Post # 1
Kingy and I decided that only people who are seriously dating may bring a guest to our wedding, which I am fine with. One of my friend had JUST gotten a boyfriend when we sent out invites and honestly, her relationships are usually pretty immature. We decided not to invite him, thinking it couldn’t be serious. Its been a bit of time and they’re still dating and seem to have a pretty nice relationship. This girl is not really friend with any of my other friends and was really uncomfortable at my bridal shower (she didn’t say so but I could tell she felt left out because she didn’t really know any one well enough to have a conversation or anything).. she responded to my invite saying she’d be bringing a guest. Kingy FREAKED out and has been arguing with me about it since then. He keeps saying ‘when are you going to tell her she can’t bring him?’ ‘why should i have to pay an extra $100 so she can bring her flavor of the month?’ etc.
I personally think its unfair that everyone else gets to bring their boyfriends except her, just because she doesn’t have the best track record. Also, the fact that she will feel so uncomfortable there if she doesn’t have a date, which I didn’t really realize until my bridal shower.
Post # 3
Is she really the only one without a date? Or that gets caught on the line? I’d feel very singled out if that were me, if that’s the case. Drawing a line is helpful for cutting out groups of people, but not necessarily intended to cut out just one person. As host, you want everyone to feel comfortable without breaking the bank. If you think she will be uncomfortable and not know anyone, then yes, it may be a good time to bend a rule.
Post # 4
if you tell her that she can’t bring a date, well, she might not end up coming at all!
then you get SAVE $100! oh goody…
Post # 5
I think you should tell your FI that’s it’s really important to you that she bring a date. (for the reasons you mention above, if needed).
That said: if he still says no – then you need to respect the decision that you two made together on how you’d handle +1’s.
Post # 6
@kingytobe: Are we 12? Can’t people go places alone and make friends? If she isn’t social then thats her problem. Sorry to agree with FH but you didn’t originally give her a guest and you should not have extended an invitation to accomodate an additional guest. Now that you already did you can’t take it back.
Post # 7
I guess it really depends what your criteria for dating was… 1+yrs? 6mths? what they deem serious?
If just about everyone else that was in a relationship is bringing a date then I think that if she’s in a relationship with this person it should follow suite with the others.
If she doesn’t fit the criteria you set up then she doesn’t….
We didn’t let anyone that wasn’t engaged or married bring a date other than the wedding party b/c a few were seriously dating but hadn’t made official engagements.
Post # 8
seeing as she doesnt know many people that will be there i think its only fair to allow her to bring a guest (since its her boyfriend and all and not just a date) – its one extra person ya know? and honestly your FI wont even realize if he is there or not, yall will have too many people to talk to and entertain. I hope he comes around!
Post # 9
@Captain013: I agree. I go to functions a lot without my husband, and I’ve learned to be able to talk to complete strangers and build a repoire, but it is also part of my job. Maybe it will help bring her out of our comfort zone, which could be a good thing