Post # 1
I’m posting this anonymously simply because it has to do with my career and my real username is too close to my real name…I just don’t want anything to be linked to my name that could affect me in the future in any way.
DH and I live in a smaller city about an hour from where we grew up. I love this city, but it is an absolute dead-end for me career-wise. There are just no jobs here in my field. When I decided on my college major, I wasn’t planning on staying in this area after graduating. However, DH got an internship when he was a student with a government agency here, and they hired him right out of college. This was an AMAZING opportunity for him, he is by FAR the youngest in his department and he has already moved up a lot since he started working there. He is well respected and loves his job.
We both graduated 2 years ago, and my experience has unfortunately been nothing like his. I did a very small unpaid internship that led nowhere, even though I applied for jobs like crazy around the time I graduated and immediately after. I just could not find a job. I eventually had to start applying FAR outside my field, and have been working at a job that I don’t particularly enjoy just to be working, although I’m constantly looking for something else. The job I have now doesn’t even require a college degree.
I have felt stuck here because DH has such an awesome job. The district here is small which gives him a lot of opportunity for advancement. But it’s been 2 years now and things still aren’t looking up for me :(. I would really like to start looking for jobs elsewhere.
Just for “fun,” today I decided to search for jobs in a city that DH and I both LOVE and have discussed maybe moving to one day. I nearly cried because there were DOZENS of jobs that I am qualified for. The agency DH works for even has a district there! I didn’t see any job openings there for him though…but who knows, maybe he could find an internal posting or something that’s not advertised to the public.
Would it be a good idea for me to start applying for jobs in another state? What if DH couldn’t immediately secure a job there? My starting salary wouldn’t even come close to matching what he makes right now, so clearly it wouldn’t be practical for us to move if he couldn’t get a job. I don’t even know the logistics of applying for a job in another state….such as interviews, etc. Moving across the country is a BIG DEAL, and I know that…so I feel a bit selfish for even wanting to consider it, but I am just so miserable here having no career path, and earning next to nothing. I just feel like it would be so nice to start over somewhere new.
Post # 3
Here’s my story:
I graduated from college with one college degree, decided it wouldn’t work for me as a full time career, went back and got another degree in two years. During that two years, I met FI. After about 8 months of dating, he moved two states away. We continued to date (I had another year of college to go). We were serious, so when I was getting close to graduating, I looked for jobs in his state. I’m not an engineer and applied to over 20 places, but none were hiring entry-level positions. I did a bit of networking and scored an interview. The boss liked me and offered me a job so I moved and FI and I moved in together and have been living here ever since (3+ years).
My interview process included two phone interviews and then one in-person interview when I was visiting FI. Some companies might pay for you to come interview in-person, but some won’t and will expect you to get there on your own.
I would say go for it, but if you do get a job and DH doesn’t immediately, you could do long distance. A close friend moved from Wisconsin to Florida for a job and without her husband. It took him 8 months to get out of his job. It was hard for them, but they got through it and are happy with how things went/turned out.
Just make sure communication is frequent and open with DH. You both need to be on the same page to take something like this on.
Post # 4
It’s always a risk, if you want it, do it! We moved to CA with my husband having a secure job and me not having one yet. It’s something we both wanted, we can survive on one income, and we can undo it if it doesn’t work out.
Post # 5
This is a major decision for the both of you. It will affect your whole lives, now and in the future. Do your research well and good luck!
Post # 6
It’s really hard to get companies to take you seriously if you are across the country and just want to pick up and go there. Honestly, since he makes more money, I would go where he can find a job. That is what we did, my husband found a job and then I searched there.
Post # 7
I think you should go for it! But then again I guess it depends on if you think your DH can get a job in said city. I’m all for relocation. But I like change. And don’t worry if your hubby can’t get a job at the same time… I think in the long run living separate h for a month or two based on jobs is SO worth it 😀
Post # 8
Thank you for the replies, Bees. DH and I talked more last night about me looking for jobs elsewhere and I think he just doesn’t want to move right now. His reply is always “Well…maybe something will open up here for you…” He always tries to skirt around the subject, even though he has always said that he would like to move at some point. I’m just not sure if that time will ever come.
I know he’s comfortable where he is. He likes it here, he likes his coworkers, his bosses respect him even though he is young and acknowledge him as a hard worker. So I kind of feel like an ass even asking him to consider moving…for me, more or less.
It just depresses me because I feel as though I have no identity, professionally. I honestly feel like a failure and I don’t know how to change that. Hopefully in the next year or 2 we can reexamine the idea of moving.
Post # 9
It sounds like you’re in a pretty specialized field, which would be pretty necessary to scoring an out of state job. Many companies won’t consider out of state applicants if there is a local talent pool to hire from – they don’t want to pay for interview travel, relocation, etc. Start networking! Use LinkedIn, get in touch with whoever you can to make a lical connection, and see where that takes you. Hopefully DH can do the same within his department and you guys can find that balance it sounds like you need.
Post # 10
@Ellegee: Thank you! I will definitely start networking. DH hasn’t taken any steps to see about jobs elsewhere, so maybe if he does that and it looks at all optimistic, he will be more open to the idea. Moving cross-country is just out of his comfort zone I guess, and I get that.
I did forget to mention that next week he will be in the particular city that I would like to move to, for a business trip. Fingers crossed that he will realize he loves it enough to move there, lol. 😉