Are all men big babies or is it just mine? Need to vent!

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7193 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

wahine37:  How often do you see each other during the week? I don’t think he’s being a big baby. Going out on a work night can be tiring. Also, can you visit him instead of him having to come to you?

Post # 4
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was not going to say anything, but I think that I should. You have kids in school. You make time for him. It is not that difficult for him to make time for you. My husband and I lived 45 minutes apart. I would go to see him, and he would come to see me. If a man really wants something he will go after it. He should make you a priority. My husband and I ended up moving in together after a few months because we just wanted to be together as much as we could! He knows your situation, and he should come to you some of the time. You should not always have to extend yourself. He should make the same effort. 

Post # 5
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

bebelicious1:  +1 

 

OP we obviously don’t know more than you have said here, but he should be making a bigger effort since you have kids, IMo, so I think you are justified in feeling a bit put out. Hopefully you can talk to him about this. 

Post # 7
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

All I can say is when my FI and I first started dating we lived 45-60 minutes away from each other and he would drive to my house after he got done working even if it was 3 in the morning (he typically works 10-12 hour days), just so he could see me even if I was already sleeping. I guess what I am trying to say is that a man will put in the effort if he feels it is worth it. Life as a way of trying to get in the way, but as you said, even with children you still make the effort because it is worth it to you.

Good Luck OP

Post # 8
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My SO can be a huge baby. 

But, when we first started dating, he made it known to me that my time was worth the effort. He can’t drive, because he has epilepsy, and at the time I was saving for a car. He would always walk to my mom’s house where I was staying at the time, which was four miles from his job. Once, he walked from his mom’s house, which was THIRTEEN miles away. It took him four hours, and I had to leave about fifteen minutes after he got there. He knew he’d only get to stop by and give me a kiss, and then walk the mile and a half back to his house….but he thought that was worth it. 

So yes, you’re right, he should be extending the effort of driving for fifteen minutes after work to come and see you.

Post # 10
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband made time to see me even when he was working 14 hours a day in the Navy. Your boyfriend should realize that it’s okay if you guys just spend an evening relaxing and being lazy together.

Post # 11
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

wahine37:  Oh, he can be sweet. He can also be a royal pain in my butt! I try to remember things like that when i’m mad so I don’t strangle him! He’s the first guy I’ve ever been with who has made that much of an effort with me. It doesn’t mean that the other guys I’ve dated were terrible, and I certainly don’t think that about your SO. Sometimes they just need a bit of…training? 🙂

Post # 12
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2015

FI and I spent the first eight months of our relationship taking turns driving two hours each way to each other’s houses, then four months driving four hours each way before I was able to move in with him permanently. I thought about taking some weekends off when his work scheduled stopped allowing him to drive as often, but then I would just be sitting at home by myself. What would be the point? If you want to spend time with someone, you find a way–it sounds like he is just making excuses. 🙁

Post # 13
Member
885 posts
Busy bee

Any chance he could leave a change of clothes at yours and one day a week, come straight to yours from work? That way if hes had a bad day you can still be together without having to sort something for your kids. Its often a lot of effort to leave the house again once you have got home and changed out of work clothes when you’ve had a long day, so by coming straight to yours he skips that part out? 

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