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@yu29: I don't think that you are being too picky. The dj is someone that will actually be interacting with your guests, so if he isn't professional upfront, I wouldn't expect him to be professional at your wedding.
Nope, not too picky. I was very nervous about picking a dj because every single wedding I went to had a cheesy dj. You know, with the show-biz/radio voice, corny jokes, random comments, etc.
So we looked a little outside the box. We go to weekly trivia at a bar and the announcer has the same taste in music as my FI, he's very friendly and has a great voice (but not cheesy), and has professional equipment. We asked him if he ever dj-ed weddings, and he said he was just getting into the business. So we booked him.
I would encourage you too look around and maybe outside of the traditional wedding dj. Good luck!
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I've spoken and met with several djs in the greater LA area and everyone had something I didn't like. One made me drive to Fullerton (from Westwood) to meet with him -- he didn't show me any pictures, he didn't show me his song catalog, he didn't show me a demo or anything, we just talked and I think it was at an apartment complex (we had our meeting in the main lobby) and I can't find a lot of reviews on him or the company. Another guy was a jerk, he thought that just because the venue manager recommended him, thats all I would need to know and he made fun of other djs while I was talking to him. Another guy wanted me to book with him after only talking to him for like 15 minutes (on the phone) and I hadnt even seen the contract. The only guy that seemed alright is far out of our price range ($1000). I'm getting really discouraged, am I being too picky??