’s cousin’s widow (who lives about 5 hours from where I am getting married) told us last weekend that she told her daugther they are coming to see me get married whether they are invited or not.  I don’t think they actually will.  And no they aren’t on the list. Mom didn’t invite them to her wedding for god sakes lol.

Post # 8
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Meant2Bee:  I was worried about the same thing, so I gave the venue a list. Actually I forgone the seating chart and went with a guest list to escort people to their seats. I had some attendants stand at the reception door and tell people their assigned table once their name was crossed off. I also informed them that if it’s an uninvited guest that that person must wait outside until a seat opens up (if a invited guest didn’t show, that actually didn’t happen, 100% of my guests arrived).    I was told by my venue that they would close down the bar if they found out non-paid for guests were partying and drinking from the bar, since I had an open bar I paid for per adult guest. So it was vital that the venue stayed exclusive to just invited guests. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  KingsDaughter.
Post # 9
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Absolutely give the venue your list! Especially if you’re covering the bar tab, there’s no way you should be paying for crashers.

Post # 10
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Chances are they are screwing with you and just want you to worry that this will  happen. If  they were really intending to crash, most likely they wouldn’t announce it ahead if time.  What did MOH reply?

 I would call the person who texted personally and make it clear that you are limited for space and had to cut your numbers.  And that it’s it’s not an  open house or drop in kind of event.

On the very off chance that you think they are  serious about making a big scene, it is not the job of the venue to keep lists or be your bouncer.  You’d have to hire private security or have someone in your group handle it, hopefully with some measure of tact and diplomacy. 

Post # 11
Member
6888 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Another possibility is that they want to come to the ceremony, not the reception.  Many services are open to the public, so maybe they are just assuming this is OK.  

Post # 12
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House

Uh i know how you feel. I have family who didnt get invited and say oh we are going. I had to say something. but i have a HUGE family.. like massive. im mexican. that should tell you something. im only having 80 people 90 tops at my wedding. we wanted it small (well thats super small for me) . also all my family is in AZ, NV, or TX and im in california. so i dont think people are going to pay $$$$ to come out here just to crash my wedding. 

 

but i would have a list. and a backup plan. because its not $$$ coming out of their pocket its out of yours and people need to realize that. that just frustrates me. because being a upcoming bride….i know how much stress you are already under.

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