Post # 1
I am a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding. She has decided to have 2 bridal showers, a small shower of 20 people in CT and a larger official shower of about 75 people at a very nice restaurant in NYC to accomodate everyone. My question is what is appropriate for me to give her as a gift? I would like to give her a smaller gift at the CT shower and a larger gift at the NY shower. I am uncertain what amount a BM is expected to spend on a shower gift. How much do BM usually spend for the shower? I should also add that the total amount I have spent as a BM for this wedding including dress, hair, shoes, bachelorette party, accomodations, travle and other costs is almost $1,000. More than I anticipated but she is my best friend and completely worth it! Any thoughts would be helpful just to give me a general idea of how much I should be spending and so I can pass the information on to the other BM’s. Thanks
Post # 3
I made a day of Wedding survival kit for my friend’s shower gift. It was a huge hit. I also thought it was a little more personal than going off the registry.
I think I ended up spending around $40ish. I was financially contributing to the shower as well and the Bride has been begging us not to spend money on gifts for her.
Post # 4
I think it depends on your personal financial situation and the amount you’re comfortable with. Are you chipping in with the other BMs for a large group gift? If that’s the case – everyone needs to be honest about what they can afford. If that amount is less than you are inclined to spend, you can get an extra small gift for the CT shower.
I generally spend $100 for a friend’s shower and more if it’s a very close friend or if I’m a bridesmaid. But I’m sure the amount varries very widely depending on the individual.
There is no amount too small – it really is (and should be) the thought and intent that counts!
Post # 5
I also want to add that you probably shouldn’t feel obligated to get 2 gifts. I am also having 2 showers and I told my BM’s who can make it to both, that in no way does this mean they need to get me 2 presents or one for that matter. Anyway, that being said, when I’m in the bridal party, I will normally spend less than $100. The last shower I went to, I spent about 75. The most I ever spent was 100, and we were forced into it (crazy MOH!), I felt that was high. It really depends on what you feel comfortable with. Maybe get a bigger gift for the bigger shower, like you said, and then a small item that goes with the bigger gift for the smaller shower. Hopefully there are items on her registry that go together like that. I’m a huge fan of buying off the registry unless I KNOW the bride will like the item, ie. the wedding survival kit that proBM2008 mentioned (great name btw! haha).
Post # 6
i’d do one ‘big’ gift (abt $100) or 2 mid size gifts ($50)
the group gift also sounds great. i like this idea bc you can still get a "nice" gift without shelling out too much cash.
Post # 7
My MOH gave me a really beautiful white silk photo album, which I used for engagement photos. It was a very thoughtful gesture and I treasure that gift.
Post # 8
For my bridal shower, in addition to hosting my shower, my BMs collectively got me an apron, oven mitt and a scrapbook. Even though the gifts were small, each item told me how much they knew me. It was the thought that counted.
Post # 9
I love giving fun lingerie!!! 🙂 It won’t break the bank and it’s fun to watch their expression when they open it and everyone goes ooooohhhhhh go girl! haha
Post # 10
i think getting just one big gift is fine. however, if you’re putting all of that money into being in a wedding, i don’t even think it’s necessary to spend a lot of money on a gift if you don’t have it. my sil/bridesmaid gave me a shadow box that she made with a picture of our engagement and made a whole scene about our engagement including the date, where we got engaged, etc. it was really cute and personal!
Post # 11
I think since you are already doing so much, I wouldn’t worry about getting her anything huge. Something simple that shows you know her best is always great. As a BM, I usually try to shy away from the registries, unless there is something on there I know the bride really wants or loves.
Post # 12
Get something from the registry that you can afford without going broke. If the couple didn’t need or want the stuff on the registry, it wouldn’t be there in the first place.